Crucifixion Reloaded by PVT - HTML preview

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anyone? Why is it a sin to leave a marriage that destroys the

subjects of it? Why is it a sin then to remarry with the promise of

a life lived in happiness? Is adultery a sin when it is an escape

from a spouse that wants nothing but to destroy the other one‘s

life? Why is abortion a sin when the child born into a family that

is not ready for the gift, destroys not only the family, but the life

of the child as well?

―I don‘t say to run around copulating with everyone then kill

the fetus and go on having sex. All I ask is to think, shake off the

shackles made of cold marble and think. Ask yourself why. Ask

yourself who is hurt. There is only one sin that has as many forms

as mirrors on the greatest disco ball of the world. Sin is when you

harm someone that means no harm to anyone.

―God‘s kingdom will come when you learn to love each other

with all your heart and learn to live in mutual respect.‖

―Don‘t listen to him.‖

Peter heard some in the crowd moan in awe as the Pope

stepped out onto the balcony hovering above the sea of people.

―Don‘t turn away from God,‖ continued the Pope wearing

civilian clothes, jeans and a T-shirt, lacking all the pompous

costumes and accessories that make him look like a vain super

star. ―Do you want the world to end? Do you want Sodom and

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Gomorra to repeat itself? It is a sin for people of the same-sex to

marry, it is written in the Bible, it is incorporated as an axiom

into most of the cultures, it has been for thousands of years, and

it worked. It is a sin to kill because the Ten Commandments say

so, thus abortion and contraception is also a sin because life

begins with a semen and an egg. Divorce is a sin because what

God joined human cannot tear apart. It is a sin, don‘t you hear

me? A sin, a sin, sin, sin, sin, sin, siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin…‖ he

shrieked.

―Silence,‖ boomed Neil, and he too was surprised by the power

of his voice echoing around the square. The Pope started choking

and had to grab hold of the balcony‘s railing preventing him to

fall down. Women fainted in the crowd, and everyone was afraid

to speak. He started retching and heaving. As he coughed, stale

dust came out of his mouth and a musty smell of an unused attic

filled the square. He was suffocating slowly, his suffering

culminating only to give him release the next second as a moth

flew out of his mouth. Peter saw the moth fly into the air then it

began his descent, stopping right before Peter‘s eyes. The moth

gave him a wink, tink, then a smile, and flew away. The Pope

coughed and crumbled to the ground.

―I think we are done here,‖ said Neil descending the stairs.

Silence.

The crowd parted as Neil walked away from the church. Peter

could see fear in the eyes of the audience. They wanted to believe

him, but Neil was tearing up roots too deep, roots that entwined

and grew deeper and deeper during the many eons. Neil was

offering them something new, something so simple and

comprehendible, yet the crowd was terrified to believe him and

cheer. Peter walked behind Neil hoping that he truly was the son

of God.

NEIL‘S TWITTER. Water is a gift and must be treated as such.

Some spoil it while others die of thirst. Some never think of it,

others can‘t stop.

James‘ Gospel

James looked at the four aces in his hands, peeking at Judas

over his cards, knowing that probably he would beat him no

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matter how lucky Judas thinks he is. The taste of victory dissolved

in his mouth, sweet and sour, raspberry. James reached for a can

of beer and took a sip, feeling the tiredness overcome him. There

was one last stop, and the tour would finally come to an end, they

would finally be able to return to their hometown and meet with

their families.

Peter was sleeping in his lap, John was reading a book. They

were sitting in John‘s trailer that was filled with the many books

he usually read at once. Among the pile of papers and books, the

room seemed the storage of a library and made him feel crowded,

so many lives and different worlds residing on paper, imprisoned

by ink. They were just books, but he felt the presence of the

characters cheering for him, as cheering for the winner is always

the easiest thing to do.

They were getting a positive buzz from many, but the great

breakthrough hadn‘t come yet, they were still the protégés of

Lady Dada, and still had to prove themselves worthy in the eyes

of the youth. They were all waiting for the kick that would send

them flying toward the stars. James felt it lingering about, felt the

flow that would break through the dam. It was impossible to lose

when they have climbed so high already.

The four aces in his hand were a symbol, and he knew that

nothing happens out of pure coincidence. He would win, and for

the moment, this made him forget all his worries. Judas changed

his cards. It was time to show his hand, but James‘ happiness

dissolved quickly when the door flung open, and Philipp stepped

into the room.

―I just spoke with the chief editor of the Rolling Rocks, they

want us to be on their front cover with a full length interview…‖

Judas jumped up joyfully, throwing his cards into the air.

James looked down at his cards and frowned, slamming them

onto the table. Among the joy and excitement, he was a little

disappointed, he was about to win, so close.

―And this is not all, I spoke to Lady. She told me that she would

help us release our first album and even direct our debut video

clip…‖

Peter hugged Judas and Philipp. They opened up a bottle of

champagne. The cork flew into the air as the foam dribbled to the

ground. James stood up and left, searching for Neil.

James stepped out of the trailer and walked beneath the night

sky feeling lost. He wasn‘t an astrologer, the night sky was the

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same to him wherever they were. It had that luring and repulsing

characteristic of infinity, a word impossible to understand. The

lights of the city shone just over the horizon, coloring the bottom

of the dark blue sky a warm orange, life fighting against death, a

thin line against the vast blue above it. He walked through the

maze of trailers to the one where Neil was sleeping in.

James‘ hopes were high, no matter how hard it was to believe

it, they made it, they will rise, and after that? What happens when

you reach the top? The greatest fear of James was that nothing

would be there, only the valley beneath, the stunningly kitschy

world left behind, the river sparkling and heading toward the sea

that ends in the setting sun, beauty so far away, only the cold, arid

scenery of the summit around him. What do you do if you reach

everything you ever desired? Isn‘t that the end? Where do you go

when there is no going higher? Is there such a place? Maybe you

can reach a certain extent then you must fall.

He walked up the stairs and kicked open Neil‘s door, his heart

exulting because of the news. James saw Neil hunched over a tiny

wooden table with a rolled up one dollar bill in his hand. The

hand was reflected on a mirror lying on the table with streaks of

white powder divided evenly on it. James knew what it was and

felt a strange attraction to it even though he knew the substance

was dangerous, like the voice of the sirens calling the sailors

closer and closer to the rocks.

―What are you doing, Neil?‖

Neil looked at him surprised, knowing that it was too late to

hide the facts.

―It‘s just an energy boost, nothing more…‖

―I know, Neil, but isn‘t this a sin?‖

―Remember, sin and virtue are just like fire, it can give you

food, but if used unwisely, it can burn a village down. I am the

one controlling the drug. Do you want to try some?‖

‗He is the son of God,‘ James told himself, ‗he must know what

he is doing.‘

―Ok,‖ he said reaching for the dollar in Neil‘s hand. ―By the way

have you heard the news?‖

―Yes, Lady told me. We will be shooting after we rest a little at

home.‖

―She was here? What for? She hardly ever visits Judas...‖

―She just had to tell me the news in person...‖

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―Great, I guess,‖ he said and bent over to the mirror, sniffing

the powder up careful not to miss a single speck, thinking that

Neil was hiding something from him.

NEIL‘S TWITTER. No one can stop us now, we are speeding

higher and higher.

L€ne‘s Gospel

The limousine stopped before Neil‘s two-story house, the

apricot-colored planks radiating before the green lawn with the

rose bushes lining the path leading to the porch bearing the

rattan garden furniture.

The front door opened, and two women appeared, hugging

each other and smiling toward them.

Neil opened the door of the limousine, and light burst into the

darkness. He stretched his limbs then bent down. ―C‘mon, L€ne,

they are not going to eat you.‖

L€ne nodded and took a deep breath, diving into the meeting.

They walked down the gravel path dissecting the lawn hand-in-

hand, and L€ne felt her heart beating in her throat as Neil‘s

parents were coming closer. He let go of her hand, but L€ne tried

to grab hold of it fearing she would be carried away by a current.

Neil‘s hand just slipped away leaving her standing alone before

the steps of the porch as Neil jumped up and hugged his parents.

―Oh, mothers, it is so good to see you, you both look fantastic.‖

―Neil, don‘t be rude, could you please introduce us to this lovely

young girl,‖ said Mary.

L€ne examined her ragged clothes and golden boots and

thought about a word that would describe her, and even if she

didn‘t find any at the moment, she knew lovely would definitely

not be one of them.

―Mothers, I give to you L€ne,‖ said Neil waving toward her.

L€ne smiled, stepped up the stairs, and raised her hand. Mary

took it and pulled her close to hug her, blowing a kiss on her

cheek and whispering her name in L€ne‘s ear. Josephine did the

same.

―You both will be sleeping upstairs in Neil‘s room,‖ said Mary.

―Ok, mother,‖ said Neil taking L€ne‘s hand and pulling her

inside the house. L€ne looked around in the foyer, the hazel

parquet shining, the white railing of the stairs hurrying up to the

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first floor. Neil led her into the living room and sat her down into

the white sofa facing the modern fireplace with a rectangular

piece of glass before it. L€ne felt the scent of the lilacs rising

towards the sky from the vase on the side-table.

―Do you want a lemonade, L€ne?‖ asked Mary.

―Yes,‖ she said trying to sound as normal as possible.

―One more for me,‖ said Neil putting his head on L€ne‘s

shoulder. The many books filled the shelves on both sides of the

fireplace. The sprinklers rose out from ground in the garden and

started watering the perfectly kept lawn. L€ne closed her eyes

feeling that she loved this place, she wanted to lose herself in this

normality definitively. She heard two children playing on the

lawn, their two children, and saw Neil hurrying to work as she

waved him good-bye every morning until the end of her life.

L€ne heard a buzzing that awoke her from her daydream and

brought her back to the present. Neil sat up and reached into his

pocket.

―Oh shit, its Philip…‖

―Pick it up, maybe it‘s important.‖

Neil nodded and answered.

―Hi…Now?…Why didn‘t you tell me sooner…You forgot, I

see…You really need an assistant…You already have?...Can‘t it

wait?...Bye.‖

Neil hung up and threw the phone onto the glass table before

them, pressing the base of his palms against his eyes as if he were

trying to push his eyeballs back into his brain.

―We must go, the mayor‘s wife wants us to meet the mayor.

Philipp sent an open-car for us, the locals are already gathering…‖

―Now?‖

―Yes, Philipp says it will be good publicity.‖

―He‘s right, probably,‖ said L€ne as they heard a car stop

before the house. ―Should we change?‖

Neil was wearing his usual leather jacket with jeans and she a

T-shirt with a skeleton made of glitter on it.

―No, L€ne, we don‘t have time.‖

L€ne nodded, and they both stood up. Mary stepped out of the

kitchen with two lemonades in her hands, the scent of menthol

lingering about.

―Where are you going, kids?‖ she asked.

―To see the mayor…‖ answered Neil disappointedly.

―Lazarus? What for?‖

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―He is dying.‖

L€ne looked at Mary surprised, both of them did not see this

coming. Neil and L€ne stepped outside and saw the open-roofed

black limousine, so nostalgic, parking right behind the car they

had arrived with. They nodded to the chauffer who just tipped his

hat. They jumped into the back, sitting on the trunk.

They left the residential area and were heading toward the

center of the suburbs. As the first shops appeared, they heard a

murmur fill the air. They took a right to see the center with the

church on the right, Philipp‘s fish shop on the left, the ice cream

parlor by the entrance of the park with the fountain in the middle,

and the city hall, their destination, in the distance, rising over the

suburbs with its great white dome and neo-Classicist facade. The

road leading around the park was filled with people cheering.

Confetti was falling from the sky like rain. A band led by uncle

Sam, an old man, grim and rabbit-like, with a goatee fastened to

his chin with tape, a shining horizontal strip running parallel to

his lower-lip, was waiting for them to catch up. When they did,

Uncle Sam raised his walking stick, and the band started playing,

emitting their loud and raunchy music, heading toward the city

hall.

Neil and L€ne waved, hiding their shock with the widest smile

the world had ever seen. Occasionally mothers would step to Neil

giving him their babies, and Neil would blow a gentle kiss upon

their tender foreheads. Elders would raise their hands covered by

skin like parchment, and Neil would squeeze them with

compassion. It was a full-blown parade, and it seemed as if this

were the happiest fucking country the world had ever seen.

Through the cheering, a deep booing emerged. Soon great

boards came into sight over the heads of the rejoicing people.

Finally the protesters came into view, their black uniforms

draining the colors of the parade.

‗Lady Dada is the devil‘s wife, you are its bastard.‘ ‗The devil

rules, this is the end.‘ ‗Eradicate the root and the fruit will rot.‘

‗The child of the devil must succumb.‘

L€ne huddled closer to Neil afraid of the drooling protester,

their saliva, like acid, burning a hole into the concrete. Neil tried

to smile, but he too was afraid.

―Be careful, Neil,‖ screamed someone from behind when a dark

spot rose into the sky from the direction of the protesters. L€ne

watched it approaching them, growing bigger and bigger. She

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recognized its grey surface and rugged edges. The rock came

down crashing against Neil‘s head. Neil fell back onto the trunk

unconscious as L€ne felt the world spinning around her. The rock

bounced off Neil‘s head, and for some reason, she jumped after it

to catch it, as if catching it would somehow annul the hit. The

rock was just out of grasp, and L€ne, investing all her strength

into this unsuccessful movement, fell onto the trunk unconscious.

The last thing she felt was the warm metal of the car soothing her

from beneath.

Judas‘ Gospel

―I must speak to her…‖

―But is he alright?‖ asked Judas at the verge of panic.

―He is fine, but he is frightened, he has been attacked.‖

Judas looked at the monitor, Peter‘s face and thick glasses

occupied the whole screen. Judas could see his worried eyes and

wide nostrils, huffing as if it were the end of the world.

―Wait a second, I‘ll get her…‖

Judas stood up from the minimalist white sofa facing the great

glass wall through which the Big Apple could be seen in its full

splendor.

―Dada,‖ he called out.

―In the bathroom, sweetheart…‖

Judas walked around the glass dining table, took a right before

the bed standing in the corner, and pushed the wooden sliding

door to the side. Dada was kneeling before the cube toilette

wearing yellow rubber gloves rising to her elbow, scrubbing the

bowl clean.

―What is it?‖ she asked, catching breath between the words.

―Neil has been attacked and wants to step back. Peter wants

you to talk to him.‖

Dada stood up and took her gloves off, cleaning her forehead

with her wrist. She jumped to the mirror and adjusted her lobster

hat, straightening one of its antennae so that it rose into the sky

proudly.

She walked back to the living room and took the laptop into her

lap, Judas stopping behind her.

―Hi,‖ said Peter waving. ―Please do something, he wants to back

away.‖

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―Ok,‖ said Dada, and Peter smiled. Peter disappeared from the

monitor, and the white room of the hospital was visible now.

Peter‘s laptop rose into the sky, and Judas could see the rest of

the band, including L€ne, sitting by the bed. The monitor

stopped, facing the white wall as the sound of someone entering

the room leaked from the speakers

―Is he alright?‖ Judas heard the voice of Philipp.

―Yes,‖ answered Peter.

―I know this is not the best time, but I would like to introduce

to you my new assistant Bartholomew,‖ continued Philipp after a

brief pause.

The chairs moved, the sound of greeting filled the room.

―Neil? Neil?‖ Judas heard Philipp.

―He is not talking to any of us,‖ said Peter.

Peter‘s laptop hovered away from the wall, and Neil appeared,

lying in the bed, tucked in till his neck, his face motionless,

staring at the roof. Peter placed his computer into Neil‘s lap.

―Neil,‖ said Dada in a soft voice.

Neil raised his head and turned their way. ―Why didn‘t you tell

me that it would be so dangerous?‖ he asked emotionlessly.

―I thought you knew…‖

―How could I? All I saw was notoriety and fame…‖

―But you saw behind all this, the hell of a lot of work trying to

maintain the illusion that our lives are so easy. You read the

articles calling you the devil, the statements of the church and of

the conservative politicians…‖

―I did, but they seemed so far away. I thought they would never

touch me…‖

―You thought you were God…‖

Neil nodded.

―You see, Neil, it happens to all of us who reach the top, we

think that just because we are on a high mountain we are above

everyone else, but you must never forget that the sky is always

higher, higher that any mountain in the world. You must not

forget that you are human just like the rest of us, if you forget

this, you will fall.

―Come, Neil, let me show you something, you too, Judas,

come,‖ she said and picked the laptop up, walking to the

mysterious door, the whiteness of its surface shining. Dada

leaned close to the control panel and inserted the code that

opened the door. Dada pushed it in. She stepped into the

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darkness and flicked the switch up. The neon tubes flickered a

few times then stayed on, shining down onto many stacks of

paper, hundreds of white columns made of sheets, some reaching

the ceiling, even the shortest towering above Judas.

―What are these?‖ asked Neil, his muffled voice coming from

the speakers.

Dada laughed to herself and adjusted her white T-shirt, ―These,

my friend, are all threats, most of them vowing to stone me to

death.‖

―All of them?‖ asked Judas.

Dada nodded. ―The moment you emerge from the current of

people and begin your rise to the top, not only you become lonely,

with fewer and fewer companions, but you step into a spotlight

that makes you a target to the evil. I could have stopped many

times, but I didn‘t. They are wrong, and I will not give them the

reassurance of the immolated. If they bring me down, I‘ll give

them the biggest explosion the world has ever seen. I will not step

back in silence but drown screaming to the world. I promise.‖

Neil looked away, the light perspiring through the white

curtains falling onto his face.

―I am not going back to the mayor, I need some time to work

through this,‖ said Neil.

―You don‘t have any, if you postpone your visit, they will think

you are a coward, that your conviction is weak. This is what they

want you to do, to step back…‖

Neil still faced away and did not answer, but Dada did not give

up.

―When I was young, my mother told me we are all born as stars,

not meaning stars as in celebrities. The way she meant it was that

everyone has the power to achieve perfection in every profession,

you just need to be brave and stick to it, never give up. Go down

your road even if the world tells you you‘re crazy, stick to your

conviction, even if you must sacrifice your life because only then

won‘t it be a sacrifice, for God will reward you. If you are

convinced with all your heart that you are doing the ethical thing,

even if you aren‘t, God will forgive you, of this I am sure.

Sacrificing something for the better is not sacrifice because,

believe me, heaven will be something truly extraordinary.‖

Neil did not move.

―Neil? Are you listening?‖ asked Dada aggravated.

Neil raised his hand and shut the monitor down.

137

Thomas‘ Gospel

Thomas watched Neil close the laptop.

―I am not going