Clippings by Harvey Watson - HTML preview

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2/4/85 SydneyMorningHerald- Births
Congratulations to Sue and Geoff whose baby boy Donald was delivered on Friday. Good luck and best wishes for the future.



When I grow up I want to be an astronort

15/5/92 Participation award
Southdale Primary School Spelling Bee

Teachers report
Donald is a pleasant class member and a hard working student. He is attentive in class. He completes his work without fuss and rarely complains. However Donald struggles to grasp advanced concepts, and as such is only deemed an average academic achiever. Donald does not often speak in class.

Dear Mr Schiller
My name is Donald, I am 13 years old. I like football and videogames. I do not like reading because it is boring. I also like the Simpsons because Homer is funny. On the weekend I play football and watch movies. I am looking forward to high school because I can make new friends.

26/4/99 Text from
Sarah is awesome :D xoxo

Heyyy… im srry I dnt think we shud see each othr nemore yur just too borin… srry lovin you alwys SaRaH xoxo

For Sale- 1994 Mitsubishi GTO, Twin Turbo, RWD, 55,000 km, $44,000 enquire at Para City Autos 8394 7485

For Sale- 1984 Daihatsu Charade, 3cyl 1 litre, 200,000 km, auto, body is rough some panel damage, mechanically a1, $3000 price negotiable, 8367 9530
Year 12 Report Card English C 13
Maths D 10
Biology C 11
PE B 14
History C 13

Donald has been a quiet, unassuming member of the school. He has attended most classes, and generally completes his work on time. Donald does not like to participate in class discussions and generally keeps his thoughts to himself.

Donald’s school work is of a satisfactory standard but it is unclear whether he has fully applied himself throughout his academic career. Good luck in the future

28/12/02 Class of 2002 graduation book
Donald Rivers
Best friend- My gorgeous girl friend Carla!
In ten years time I will be- Working 9-5
Friends Comment- Don is a great guy. He is smart and funny, he always knows how to make me smile. I can’t wait for all the amazing times we will share together in the future. Lots of love from your amazing girl Carla :) xx



‘Welcome to McDonalds my name is Donald how may I help you?’




One missed call from 8399 1243 voicemail received at 3.45 pm

‘Hey Don its Carla... this is really hard to say and I wish you could answer the phone, I know you’re probably out but I need to say it. I don’t think it’s working out. We are just two very different people, and we have drifted apart. I’m at university and you’re... busy, it’s not like we get to see each other much now a day’s anyway... So yeh thanks for some great memories, you are an amazing person and I hope we can always be friends. We can catch up during uni holidays in a few weeks? Just let me know... bye Don, I’m sorry...

Message Deleted Dear Mr/Mrs I would like to apply for the position of human guinea pig advertised in the Sydney Morning Herald on the 17/4/05. I see this as an exciting opportunity to make a difference to the community. I am a quick learner and self motivated. I also have two arms, two legs and a strong tolerance to toxic chemicals. If chosen I will bring an independent yet friendly attitude to the laboratory. My details are provided within.

5/2/14 TheDailyTelegraphp 27
Payout for Human Guinea Pigs
On Wednesday an out of court settlement was reached between the human research company Ziocorp and a group of participants in a 2005 research program. The experiment which aimed to create a waterproof beanie resulted in baldness, scaled skin and intolerance to light. The 25 affected participants each received $75,000 in a settlement described as a ‘breakthrough case’.

For Sale- 1984 Daihatsu Charade, 3cyl 1 litre, 354,000 km, auto, ok condition, $1500 ONO, 8378 2492

1/7/16 Lab Rat by Donald Rivers is the true story of a man who overcame the odds.


Join Donald as he describes his time as a human research subject for the company Ziocorp.

Feel his pain as he suffers crippling baldness and genital warts associated with the studies he partook in.

Bask in his success as the 2014 payouts help him receive the justice he deserves.


A New York Times best seller Lab Rat is sure to inspire all who read it.



31/5/18 SydneyMorningHeraldDeaths
The Rivers family mourns the death of Sue who died during a freak bowling accident. Loving mother, wife and friend of all, Sue shall be dearly missed.

24/9/21 www.etonline/
The film adaptation of the popular novel Lab Rat has failed to capture the imagination of the general public. Its opening week grossed a paltry $4.5 million, far less than its $65 million budget. The films failure can be partly blamed on Donald’s insistence on a couple of key scenes, including the ill fated 25 minute long ‘toilet scene’. It is believed Donald funnelled a large amount of his personal wealth into the project.

Inbox Fri, 10 Sep 2025 12:18:32 From: University of Sydney To: Donald Rivers
Topic- Lectures

Dear Mr Rivers the university would like to remind you that you are not a member of our staff. As such it is not required that you consistently continue to deliver impromptu lectures in our halls. It is most unwelcome. If you are sighted on University property in the future the proper authorities will be contacted.

In breaking news Donald Rivers, author of the much loved novel Lab Rat has been checked into rehab for alcohol dependency. It is reported that Rivers was a guest at the official unveiling of the Honda F-tech flying car when he hijacked the vehicle. Police later charged Rivers at a nearby bar. Author Donald Rivers and Jessica Bushten were married on Thursday. The two met in rehab where Jessica was a nurse, and they have dated ever since. In a small ceremony the two exchanged vows. Rivers who has long suffered with alcoholism declared that he was ‘ecstatic’ to have found love later in life.

30/11/33 SydneyMorningHeraldBirths
Donald and Jessica are proud to announce the arrival of Mary Sue Rivers on the 28thof November. Mary is a healthy weight and the birth was trouble free, thank you for all the lovely gifts, they are appreciated.

3/8/38 TimesOnlineOne hit wonders Author- Donald Rivers, Lab Rat Artist- Vanilla Ice, Ice Ice Baby Actor- Mark Hammil, Star Wars

21/4/40 Channel 9, 7pm Celebrity Salesman
In this hilarious new reality TV show 10 celebrities are pitted together in a sales competition. Watch as dancer Kyla Freudam, Olympic gold medallist Ian Foreman, author Donald Rivers and others attempt to sell the most door to door products. One by one they are eliminated until the final two must attempt to sell their souls for $500. Prepare to laugh as the fun never stops with Celebrity Salesman.

6/8/45 SydneyMorningHeraldDeaths
Geoffrey Rivers died yesterday of a heart attack. He is fondly remembered by his son Donald.

9/2/50 N-Gamer
Author Donald Rivers has recorded a score of
1,049,100 on the original Donkey Kong arcade
game. He attributes the score to hard work and ‘a


lot of spare time’.

18/7/55 SydneyMorningHeraldp42
Lab Rat
author in intensive care
Donald Rivers 70, has been placed under intensive care at St Vincent’s hospital in Sydney. Rivers is best known for his 2010 hit novel Lab Rat, but also for famously hijacking the first flying car. He has suffered from liver disease for many years and it is predicted he may not last the night. Lab Rat, Rivers only novel sold over 20 million copies worldwide. He is in the company of his friends and family.



Here lies Donald Rivers








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