Feminology- Woman abuse by Bassam. Imam - HTML preview
Download the book in PDF, ePub, Kindle for a complete version.
-If for some reason the district attorney’s office doesn’t pursue the case, legally you have the right to know why. If you’re in disarray and feel that you’ve been cheated contact victim’s services, social services, or a woman’s rights or women’s victims group or organization and tell them your story. They may be able to direct you to better action.
-Remember, the criminal justice system is, as a whole overflowing with cases. Depending on the jurisdiction up to 90 percent of criminal cases are plea bargained. It’s at least that high for civil cases. But don’t let that dissuade you. You have a right to be treated fairly, justly and are ideally guaranteed due process in your case.
-Understand that if the case goes to trial you may have to face your ‘former abuser’. You may also have to relive what you’ve been through on the witness stand. Your abuser’s defense attorney may be a man or a woman. His/her job is to defend the defendant and to try to poke giant holes in your testimony or to obliterate it. If you go this far, be brave, forthright, honest tenacious and unrelenting.
-If there are witnesses including neighbours tell the police.
-Request a personal copy of the police report for future reference.
-If the police see no proof whatsoever, there’s a chance your abuser may not be arrested but just told to leave your domicile. Laws vary from one jurisdiction to another. Furthermore, due process applies to accusers and the accused, otherwise, ever single accusation even bogus and preposterous ones may result in arrests and convictions. Due process is for the greater good of society. Nevertheless, never be dissuaded from calling the police. They’re trained to observe body language and behaviour relevant to crime. Domestic violence is a crime.
-Policewomen can have a calming effect on domestic abuse victims. They’re often called in as part of a pair or team in many domestic abuse 911 calls.
-Even if you don’t or can’t get yourself to call the
police, if things get out of hand one or more of your neighbours may call the police, as happens on countless occasions. They don’t need your permission to call for help.
-Your neighbours may call the police because of the raucous too, not realizing or maybe in some cases not caring what happens to you and your partner.
-Remember, physical, sexual and mental abuse is a choice.
There are Domestic abuse cases that are peculiar and sensitive. You may have to take extra measures or circuitous measures to ensure your safety and to see justice. Policemen are not immune to being abusers:
-Abusers often come home from work pissed off as hell and with an attitude. But this category of abusers carries a gun, a badge and can arrest people, even his partner.
-Domestic abuse amongst police families is less often reported than in non-police families. Wives or partners of policemen may be more inclined to fear the law.
-The victim likely assumes that the officers who show up may personally know her partner.
-The victim may believe that the case will never go to court; the ole boys network.
-She may feel that the main players (in particular at the police level) of the criminal justice system will be hostile and antagonistic towards her.
-Many police departments don’t have a specific policy for dealing with domestic violence by their officers. Often, the ‘punishment’ may be counselling.
-Policemen who abuse their partners know how to intimidate a person. They know how to appear menacing without striking a person. In their line of work they deal with many common criminals, and some are tough. They need to hold their ground.
-Policemen carry firearms, know how to properly use a night stick and can painfully restrain and/or take down a person without leaving any marks, bruises or breaks. They’re trained to take down dangerous criminals; in comparison taking down a defenceless woman is a breeze.
-The abuser may be well-versed in the loopholes of the criminal justice system.
-The abuser has a good knowledge of the law regarding domestic violence. Chances are the victim is at a loss in this arena.
-A very hostile abuser may threaten to seriously harm his wife and claim that the law won’t help her.
-He may remind her that the same officers who work the beat are his beer or bowling buddies. He knows them quite well; ‘they won’t betray me because I’m one of them’.
-A police officer is thought to be a trusted and respectable member of the community; hard to believe he beats his wife or partner.
-The loss of a single policeman is a loss to the community.
-Neighbours may be apprehensive about calling the police. They may believe that the police will reveal their identities to the abuser, who happens to be their neighbour.
-The courtroom work group has likely seen the offender as a witness; they know him they don’t know her.
-The abuser may get ‘inside information’ on his partner’s case and how it’s proceeding
-A wife or partner may be weary of calling the police and filing a criminal complaint against her partner; she may not want him to be suspended or lose his job.
-If a woman is forced to stay in the town or city it’ll be difficult to hide from her abuser. As long as he carries a badge this is likely so.
-The jurisdiction of a police officer does not extend state-wide. If you fear for your safety and nothing concrete has been done to protect you leave the city; go to a trusted family member or friend.
Regarding police officers, the aforementioned basic facts are referring only to policemen who abuse their partners. There are countless policemen and policewomen who risk their life and limb to help protect our communities. They have a very stressful and dangerous job to do. As a whole, they keep their stressors at the workplace. When they come home they’re good partners.
Most policemen would never abuse their partner. They’re outstanding members of the community and rightfully so. We need them to help maintain order, when we want protection and when we have a complaint; something as trivial as a loud neighbour keeping us up late at night.
-Go over the head of the district attorney by contacting the governor, state’s attorney general and the mayor of your ‘former city’. Contact victim’s organizations both within your state and on a national level.
When and if the smoke clears and you’re up to it convey your story through the means you feel comfortable with (if you choose to); internet, website or blog, newspaper, television, write a book, etc.
As a general rule women who kill their abusers are not treated fairly in the criminal justice system.
Although she’s supposed to be innocent until proven guilty she must clearly show or prove that she was systematically abused with documentation and often through photos and she may have to prove that she was in imminent danger at the time of killing.
Some victims are so demoralized, put-down, beaten down, terrified of their abusers, and at the time of the abuse are enraged they kill their abuser while he’s asleep (non- confrontational circumstance).
Killing an abuser while he’s sound asleep or not attacking or threatening a victim at the moment will likely make her case more difficult.
By chance, if she’s a primary beneficiary to an insurance policy this too can make her case more difficult. Unfortunately, there are women who murder their husbands or abusers for unjustifiable reasons.
The weapon of choice of killing a sleeping husband tends to be a gun. Bludgeoning to death takes more time; there’s always a fear that the abuser may awaken and be able to overpower the attacker.
But most killings of abusers (75 percent) occur during confrontational periods. The kitchen is the most dangerous room to be in during a serious domestic violence incident. Weapons are within arms’ reach, anything from a kitchen appliance to a scolding pot of boiling water or worse yet oil.
A documented history of violence, a noticeable size and strength differential and proof of a dangerous confrontation where the abused person’s safety was in jeopardy work to her advantage.
Every state in the union allows the defendant to bring forth evidence of past abuse. Battered woman’s syndrome is real. But not all women kill their abusers. Statistically, the number is insignificant. During most domestic confrontations the abuser wins.
In the mid-1990’s in Kansas a woman fought back against her abuser. The fight got very ugly. As the confrontation ensued a vicious struggle for a gun developed.
The abuser somehow got hold of the gun, placed it into his partner’s vagina and then fired. Miraculously, the woman didn’t die. Unfortunately, she ended up with massive wiring in her body. She was literally mutilated from within.
The judge ruled that time already served for the defendant was sufficient. It was a vicious fight and things got out of hand.
But as I see it, as soon as the abuser got hold of the gun he didn’t have to shoot his partner, let-alone shove the gun and then shoot her in the vagina.
Marva Wallace, a 44 year-old woman (in 2002) was released (pending a new trial) after serving 17 years in a California prison for fatally shooting her abusive husband in 1984.
Prior to 1992 expert testimony concerning battered woman syndrome was not submitted at trial.
The 1992 California law allowed for women convicted and serving time prior to this date to use the battered woman syndrome defense.
There was no doubt as to Marva’s enduring horrible abuse by her husband. It was documented that she was beaten on numerous occasions with visible injuries and bloodied.
In addition, her husband (a drug addict) was a control freak; he didn’t allow her to work and grossly ‘detached her’ from her family. He neglected her, didn’t help her out financially. Worse yet, he forced her to perform a sexual act in front of their toddler daughter. Marva shot her husband a short while later.
Marva received a new trial and testimony from her battering was allowed to be introduced. Shockingly, she was permitted to plead guilty to a lesser charge (voluntary manslaughter). She was sentenced to 8 years of time served. So in a sense, her criminal record wasn’t cleared; justice in this case wasn’t served.
Lesbian couples aren’t immune to domestic violence. The statistics pertaining to violence in domestic settings is 25 to 35 percent; it’s the same for lesbian couples. Lesbian domestic violence cuts across all racial, economic and social strata.
As with heterosexual relationships one partner is usually the dominant one the other recessive. This ensures a relationship where one of the partners is emotionally and often- times economically more powerful than her partner. But with lesbian couples, physical strength and size doesn’t guarantee safety. Many lesbian abusers are physically smaller and weaker than their partners.
Power is a trust, regardless of whether we’re referring to a relationship, work or other situation.
In lesbian domestic abuse one partner tries to gain or maintain control of the other partner through abuse and/or intimidation; physical, emotional and/or sexual. Economic (money and finances) coercion may be used against the victim also.
The abuse cycle is usually the same as that for heterosexual abuse; escalation or tension building, abuse or battery and then resolution or I love you stage. Violence in lesbian relationships is a serious issue in the lesbian community.
Women can hit and harm other women; they can get really nasty with each other. Have you ever seen two women fight? No wonder they’re called cat fights.
When both partners are of equal or similar strength and they often quarrel or fight, this can be referred to as a violent relationship or a violent couple. However, when one of the partners is obviously weaker than the other and is being hurt at a disproportionate level and is walking on eggshells much of the time she’s a victim. It makes no difference that her abuser is a woman like her. Her body doesn’t know the difference.
In other lesbian relationships both partners appear to be of equal physical strength, however one of the partners may have a nasty/aggressive personality. The ‘butch’ does not necessarily have to be the aggressor. Furthermore, money and ownership of the domicile can also be used as a weapon.
A woman who hasn’t ‘come out’ will likely be apprehensive about calling the police. The victim may want to keep her relationship a secret at all costs, even if it means being abused every so often.
Initially, some women get into lesbian relationships with the belief that it’s unimaginable that a woman could ever abuse another woman that she loves. Many of these women are caught off guard. Furthermore, some of these same women can’t fathom being viewed as a sex object by a woman partner.
Abusers in lesbian relationships have learned to be aggressive or to deal with frustrations through acts of aggression, directed at their partner. Victims may have learned to seek out aggressive woman as partners.
The level of harm done to a victim can be equal to the harm done in a heterosexual relationship. The weapons; physical, psychological, sexual and inanimate objects are the same and in the case of the latter are within reach.
One lesbian partner can rape another:
-She can pin her down or restrain her and force her partner to do what she orders her to do
-She can use a dildo or other ‘surrogate penis’ to punish her partner
-She can force her partner to touch her wherever she wants to be touched
=She can touch her partner wherever she wants to
-She can force her partner to perform oral sex in one or more places
-She can perform oral sex on her partner by force
-She can force her partner to perform unnatural and degrading sexual acts
-She can talk dirty and say horrible things to her partner during the act
-She can threaten her partner if she doesn’t obey her every command
In cases of heterosexual domestic violence the police have the option of arresting or asking the male partner to leave the domicile. In lesbian domestic violence cases things aren’t that clear cut unless there are visible signs of injury.
Furthermore, the police are generally not trained to intercede in lesbian couple violence. Even the policewoman at the scene will likely be a heterosexual. If not, she’ll probably keep her mouth shut; stay in the closet.
An aggressive partner may or may not have a substance abuse problem. Substance abuse is often an aggravating factor but not a cause. The underlying personality is of prime importance.
If the victim has kept her lesbian lifestyle a secret the abuser may threaten to ‘out her’. This is a weapon that’s not available in a heterosexual relationship.
Outing can occur after calling the police, filing a criminal complaint, going to court, seeking a restraining order, being sent to the emergency room or escaping to a shelter.
Most social services for domestic violence are geared for heterosexual women. Furthermore, there’s much denial and silence in the lesbian community about the problem of lesbian domestic violence.
But as horrible as domestic abuse can be, for the most part, the vast majority of marriages and partner relationships are of two individuals who initially decided to get together.
Sometimes there is deceit though.
But this doesn’t negate the fact that many marriages around the world aren’t the result of two consenting persons, or even adults for that matter.
Forced marriage is a sad phenomenon in our world. Many young girls, sometimes pre-teens are set up by their families to marry men who are often decades older or guys who are white– haired. The girl or young woman’s permission isn’t sought.
This is a problem in Africa, especially sub-Sahara, parts of the Middle East and also Asia.
A case in point involves an 11 year-old Malawi girl named Mwaka whose father Mapendo Simbey sold her off to pay a bill.
Mwaka first became a servant to her new husband’s first wife. Mwaka was to be his bed partner (second wife). Her parents didn’t console her. Her husband was 30 years older than her.
Mwaka was one of the luckier ones. She fled her husband’s home and was miraculously taken back by her parents six months later.
In February of 2005, a 23 year-old Turkish woman who divorced her husband by a forced marriage was shot in the head three times by her brother. This is an example of an honour killing.
This practice tends to occur regularly in remote villages. Pakistan’s remote villages are one of the hotspots for this area. Sometimes, young women who are citizens of western nations are also forced into marriage.
I personally knew an elderly man who aimed a rifle at his daughter because she refused to marry the man whom he had chosen for her. It was an arranged marriage with a dowry and other transactions and agreements; without her being present and her consent given of course.
This young woman was perhaps in her late teens. Regarding the rifle her enraged father gave her two choices, ‘marry him or I’ll kill you right here and now’. She accepted the marriage. As far as I know she’s still married to the same man. This event occurred over three decades ago.
In arranged marriages there’s generally more leeway for a woman to say no. Things are generally calmer.
In forced marriages extreme violence, verbal reprimands and even honour killings can occur. The female involved is thereby considered a piece of property, a bargaining chip of sorts.
If she’s forced to marry and never loves him and doesn’t like ‘his touch’ it’s safe to assume that every time he fondles or makes love to her, it’s sexual assault. This of course is assuming that the woman involved is an adult. If she’s a pre- teen it’s child rape.
Problems with forced child marriages include:
-Obliteration of her childhood
-Destruction of her education
-She must grow up really fast
-Bleeding, losing one’s virginity and not understanding what’s going on
-Crying and pleading to no avail
-Initially, some kind of force and/or intimidation is used
-Serving the first wife (if applicable) who’s older than her, or becoming a servant to the family of her new husband
-STDs (HIV is prevalent in sub-Saharan Africa)
-Painful, dangerous pregnancies
-Vaginal injuries as a result of being penetrated or raped at such an early age
-Being tossed out of the house at a later period. Virginity is a prize, when she loses it and has been broken in a replacement may be sought after
-Many men in these same cultures will only marry a virgin.
It’s usually no consolation that she broke her virginity in marriage. Sometimes even if she’s raped, she’s still blamed.
-A lack of national and international help. World leaders don’t consider this a problem to tackle. The vast majority of the victimized females are from Third World countries
-Even females who are citizens of western nations generally do not receive the help they need. Most go undetected.
-The husband is often decades older; sometimes he is of senior citizen age. There have been cases of men over 80 years- old ‘purchasing’ child brides
-If she struggles, the new husband may become violent or tell her father. Either way, she’ll likely be harmed
-Refusal or being a bad wife may lead to familial or worse yet village ostracism; in many cases even the older women will turn against her
-Her father may sell her off to guarantee chastity (purity and no premarital sex)
The Government of Britain is trying to combat this problem at home. As of September of 2007 the Forced Marriage Unit has rescued 60 children (under age 15) from forced marriages. Almost certainly, this is the tip of the iceberg. There are likely many more forced child marriages in the country. Citizens abroad are more difficult to rescue and repatriate.
Forced marriages are very common in Saudi Arabia. Although in 2005 Saudi Arabia’s top religious authority, Grand Mufti Sheikh Abdul Aziz al-Sheikh banned forced marriages within his country it is still widely practiced.
Although forcing a woman to marry someone or for a woman’s father to force her into marriage is against Sharia (Islamic Law), this horrid practice is based on old cultural practices. Many of the participants ignore their faith or try to twist their beliefs to justify their actions.
These forced marriages are causing a spike in divorces in Saudi Arabia, no wonder.
Many aspects of the culture of the country consider women as sub-human, sometimes at the animal level. One man therein told an acquaintance of mine that women were like slippers (put them on when you need them take them and toss them when you’re done).
A child or a woman forced into marriage usually has no recourse. The authorities work in an extremely misogynistic/sexist/racist environment.
Honour killing of a recalcitrant child bride or young woman bride may go unpunished.
Fathers of these child brides may claim that they have the best interest for her at heart. He wants to keep her chaste and in-line regarding her behaviour. Never mind the monetary or economic gain that he may acquire.
As soon as the husband gets sick of his wife he can toss her out or send her back to her family.
Sustained abuse can wreak havoc on a person. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) can result in physiological and psychological responses that are unpleasant, outright terrifying, antagonistic towards the everyday activities of the person and/or can create additional problems.
Below is a list of some problems and thoughts that a seriously abused woman may have to face. Some of the symptoms and behaviours contradict others. It depends on the particular case and situation:
-Excessively jumpy (exaggerated startle reflex)
-Shortness of breath or hyperventilation
-Excessive number of bad dreams, nightmares or in severe cases night terrors
-Bad or interrupted sleeping habits
-Any pre-existing (before you met your abuser) psychological or psychiatric problem/s will likely re-emerge or if already manifested will likely increase in severity
-In extremely serious cases suicide or self-abuse are possible
-Thoughts of killing your abuser (some victims follow through)
-Fearful of defending yourself
-Intimidated by your abuser’s size and/or level of power
-Poor self-esteem (I’m a nobody, my abuser is right)
-Excessive need to clean the domicile, perfect preparation of the domicile (fear of making a mistake or angering your abuser)
-Dishevelled, messy and possibly unsanitary domicile (have given up, don’t care)
-Talking on the phone, emailing or even texting your abuser causes fear and anxiety
-Feelings of isolation
-No one knows how I feel
-Sustained or major depression (much more intense and sustained than just being bummed out)
-Feeling that you always have to say ‘yes’ when your partner wants sex because you fear him or are apprehensive about angering him; in more serious cases you’re fearful of being raped
-Lack of or limited or highly interrupted concentration
-Excessively worry about your children
-Take your anger and frustrations out on your children
-Knowing that your children have witnessed your abuse
-Feeling confused (what can I or what should I do)
-Asking yourself when or if it (the abuse) will ever end
-Blaming your-self feel guilty (may turn to alcohol and/or drugs; if you smoked before you met your abuser you’re likely to increase your smoking)
-Blaming men in general, blaming all men hating men not wanting to be near or around men, believing that all men are inherently violent and harmful towards women (this belief is intensified if the victim has been abused by other men, especially her father).
-Having delusions that you can actually change your partner (excessive appeasement, giving him much sex, etc.)
-Try to avoid places, actions or activities that remind you of the abuse
-Wanting to leave your abuser
-You say to yourself ‘things were much better in the beginning’ or ‘things were much better before I met him’
-Feel like a punching bag; he strikes you (physically and/or mentally and then you come back for more)
-Dichotomous feelings of love-hate towards your abuser
-My abuser is the center of my life
-All the rules of our relationship are made by my abuser; I can’t break them but he can if he wishes to
-You trivialize the abuse (it’s really not that bad, but he has a good side to him too)
-Deep down inside (in his mind and heart) I know that he loves me
-I know he needs me and he can’t live without me
-He may harm himself or commit suicide if I leave him
-Maybe this is normal (a victim who was raised in an abusive household and has never had a peaceful partner)
-He bought me a nice present
If you’re being abused or know someone who’s being abused be kind and understanding to her. Never blame her even if she keeps coming back to the abuser or stays with him.
Give sound advice. Abuse is wrong and the police must be notified. If you know for a fact that a family member or friend is being abused notify the police and your local social service agency.
Recovery may take some work and time. But in an unending abusive relationship you must first leave. Otherwise, all the counseling in the world won’t help unless your abuser is also counseled and he changes permanently.
-Find a support system; shelter workers, other victims, counseling (there are many counseling services for abuse victims that won’t cost you a dime). It’s important that you get along with those you seek out.
-Convey your story and don’t be ashamed to spill your guts and cry; group therapy is very good. You’ll socialize with other victims and also hear their stories. You’ll also find similarities.
-Make long-term friendships with other victims of abuse. After leaving the shelter and you’ve moved on in your life have get together sessions with your friends; help each other if possible and give each other comfort and good advice
-Understand that things can get better. Now that you’ve left your abusive partner and have forgotten him
-Negate the horrible things that your abuser said about you. Your abuser wasn’t a good person, so why would you believe him. Emotional abuse can’t be seen
-Be thankful to have left your abusive relationship. If you believe in GOD, be thankful to him and keep on praying for more good and that you never have a relationship with an abuser again
-Give yourself sufficient time before finding another partner. You don’t want to hasten a new relationship while you’re on a rebound and still recovering
-Next time around study your potential new partner well.
Look for any signs of emotional, psychological or sexually abusive behaviour. If you find anything disturbing or even if you’re not sure, end it right there and then. Don’t take any chances.
-Be informative. There’s much relevant literature out there; internet (much of it is free), books (bookstores or public libraries), articles, advice from former victims, family members and friends.
-Some abuse victims have more resources than most others. They may seek out additional one-on-one long-term therapy with a clinical psychologist or other professional.
-Most bruises and mild cuts and abrasions heal after time. More serious ones take longer. Some injuries though, may be life-long. In worst case scenarios, lifelong maiming occurs.
While in an extremely abusive relationship it may be quite difficult or impossible to live your life to the fullest and to achieve what you’re capable of. Below is Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs:
Self-Actualization: The highest level in the hierarchy of needs. Personal growth and fulfillment, personal growth and development, morality, creativity, minimal level of prejudice, the opinion of others does not affect the individual’s potential Esteem Needs: Self-Esteem, achievement, status and respect for and by others Love and Belonging Needs: Family, relationships, affection, love, sexual intimacy Safety Needs: Air, personal bodily security, security, protection, family, stability, health, property, law and order Physiological Needs: Food, water, shelter, sleep, sex, excretion, etc.
A woman in an extremely abusive ongoing relationship may not be able to rise up above the lowest of Maslow’s needs (Physiological Needs). Maslow’s work regarding the Hierarchy of Needs was nothing short of genius.
If you are or have been abused look at these needs and try to determine where you stand. These needs can be a general indicator to how much deprivation you’re currently receiving. Maslow believed that a person had to fulfill a lower level to rise to the next one. But DO NOT use the hierarchy stages as diagnosis of any sort. For that, you must see a licensed/qualified practitioner.
Groping in the context of this eBook involves the sexual touching, feeling-up or fondling of another person without his/her consent. Groping is always intrusive.
Groping-like behaviour is illegal and/or taboo in most countries. If performed on a minor it’s likely to be construed as child molestation. If performed on an adult it can be construed as sexual molestation, unlawful sexual touching or other related names depending on where it takes place.
Unlike frotteurism where the person usually uses his or her private parts to rub against another person, groping is more manifest in that the offender uses his/her hands to touch the breasts, buttocks or thighs. Although other body-parts are touched the aforementioned are by far the most commonly violated areas.
The vast majority of groping occurs between a male unto a female.
Groping doesn’t occur in isolated incidents with one violation after another. In societies where groping occurs, crowded places, enclosed areas are hot spots, but groping can also occur outdoors.
Japan and Egypt have a groping problem. In Japan the problem is so prevalent they have a word for this behaviour, chikan. A man who performs this act is also called a chikan. The female counterpart is called a chijo. Crowded subway trains are a favourite hotspot for gropers. The most notorious groping area is the Saikyo line.
Japanese authorities are trying to respond to the groping problem. There are now women-only or women and children only train carts, during rush hours only (at the time of this printing).
The groping problem in Japan does not appear to be abating but may be increasing despite a law-enforcement campaign to crack down on this lewd public behaviour. Furthermore, ‘how to grope’ directions can be found online by Japanese gropers.
Sometimes gropers stand together waiting for the right moment and target to grope.
But there’s another downside to the groping problem in Japan. It was only a matter of time before some devious females took advantage of this social problem.
One type of scenario involves two young women who conspire together to find a target. Once found, one of the young women approaches the man and if needed follows him until the right moment. When the moment arrives she shouts ‘you groped me’! Her accomplice approaches the young woman and the man and then claims that she saw ‘him’ grope her.
Then comes the request for money or else. How many men have had to pay up is a toss-up. No one knows.
The Japanese Criminal Justice System lacks due process. A person accused of any crime, including groping is generally assumed to be guilty, often times with little or no evidence to support an accusation/s.
In a shocking incident a man spent over one and a half years behind bars for allegedly groping a young woman; he was later found to be falsely accused. I don’t know what happened to the accusers. Remember, this is one of the reasons why due process of law is so important. All accusations of groping or any other kind of abuse shouldn’t be automatically believed regardless.
Women can grope too. A 61 year-old Colorado woman named Yukari Miyamae allegedly groped a female Transportation Security Agent at Phoenix’s International Airport. Miyamae is facing a felony count of sexual abuse.
Another groping incident involved a man who groped a 14 year-old girl who was taking a walk with her 6 year-old sister. The incident occurred in San Diego.
Egypt too has a groping problem. The victims are always women. Sexual harassment is commonplace in public, on trains, buses, at work, school or sometimes at the physician’s office.
Groping though, tends to be a particularly pervasive problem on crowded buses and trains.
Most young Egyptian women have been harassed. But the problem is even worse for foreign women. This should be a caution if you’re ‘a foreigner’ planning to visit the country. If you do visit the country it’s best to avoid crowded areas where young men are congregating or appear to have nothing to do.
Government corruption at the highest level down to the police and lower ranks of society is rampant. Even modest hijab– wearing women aren’t immune to groping and harassment.
There are too many poor, unemployed, single men with nothing to do and have no prospects in life. Many young Egyptian men have no chance or prospect for getting married. The government doesn’t care either.
But most Egyptian men, as with other Arab men throughout the Arab world would never dream of groping a woman. Pious religious Muslim men are supposed to lower their gaze and not even shake hands with a non-related woman, let-alone grope her.
Many Egyptian women, like many other Arab women are opting for more material goods than their parents and grandparents.
Even acquiring a small apartment or a room is out of reach for many young unemployed men.
In a recent incident that occurred in December of 2011 a hijabi (Muslim woman who wears a hijab) protester was beaten by police and then had her hijab forcefully removed. In addition she was dragged and her dress was raised so high her stomach and braw were exposed.
Women have accused former Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger of groping them. The incidents allegedly began in the 1970s and spanned some 3 decades.
As of February of 2009 a total of 15 women had accused former Governor Schwarzenegger of groping. The allegations included breast grabbing, buttocks gripping, attempted removal of a bathing suit, pulling a woman onto his lap (without her permission of course), dirty talk.
No official charges have ever been filed against former Governor Schwarzenegger. Some of the complainants claimed to be fearful of public ostracism if they spoke out. Nevertheless, a person in a due process model is considered innocent until proven guilty.
Groping can also involve non-touching. This is called ‘mental groping’. The mental groper uses words to describe what he wants from the victim, rather than actually touching her (I want to touch so and so, or I want you to ... my ...).
Mental groping is a specific sub-type of sexual harassment. The following section shall deal with sexual harassment in a general sense.
Sexual harassment consists of the unwanted, unwarranted and unjustified sexual advances or aggression done through acts and/or words. If sexual harassment is already happening to a person, even ‘elevator eyes’ (the gawking and shifting of a person’s eyes upon another person in a sexual manner) from the harasser is sexual harassment. The foundation for the relationship has already been established. Though if a stranger were to gawk at a woman once or twice and then continue walking it might be impolite but usually the woman shrugs it off or simply ignores it as one of the day’s trivial nuisances.
In the workplace, the sexual harasser is usually a person of superior rank, but can also be a co-worker. If there’s more than one person harassing her she’s probably stressed out as hell.
By far, the majority of victims of sexual harassment are women, but men can also fall victim. It’s often a matter of power and the abuse of power, and disrespect.
At work, sexual favours or other specific behaviours may be a requirement to stay at work or to receive a promotion or a satisfactory work record.
A woman who’s sexually harassed at work may experience the following:
-Frustration (I have to go to work, no one to complain to, no one will listen, I’ll lose my job, my performance record, etc.)
-Raised pulse and blood pressure
-If the harassment is intense and isn’t short-lived PTSD
-Insomnia, interrupted sleep; in extreme cases nightmares or night terrors.
-A woman who’s struggling by, pay check to pay check and can’t leave may suffer an intensification of the aforementioned symptoms, and some. In addition, a woman who’s struggled for years on end, working and studying very hard may have to endure sexual harassment even at the executive or corporate level to maintain her status. Oftentimes the ole boys’ network is difficult to fit into.
Three women complained of unwanted advances from their boss, who happened to be none other than Herman Cain, previous Republican presidential hopeful. The women worked for the National Restaurant Association. The case was settled, and part of this settlement prohibits the details of the case from being made public. Note: A case may be settled to evade a series of headaches for an organization or a person. Herman Cain denied any wrongdoing.
-Having no recourse or action done after filing a complaint can also aggravate the symptoms of being sexually harassed.
Although a 1986 Supreme Court ruling made firms liable (legally responsible) if they permit an environment of sexual harassment this problem hasn’t abated.
Shelley Kanther, a former CBS radio employee claimed that male co-workers guessed her bra size and slapped her on the butt, and uttered sexually derogatory words to her. Kanther claimed that her complaints were ignored and that she was fired for speaking up. The alleged sexual harassment occurred between 2009 and 2010. She has filed a sexual harassment suit against CBS Radio.
Street Sexual harassment (SSH) of women is perhaps the most prevalent of all sexual harassment types. It occurs around the world, and it’s only a matter of degree and frequency. There’s hardly a place where one form of street harassment or another doesn’t occur.
Even pre-teen girls aren’t immune to SSH. Middle-aged men have been noted sexually harassing young girls. This kind of harassment can be quick, persistent, involve groping, whistling or in more serious cases exposing of oneself or masturbation. Rape or attempted sexual assault would be taking it to another stage.
Statistics for SSH can be as high as 90 percent in some countries. Apparently, even in countries where women cover much of their bodies and hair, and are expected to be virgins at the time of marriage, SSH still occurs.
Women and girls may be given advice about not going out alone after dark, keeping a cell phone at hand, calling 911 if needed, to dress conservatively, let it go (ignore it, it’s not that bad), it’s part of being a woman or girl, take self-defense classes.
There appears to be no end in sight for SSH. In fact, in many countries the problem has become acutely worse.
Women are traveling abroad more often and alone, with a partner or with friends. It’s usually nice to see other cultures, countries and lands. But with this greater travel come some possible problems or dangers. Below is an extensive list of things that may be helpful to a woman traveler:
-Do your research beforehand especially if you intend to travel overseas, to a land where you don’t understand the language and you look like a foreigner.
-If you look like a foreigner and there aren’t many of you around in the area, you’ll likely be stared at by men, women, and children. There may be too many stares to properly filter out the bad ones.
-Go to a reputable travel agency. Get recommendations from family and friends. Have your questions pre-written and ask the travel agent about possible dangers and recommended actions pertaining to your traveling.
-Try to take along a language phrase book with the pronunciation of words written out in your language beside the phrases. Try to memorize basic words like ‘help’ ‘go away’ ‘police’, etc.
-Traveling is usually safer when done with persons that you trust.
-Some cultures consider a woman wearing provocative clothing as inviting a groping or even more.
-Countries with corrupt governments usually have corrupt police forces. Dictatorial regimes can also be danger spots. Policemen have been known to sexually assault or rape women coming into their stations to file a complaint.
-In excessively chauvinistic/male dominated cultures a woman walking alone is often considered having loose morals.
-Eye contact in some cultures can mean ‘I like you’ or ‘I want you’. Try not to make extended eye contact or wear shades if you can.
-Look like you know the area well and that you’ve strolled though it before and you know what you’re doing; a person who gawks, stares or indicates amusement and awe may be a chosen target.
-Taking many pictures or downloading images will tell people that you’re likely not from the area, but always keep a fully functional cell phone with you at all times and memorize or save the emergency phone numbers for the area. Remember, many countries do not use 911 for emergency. In addition, many countries don’t have easily accessible pay phones.
-Trekking in isolated areas even with others may be a problem in some countries in remote villages. Although most of the time villagers are very friendly and love to see tourists and new faces, be careful anyway. If you trek on mountains or away from people go in large groups and have a trusted local with you at all times. Furthermore, be prepared for possible medical emergencies.
-Take notice of the dress code of the women in the area. If you hardly see a woman around, it may be better to immediately leave the area. Regarding the former, if they cover their arms, legs and hair, it’s wise to do the same.
-If you see no women in a restaurant/s, that’s probably a cue. If you do see women therein, try to sit near them.
-Ask directions only from women.
-Public transportation; buses or trains packed with young men and especially if there are no women to be seen are off limits, period! Back in the 1980s I heard a story of a western woman who casually took a cab in a Sub-Saharan country. The driver swerved into the desert, stopped his cab and then attempted to rape her. Luckily, she was able to get away.
-If you’re groped or someone tries to touch you in an unlawful manner, shout, scream make a scene, fight back in any way you can.
-If there’s transportation and restaurants that offer female only sections, sit therein. Reserved seats are also a better option.
-Some people have a hard time distinguishing and identifying individuals from a different race. If you visit one of these countries chances are at least some bad guys therein will know this. If you’re assaulted you may not be able to identify the assailant in a police line-up. If it even gets to that point.
-Know where the nearest police station is.
-Take extra precautions if you’re pregnant.
-Free your hands if possible, when strolling through the town or city. A nice small shoulder bag that’s firmly strapped onto your neck is advisable.
-If you can afford it, purchase a package deal, including transportation to and from the airport, a decent hotel, and tours if you like.
-It’s best not to smile at or speak to strange men who approach you.
-Having a headscarf in your bag may be a good idea in case you need to suddenly put it on.
-Especially if you’re visiting a poor country do not wear expensive jewellery, watches or expensive handbags; keep a hold of your cell phone or place it in your pocket.
-France, Spain and Italy have serious problems regarding stray children working for thugs who use them to pick the pockets and snatch the properties of tourists. These children work in groups, are very talented and as soon as they get their merchandise know how to flee. Always be mindful of your wallet and other valuables.
-High tourism countries or areas are very nice and fun to visit unfortunately thieves love to work these same areas.
-An assault can occur in any place. So keep your guard up.
In September of 2009, a Montreal woman named Renée Wathelet, 60, was found stabbed to death in her apartment on an island off the coast of Cancun. She suffered from multiple stab wounds and her throat was cut.
In a more recent case occurring in January of 2011, a Calgary woman named Sheila Nabb, 37, was found beaten and comatose in a first class resort in Mexico.
Although a suspect has been arrested for the crime, he hasn’t gone to trial yet.
-Take special precautions if traveling by cruise ship. Thousands of passengers can be loaded onto a gigantic vessel and then sent off to the waters.
-Cruise ship rapes and thefts do occur at a considerably higher degree than is mentioned. This is a big money industry that keeps this little secret hushed.
-Sexual assault can occur by another passenger or a crew member.
-It’s uncommon for a crew member to be tried and convicted of rape.
-Even pre-teens can be raped aboard a cruise line.
-Some cruise lines do not go through the reporting and investigating of complaints.
-Passengers and crew members aboard a vessel are from all over the world with different cultural backgrounds and beliefs.
-Being out at sea sometimes involves legal obstacles as to jurisdiction; the flag of the vessel, international waters the law of the land the vessel is docked in or is traveling near.
-Bringing a case to trial and fully prosecuting it may be quite difficult.