E-Book Review Volume 1 HTML version

So, it is coming as a surprise when Shirga,
eyes are smouldering and her bosoms are
my chief goat keeper is asking me if I know
where Tumshi the Magnificent sleeps.
“What is this?” I cry, “Do you intend betray me
“In the bridal chambers, of course, fool,” I reply
with a goat?”
curtly, “with his nanny goat of choice, making
little goats for the glory of Torfu.”
“It is because I am ambitious,” Soapi answers
with a voice which drips with sultriness.
“Ah,” Shirga nods in agreement, but with a low
“Ambitious? To have bed fun with a goat?”
grin, which I am hate very much.
“And you still have not discover where your wife
“To have bed fun with Tumshi the Magnificent,”
she growls, “because I want to go to America.”
Now, he stretch my patience. “You know I
She has me confuse. “What do you mean
have not discover, that is why I am kicking the
“America is land of future and they do not have
chickens every morning. They are get the suffer
because I do not get the bed fun.”
children there, but kids. I am reading this in
magazine. You cannot give me kids, but
“You follow her?”
Tumshi can.”
“I try, but she move like the wind, upstairs, down
corridors, through rooms, I cannot catch.”
I strike my head with hands, but only to
cause little sore. “Oh, you foolish woman, you
“Maybe you follow the wrong one,” sneer
are failing elemental biology and also American
Shirga, “Maybe you follow Tumshi, you find
English. Woman and goat cannot make kid,
and kid mean children in Americanese.”
“What you mean?” I demand, “What you imply,
you dog of a dog?”
“Is true?” and she have very pretty dimples.
“Is true,” I insist, “But as you have betrayed me I
But he return to polishing buttocks of the
must do the divorcing of you for sluttish
goats and I decide I will fire him and buy a
machine to do his tasks, the Swiss have good
behaviour and return you to your father as
damaged goods and demand repayment of
model, reasonable price.
dowry. With interest.”
Still, it is making me think and that night
when Soapi is disappear, I follow Tumshi to see
But Soapi is as wise as she is beautiful and
kicks off the sheets that cover her. It is the first
where he go. He is easy to follow, unlike Soapi,
time I have seeing her naked with no clothes on.
because he knows I do not want to have bed
fun with him. Imagine my shocking then, when I
We move to Wisconsin next Fall. With kids.
track him to a room on seventh floor of third
eastern outbuilding which I did not even know
existed. And there on a bed is lying my
Please note that the photograph used to illustrate
this short story is not of Tumshi the Magnificent
but of his brother, Joe.
beautiful Soapi. Her glossy, black hair is
tumbling over her ivory shoulders, her brown