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“Meditation, Motivation and More” by Mary Havelock

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Please Read this First

Terms of Use

This Electronic book is Copyright © 2008. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means; electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise,

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Disclaimer

The advice contained in this material might not be suitable for everyone.

The author only provides the material as a broad overview by a layperson

about an important subject. The author obtained the information from

sources believed to be reliable and from his own personal experience, but he neither implies nor intends any guarantee of accuracy.

All claims made for any product, treatment or other procedure that is

reported in this book is only the author's personal opinion. You must do you own careful checking with your own medical advisor and other reputable

sources on any matter that concerns your health or that of others.

Research is constantly changing theories and practices in this area.

The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical

advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have

regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it for any reason.

The author, publisher and distributors never give legal, accounting, medical or any other type of professional advice. The reader must always seek those Copyright © 2008 All rights reserved - 2 -

“Meditation, Motivation and More” by Mary Havelock

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services from competent professionals that can review their own particular circumstances.

The author, publisher and distributors particularly disclaim any liability, loss, or risk taken by individuals who directly or indirectly act on the information contained herein. All readers must accept full responsibility for their use of this material.

All pictures used in this book are for illustrative purposes only. The people in the pictures are not connected with the book, author or publisher and no link or endorsement between any of them and the topic or content is implied, nor should any be assumed.

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“Meditation, Motivation and More” by Mary Havelock

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Contents

Please Read this First.........................................................................................2

Terms of Use .............................................................................................................................. 2

Contents ..............................................................................................................4

About the Author – Mary Havelock ...................................................................6

Part I: Meditation.................................................................................................7

Why Meditate?.....................................................................................................7

The Core Benefits ...............................................................................................9

Polishing Your Image ............................................................................................................ 9

Reduce Stress...................................................................................................................... 10

Connecting to Here and Now ............................................................................................. 10

Where and How to Meditate .............................................................................12

How to Meditate ....................................................................................................................... 13

Hit the Habit, not Yourself .................................................................................................. 13

Going Further....................................................................................................................... 14

Simple as Breathing .........................................................................................15

Sighs ..................................................................................................................................... 15

Count to Ten......................................................................................................................... 16

Don’t Think too Much .......................................................................................17

Focus .................................................................................................................18

Seeing More Clearly..........................................................................................19

Easing Tension in Your Body ..........................................................................20

** Take Your Time **..........................................................................................22

How Much Do You Need to Do? ......................................................................23

Walking and Meditation ....................................................................................24

Sound Meditation..............................................................................................25

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“Meditation, Motivation and More” by Mary Havelock

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Music Assisted Meditation ...............................................................................26

Part II: Motivation..............................................................................................27

Be More Successful!.........................................................................................27

Take Stock .........................................................................................................30

Sorting Your Goals ...........................................................................................37

How to Achieve Your Goals .............................................................................39

Doers and Talkers!............................................................................................41

Watch the Winners............................................................................................43

Sound and Vision .................................................................................................................... 43

Kick Off Before You get Kicked .......................................................................44

Part III: More ......................................................................................................46

Tested Tips and Techniques............................................................................46

How to Prepare and Present a Talk .................................................................47

A Simple Planning Strategy .............................................................................49

Taming the Telephone ......................................................................................51

The Verbal Business Card ...............................................................................53

Using the Internet .............................................................................................54

Afterword ...........................................................................................................56

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“Meditation, Motivation and More” by Mary Havelock

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About the Author – Mary Havelock

Mary Havelock has two young children.

She and her husband used to work for the same large corporation.

They planned that Mary should stay home when their son was born and they

could get along with just the one salary.

Then, their daughter arrived and they had greater pressure on their finances and lifestyle.

Mary and Keith have used motivation techniques through their working lives and found them very useful.

The meditation and other procedures that Mary explains in this book have

helped them and people they know to cope with the increasing pressures of

modern life.

Mary is not a trained teacher and the material she presents is from

experience, not formal training.

She said that they are both now happier and better focused, free of

unreasonable worries and enjoying every day more.

She hopes that this material will be equally helpful for you and your family.

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Part I: Meditation

Why Meditate?

When a friend suggested to me that I should try meditation, some negative

feelings came to the surface in my mind:

• I thought that it was associated with some religion that I knew little

about.

• I felt that I did not need it because I had regular sessions at the gym, and my small son and husband kept me very active when I wasn’t

rushing around at work.

• I just didn’t have any time for it!

Then, my friend told me some of the benefits which she had got from

meditation.

Like us, she and her partner worked long hours and had a busy social life.

But, she had been looking for some way to reduce the effects of stress on

her body and their relationship.

She said that meditation was:

9 Inexpensive

9 Suitable for almost everyone, whatever their physical condition

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9 Easy to fit into the busiest schedule (that was a real surprise to me!) 9 Something that I could start without a lot of preparation

9 Something which might produce some benefits in weeks rather than months or years.

9 Not tied to any belief system.

I am very grateful that my friend suggested that I try

meditation, although she was concerned that I might

start to think she was a bit weird.

My own experience has shown there are other benefits

to this as well.

Meditation can help to put you in better control of your

own emotions.

It can also help you to get more enjoyment from the

positive aspects of your life.

If you do it regularly, it will help you to reduce the effects of stress and other negative influences on your physical well-being.

Many people have reported that meditation helped them deal with the effects of serious illnesses.

Now, let’s go, together, through the simple steps needed to bring those

benefits into your life.

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The Core Benefits

While it will require some minor adjustments to set up even short meditation sessions in your current schedule, I believe that you will soon experience benefits that will show the effort is worthwhile.

One major improvement will be when you see how meditation can help you

to better control and influence your internal conversation.

This can give you more control over two major factors that negatively affect our level of happiness and even our health:

1) A negative self-image and

2) accepting high levels of stress as normal in our society.

Most of us have to deal with plenty of negative influences in our professional and personal lives. The next section will help you to overcome current and past negative conditioning.

Polishing Your Image

Many of us have been conditioned to believe that we should never expect to have a better life than we have now. We may have been taught from an

early age that whatever bad things happen, it’s our fault.

That’s why you might hear some of your friends say, “I’ve always been

hopeless at that!” Downplaying their abilities and potential in that way is not modesty, it’s just an excuse. Often, they could change their success rate in that activity with a little extra effort and self-confidence.

But, those comments almost ensure that they’ll never improve in that area

either.

That negativity can increase their internal stress and unhappiness which will affect everyone around them over time.

Even people that have achieved great material success, or were brought up

with access to every benefit that wealthy parents could give them,

sometimes make themselves and those around them unhappy because of

their negative self-image.

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You should see, over time, a distinct improvement in how you handle the

upsets and disappointments which are part of everyday life.

The degree of happiness in our lives is closely related to how we feel about ourselves.

Reduce Stress

We all have a fight-or-flight response which

developed among our earliest ancestors – those

that survived long enough to produce our

forefathers anyway!

In our urban environment, that response is often

triggered by relatively trivial hassles that we have.

It might be a reckless driver that cuts us off on our

way to work or our boss putting the blame on us

for something which was not our doing.

Many of us react strongly to the smallest triggers

and there are plenty of them. Our bodies and our mental health can be

affected over time by these constant calls on the fight/flight response.

You will probably see some improvement in how you handle small upsets

after only a short while, provided you are consistent.

Meditation is not the universal answer to every doubt and upset but it can help.

Connecting to Here and Now

Many people get the impression that meditation is intended to remove them

from the stressful situation that they are in to a “higher plane’ and a carefree existence.

But, meditation is actually a means of clearing obstructions from your

thinking and helping you to focus better on the positive aspects of your life so that you are better able to handle the stresses and disappointments which we all have.

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When you use the exercises and suggestions that I provide in this book for a while, you should find that you see your life and relationships in a more

positive way.

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Where and How to Meditate

The meditation exercises that I explain in this book are

simple and short. I am not a professional teacher – I am

just sharing what I feel have been the most beneficial

for me and people that I know.

They are what I, along with family and friends, use

because they fit in with our varied, busy lives.

I recommend that you discuss meditation with your

doctor before you do any of the exercises here. It is just common-sense.

Your doctor will be able to advise you because they will be aware of your

general health and medical history. Never take chances with your health.

You won’t need any special clothing or equipment. You may want to try them first when you have some space and privacy.

The only other requirement is that you should choose the exercises which

you can expect to complete without interruption.

After you have gained a little insight and confidence, you will be doing some of them during your lunch hour, while watching your partner’s favorite

television show or while listening to someone present a report!

Some teachers suggest that some of the very simple exercises can be used

to help keep stress down while you are waiting for a traffic light to change, but I don’t recommend that.

I think that driving in many areas requires our full, undivided attention. Many accidents are caused by unexpected circumstances.

I believe that regular meditation will improve your ability to cope with the stress and effort required to drive safely.

And, if you are driving a reasonable distance, a short stop, a little exercise and a few minutes meditation would definitely help you to get to your

destination in better shape.

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“Meditation, Motivation and More” by Mary Havelock

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How to Meditate

The first couple of times you do an exercise, I suggest that you sit in a

comfortable chair with a firm back and seat. Make sure that your feet are flat on the floor and that your knees are bent at right angles.

Do not cross your legs as this can interfere with blood circulation and, over time, may lead to serious problems.

Keep your arms loose, either hanging down or resting lightly on your knees.

Don’t cross them over your chest because you want your breathing to be

regular and unrestricted.

I don’t recommend that you do any meditation while lying down unless you

have to for medical reasons. This makes it harder for you to complete your exercise without drifting off to sleep.

This will probably reduce the benefits of the meditation, unless your goal was to use it to help you sleep better.

Don’t over-do your meditation. I seem to get the best results from

consistency rather than making the sessions longer.

Keep your sessions short and focused. This helps to keep you connected with your current surroundings so that you can answer the phone or soothe a

crying child.

Hit the Habit, not Yourself

If you want to use meditation to help break a bad habit, it’s important to focus on positive aspects.

I know people that have, for instance, tried to re-enforce their efforts to diet within their meditation sessions. But, what seems to happen is that by filling their mind with negative thoughts and images of flab, decayed teeth etc,

they downgrade their own self-image. It’s like they start blaming themselves for being weak and unable to reduce their eating or giving up sugary snacks.

I’m sure that they could get better results if they focused on the benefits of feeling healthier, having sweeter breath and more cash after giving up their snacks rather than the negative images.

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“Meditation, Motivation and More” by Mary Havelock

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Going Further

If you want to develop your knowledge and your usage of meditation

techniques, seek out a qualified, reputable teacher that will guide you and be on hand when you try longer sessions.

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Simple as Breathing

You’re almost ready for your first meditation

exercise.

I want you to focus on your breathing. This exercise

can help us to improve how we breathe so that we

get more benefit from each breath.

Sighs

Have you ever sighed deeply and immediately felt a little better? It works for many people and is so simple.

Try it – three or four deep sighs is plenty. The effect is not long-lasting but it’s a good way to use a spare moment. And, when you notice the benefit you get, you can do it again straight away if you have the time.

You can get the same effect with a deep yawn. That was

recommended to me some years ago as a quick way to

increase the amount of air, especially oxygen, I was

taking in.

This is not something you should do in company because the other people

may think your sigh or yawn is a negative reaction to their presence or

conversation.

Although we’ve been doing it all our lives, many people don’t breathe well.

We take short, shallow breaths and we hold our bodies in positions which

constrict the flow of air to and from our lungs.

Many of us also smoke, which doesn’t help.

Good breathing means taking in enough air with each breath to really fill our lungs. You can feel the effect by lightly placing your hand on your belly. If you don’t notice any increase in pressure there, then you are only taking

shallow breaths which don’t get below the top part of your lungs.

It’s not essential for your breaths to be all of the same length. Try to make the exhale longer than the inhale.

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The most important factor is that you remain as relaxed as possible.

Count to Ten

This is your first real meditation. It is simple to do, but not many people find it all that easy when they first try it.

For your first few sessions, do the exercise when you have a bit of privacy and can expect not to be interrupted for the few minutes it will take.

Sit yourself in a comfortable chair with a firm back.

Now, you just focus on your breathing.

Count each breath as you inhale and then, slowly, exhale.

Concentrating on those breaths will help our mind to switch away from the

troubles of the day for a short while.

But, it probably won’t happen straight away because your mind is following the pattern you’ve set up over a period of years. So, thoughts about your

lunch appointment or your shopping list will probably intrude during the first sessions.

That’s normal. Just start your count again … and again, however many times it takes.

We are not used to concentrating on something as simple as our breathing

for any length of time. We want to be doing and experiencing more

important or interesting things all the time.

But, this simple exercise will deliver noticeable benefits if you just stick with it as you progress from being only able to focus for, say, five breaths until you can do it for up to five minutes at a time.

With experience, you’ll find that you can do this exercise almost any time when your active participation is not required – while waiting for a plane or during a boring presentation.

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Don’t Think too Much

With the constant bombardment of images and sounds

during almost every waking moment, plus the relentless

increase in the demands of the workplace, it’s little wonder

that most of us find it harder than ever to switch off and let

our mind rest.

One effect of this is when people start talking to themselves.

Many other people have a constant flow of mostly useless thoughts rushing

through their minds almost every waking moment.

Meditation can help us to break out of that pattern, which is growing more powerful every year as media and advertising experts find new ways to push their messages into our heads.

Just pausing long enough for a sigh or a yawn before you start your next

task (starting the car or answering the phone) can give your mind a chance to change gear rather than just overlaying demands of the new task over

those of what you were doing previously.

If you always rush to answer the phone on the first ring, give yourself, and the caller, a couple of rings to collect your thoughts before answering.

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Focus

In your first exercise, you concentrated on the movement of your breath.

Each exercise calls for you to focus on something. That might be a word,

object or action.

You’ve probably heard or seen someone in real life or a movie, chanting a

word, such as, “Om” or even “Aah” while they are meditating.

At other times, people will focus their attention on an object such as a candle or a flower.

Instead of focusing on your breath, you could focus on the separate actions as you walk steadily to the shop or a friend’s house.

It’s important that you keep your focus through the exercise. If you let

yourself be distracted, then you should repeat the session at a convenient time. Only completed sessions should be counted because you will get little benefit from stop-start sessions.

But, don’t worry about having some sessions broken by other events or

people. That’s almost unavoidable from time to time.

Don’t focus too intensely on the object, sound or actions. You are trying to achieve a closer, more relaxed connection with your mind and body.

Don’t strain or push yourself to the point where you start to become almost hypnotized. That’s something to avoid unless you have experienced

professional help ready to support you.

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“Meditation, Motivation and More” by Mary Havelock

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Seeing More Clearly

An exercise that has been reported to have significant benefits for many

people in varied situations is called creative visualization.

Some people use this to give themselves a break from a particularly stressful day by filling their mind with the sights and feelings of being in more

pleasant surroundings, such as on a warm, tropical beach or some peaceful, natural woodland for just a few minutes.

To get the full benefit from this type of exercise, you need to “feel” the experience and “hear” the sounds that you would if you were really there,

not just see the scene like it was a piece of colorful wallpaper in your mind.

This technique has also been used very successfully by high profile athletes when they are preparing for major events.

They mentally see themselves actually doing every part of the upcoming

event, which helps them to reinforce for their subconscious their ability to succeed when they actually take part in the game.

You cannot only use this method to help yourself prepare for sporting events, but also for interviews, presentations, exams or important social occasions.

This is, of course, not actually meditation but I mention it here for two

reasons:

1) It shows that the technique works in the real world.

2) This extra use for the technique, when you have some experience and are comfortable with it, may be something that you will try and find

very useful.

I have used it myself when preparing presentations to people that I work

with and important new clients.

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“Meditation, Motivation and More” by Mary Havelock

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Easing Tension in Your Body

This exercise can help you to reduce the tension which has built up in various parts of your body.

Until you try this, you may not even be aware of the level

of tension that is affecting various areas. That’s because

we become used to having a tight scalp or tension in our

chest which may be restricting our breathing.

While sitting comfortably, close your eyes and focus for a

few seconds on each area of your whole body, one after

the other.

Start with your scalp and forehead. You may be surprised to feel an itch or tightness there that you weren’t consciously aware of.

Mentally loosen the tight area.

Then, only when you are ready move your focus to the lower part of your

head.

Many of us go through the day with our jaw clenched or tension in the top of our neck.

Encourage your jaw and neck to relax, and then focus on your shoulders and arms.

Then, it’s the turn of your chest and the area around your shoulder blades.

When you feel they are relaxed, focus on the soft tissue area of your belly and also your lower back.

The areas which have the most built-up tension will vary from person to

person.

Now, concentrate on your hips and the upper part of your legs.

Then, you can move your focus to the lower part of your legs and your feet, one of the most important, hard-working and under-valued parts of our

bodies.

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Some people who are comfortable with using mental images, find that the

process which I’ve just described can be more effective if they mentally

massage each area that is under stress while they focus on it. Some people mentally blow the tension away.

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“Meditation, Motivation and More” by Mary Havelock

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** Take Your Time **

When you start doing these exercises, they will probably feel strange.

Take your time and don’t rush any of the stages.

You have to train your body to these new habits.

Rushing through them will mean that you take longer to become comfortable

doing the exercises.

It may also reduce or eliminate the benefits that you can get from doing the exercises properly.

After you have absorbed the new techniques, you will take less time doing

them, just as that happens when you learn anything new.

But, please remember that it’s not a race – it’s a reward you give yourself, so take enough time to enjoy it!

Your body will thank you.

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“Meditation, Motivation and More” by Mary Havelock

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How Much Do You Need to Do?

Everyone’s personal situation is different.

Some of you may find it difficult to fit even short sessions into your schedule and, of course, most of us have that sort of day from time to time.

Each of the exercises that I describe has its own benefits and demands on

your time. So, try each of them when you can and don’t avoid the longer

ones because the benefits they offer might be very valuable to you.

Some people use their busy schedule as an excuse for delaying or avoiding

their first attempts at meditation. That’s really counter-productive because the negative effects of their current lifestyle continue to impact even more on them.

When you start to see the improvements that you get, you’ll probably find

the time you need to continue doing the exercises which you find most

effective for your situation.

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Walking and Meditation

There’s no problem for most people to combine meditation

with a walk.

This won’t work as well if you have to cross several busy

roads or dodge cyclists or skate-boarders every few steps –

those things would be too distracting.

When the circumstances are favorable, you can add to the

obvious health benefits of your walk with a variation of the

previous exercise.

Instead of squeezing tension from the various parts of your

body in turn, you can focus on the different actions and

effects your body goes through during your walk.

You might do your Sigh exercise at the start of your walk to help relax you and help your mind to move its focus from what has been happening during

that day to your walk.

You probably know that you need to maintain a reasonable walking pace,

consistent with your state of health, to get the most benefit from your

exercise.

Mentally scanning each action and its effects during your walk should also improve the overall results you get from your exercise. But, this may require you to walk a little slower than you usually do the first few times you add meditation to your walk.

Some people try to coordinate their breathing cycle with the actions of their legs but this is not necessary.

As you walk, focus on your shoulders, then try to ease any tightness in your stomach, hips and legs in their turn.

Loosen the swing of each leg in turn.

Feel each breath and try to ease its path through your body.

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Sound Meditation

This exercise uses the repetition of a sound, like

“Om”, as its point of focus.

Begin when you are seated comfortably. You may sit

cross-legged on the floor if that feels okay for you.

Make sure that the blood circulation through your legs

is not restricted and that your back is straight so that

you can breathe freely.

Rest your hands in your lap with both hands lightly clasped together.

Most people close their eyes which, they say, helps them to focus on the

exercise and have less chance of being distracted by other things in the

room.

Focus on your voice as you slowly repeat the sound you decided to use for

the exercise.

When, inevitably, your mind switches focus to other things such as your

appointments later in the day or what you will have for your evening meal, gently bring it back to where you are absorbed in just the sound.

After they have used this sort of meditation for a while, many people say

that it’s become the one which they feel helps them the most.

That can make the time and number of sessions that you need to learn to do it well very worthwhile.

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“Meditation, Motivation and More” by Mary Havelock

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Music Assisted Meditation

Many people play soothing music or special recordings of waves rolling

through an ocean, heavy rain, a bird song or other sounds which they find

helpful.

Some recordings have special tones embedded with the recognizable sounds

which are claimed to help the process of meditation.

There are some which the producers claim will help you to improve your

performance in sports, business or social activities or help you deal with bad habits or attitudes.

I have tried some of the basic relaxation tapes but found the music was more of a distraction to me. I feel that I get better results using the self-directed exercises which I explain in this book.

After trying a couple of different recordings from different sources, each for a few weeks, without much improvement, I had no interest in trying the more

intense and, generally, much more expensive programs.

But, you might find it worthwhile to try this approach. I suggest that you discuss this with friends and, especially, your doctor before investing time and money to buy recordings or computer software.

You may be able to borrow some recordings from your local Public Library for long enough to evaluate their possible beneficial effect on you.

The major music stores will probably have some recordings of this type, but you will find a greater range of these recordings in specialist record stores.

If you have a “New Age” shop nearby that caters for people interested in

astrology, and similar topics, you will probably find that the staff have some knowledge of the different offerings while the staff at the main-stream

outlets usually won’t have any information except what is on the cover of the CD or DVD.

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Part II: Motivation

Be More Successful!

I guess that you’ve seen headlines like this one many

times?

Most people want to be more successful but their