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Domicile 4.5

Downloads: 731         Pages: 8

Published: 5 years ago

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The Patterson's loved their happy home; an idyllic 4th generation domicile based on the most advanced nanoengineering specifications. However, news has reached their ears that an even more advanced model has come out, the 4.5! With everyone else in the neighborhood set to upgrade, they don't want to get left behind. And really, with such marvelous technology at their disposal, what could possibly go wrong? Domicile 4.5 is a story of technological and domestic bliss, and the horrors that wait just around the corner.

Sudeshna

Wonderfully written!Thanks for sharing it...


Scott

Very interesting! Such good technology--made inert by the greed and slackness of man. We are still not ready, and may never be--for such good things to be reality, since with great wisdom comes great sorrow. Good reading, only a few errors!


Scott

Second submission showing corrections needed between the brackets: {} Suggestions following between (?) Page2, Line5“Yes, father,” Timmy said obligingly. “I just don't understand why we can't use the lighter equipment. It's not like {their} (they're) expensive or anything.” Page5, last 1/4 page:Rufus was on his way to fetching the paper ball as it descended to the ground once more, his front arms aimed at the ceiling and his back haunches erect and straining. His father was once more making a point about patches {a-nd} (and) nanowire glitches, when he realized Rufus had stopped yipping. Page7, line 16:They stood together a few minutes longer, Gerald patting his son on the { } (head?) and Martha stroking Gerald's back. Page7, last Paragraph:At the edge of the absence, the evac people were busy erecting a barricade, a ten foot high {ten}(tent?) made of transparent material that was anchored deep into the ground, a vacuum forminginside with a loud hiss once the final {slap} (flap?) was shut.


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Matthew S. Williams

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