Parenting After Divorce - A Complete Guide HTML version

Independent parenting is really exactly what you may expect the term to
mean. In this parenting arrangement each parent manages their own rules,
expectations and day-to-day routines with respect to the children when the
children are in their care. To avoid confusion, having custody of the children
will be known as parenting time in this book. So, in independent parenting
models, when it is Mom's parenting time she makes the rules, sets discipline
and handles all issues without consultation with Dad. Dad likewise sets rules,
develops discipline policies and handless the decisions when the kids are with
him, again without consultation with Mom.
Most parents, especially those with older children, can quickly see that this
can be a potential disaster in the making. The problems with independent
parenting models are:
? Kids quickly learn Mom and Dad are not talking or collaborating, and
may take advantage of the situation by play both parents off each
other. In the worse case scenario these kids will be literally living two
lives disconnected from each other without the ability to talk about or
comment on what is happening in their other home.
? All children need structure and predictability in their life. This model
may not provide any structure or predictability, especially if Mom and
Dad have very different views of parenting. Kids may be highly
confused if rules, expectations and discipline are vastly different
between homes.
? Kids don't have the opportunity to continue to see and understand
both parents are working together; rather they clearly see that Mom
and Dad are in conflict and not interacting. This may teach children all