Feminology- Woman abuse HTML version
Furthermore, he may have a house or apartment key. He may be
granted a temporary right to remove his furniture.
=If there’s no hope, seek a restraining order. If you do,
DO NOT give into the abuser’s pouting (violating the restraining
order). If he harms you thereafter it’ll be more difficult to
make a case; she gave me permission to enter our home. Imagine
what a defence attorney can do with that.
-In extreme cases the abuser may try to limit or severely
restrict your food and water intake. Call the police as soon as
-Although the pain and scars of mental abuse aren’t
manifested as a black eye or bloody nose or broken bone/s, the
pain can equal or exceed that of physical abuse.
-A person in an abusive relationship is in a state of fear
and apprehension much of the time. Your mood and behaviour is
not the precipitator of a violent episode, it’s his. Therefore,
you (the victim) feel like you’re walking a tightrope. The wind
is controlled by the abuser, not you. If you fall, you get a
bitching out and/or a physical punishment.
Sometimes it gets so bad you don’t know what to say or do.
Even if you cook a superb meal or do something that usually
appeases your abuser, if he comes home in a horrid mood, watch
out! What happens to the abuser outside of the home is out of
your control; always remember that. So, if for instance your
abuser’s boss or some other person angers or worse yet, enrages
your partner, he’ll come home pissed off. And if he can’t
retaliate against his tormentor, he’ll likely displace his
aggression onto his personal ‘living punching bag’.
You don’t deserve to be abused, however, if you listen to
your abuser over and over, at times you may feel that you
deserve it. You may even begin to feel numb. Never use excuses
or justify your abuser’s behaviour. It’s his behaviour that’s
causing the problem, not yours.
The longer you stay in an abusive relationship the more
likely you are to be hurt, both physically and mentally, and
perhaps sexually. You may come out of a long-term abusive
relationship with one or more mental disorders. It’s not your
fault, it’s expected.
Spousal or partner abuse tends to occur in a cycle. Just
think of a bell curve, to simplify this matter. But understand
that the rise or spike (tension-building phase) is unique for
each case. In the tension-building phase aggression builds up.
The apex or the top of the bell curve is where the maximum
aggression occurs. Thereafter, if both partners are still
together there usually occurs a drop in aggression. Be mindful
that a sudden/unexpected fit of rage can occur at any time.