Finding the Love You Want HTML version
Finding the Love You Want
strongest traits of your parents, both good and bad. You will then be subconsciously attracted
to people with similar traits. This is not a problem for the good traits, but it can be a big
problem for the bad ones.
For instance, let's say that your father had a number of good traits, including intelligence,
strength, humor and so on. However, he tended to be emotionally distant and unavailable. A
woman who grew up in this environment would tend to find intelligent, strong, humorous,
emotionally unavailable men the sexiest men on the planet! It's all good except for that one
fatal flaw. Sound familiar?
Similarly, if a man grew up with a warm, loving and giving mother who also happened to be
insecure and needy, what kind of women might he be drawn to?
It is important to note that you are not limited to being attracted to the traits of the parent of the
opposite sex. Your subconscious image can be a combination of either or both parents.
Finding Love Exercise – Your Parents' Negative Traits
Think about your parents' negative traits. In fact, write them down. When you
have the list of negative traits from both parents, see if there is any commonality
with your past relationships. You may be surprised (even horrified).
As long as you are strongly attracted to people with the negative traits of your parents, your
relationships will tend to be unsatisfying and unhappy, if not painful and doomed.
Unfortunately, it doesn't end there. Next, I will share a radical concept with you that you won't
find anywhere else. I will share how you can actually cause your partner to take on the
negative traits of your parents, even if he or she doesn't originally have them! This can often
lead to the failure of an otherwise wonderful relationship.
Marrying Your Parents and Recreating Your Parents
We already talked about how you are attracted to people with the same negative traits as your
parents. I will now describe how you can cause your partner to take on the negative traits of
your parents. This can happen due to your oversensitivity and over-reactivity to any behavior
that even slightly seems like your parent's negative behavior. Let's see how this works.
I'm going to start by setting up an ideal scenario where you find a partner who is nothing like
© 2009 Stefan Gonick, All rights reserved