An Amateur's Guide to Spirituality by Ella Roberts - HTML preview

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I believe that once a person has mastered Self, their external life begins to flow towards truth, and although there are four other sections to this book (and other compartments to a person’s life); I consider this one to be the most important, because the others extend from it.

Get To Know Your Self

Let me stress right at the beginning, how important it is when embarking on your spiritual journey to take the time to get to know your Self. That is because; if you are going to focus on being an individual you will at some point need to know who that individual actually is.

“But I do know myself” I can already hear some people say, which I am not going to dispute because only you know how true that statement is, and it is beyond my means and sense of bothered-ness to check, so good for you!

Anyway, as much as I have been accused of Devil possession or moving in with cult members, the truth is it took me six years of working on my Self before I even attempted to connect with other spiritual people. That was because of the negative reception I first received when coming out, so in my mind there were no spiritual people for me to actually connect with in London (and the fact that all the really glamorous events and gatherings happened in America).

Yes, I was a sensitive child who took things very personally, which you may have noticed by the way a few people’s actions managed to put me off and taint my view of institutions, religions and even countries.

But I have grown up a lot since then; I have become Self-centred, emotionally and mentally stable, and best of all I know myself very well. I know how best I operate, what makes me tick and what makes me smile, I am open to trying out new things but I am discriminating about what or who I do and do not get involved with.

I make conscious decisions and am always aware of what I am thinking and feeling. Everything I do is from a place of truth, and as a result I am not as affected by the outside world as I once was.

My goal is ascension, and that involves a lot of healing to uncover my Higher Self - the part which is not clouded by negative emotions that create unreal characteristics and go on to build a false personality that originally came traumas in my past.

I clear, I cleanse, and I heal myself on a regular basis, and make it a priority to keep the connection open to my Higher Self so that I can reach my ultimate state of Being for this lifetime.

Do make it a point to get to know your Self while embarking on your spiritual journey, because it is very important! Not only will it allow you to become self-aware so that you can monitor your thoughts and feelings to create consciously, you will also know what you are receptive to and what you are not.

I believe it will stop you being too reliant on getting from the outside world what you are more than capable of giving to yourself (love, acceptance, happiness, peace) or having others impose their views on you and stop you thinking for yourself.

Here are a few things I do to connect with myself:

Writing. I keep a journal in which I write my feelings, thoughts, goals, aspirations, even random ramblings that I feel are relevant to my life. I am always open and honest about everything because there is no room for ego (when dealing with Higher Selves). I date my entries because I like to go back months later and read over who I was back then; it is a great way to monitor my progress and keep from forgetting my achievements. Because you have the right to allow all sorts of thoughts to pass through your head (savoury or unsavoury), which you may feel the need to share with your journal, I would also suggest you keep it private, unless having your inner most thoughts and vulnerabilities leered over by nosy busy bodies is your thing, of course.

Creativity. I don’t know if you’ve heard of the implication that imagination is a medium to the Soul, and creativity is the tool to uncover it (creativity + imagination = Soul connection) okay, I’ve just made it up but now you know. Children are very spiritual and this has a lot to do with their gateway to the Soul being permanently open (until they become tainted by traumas or grow up). So where you can, spend time creating (with or without children) and do things like writing stories, drawing pictures, colouring in, painting, inventing games… yes, I do these things but mostly alone in my room on a Wednesday afternoon when I should be at work.

Walking. I discovered the wonderful properties of this during a time when I was so broke I could not get on the bus (let alone the train) because I couldn’t afford to, so I had to walk. I like getting slapped by the cold English air just as much as the next person (not much), but it has its advantages and one of those is clearing cob webs that fester about in my head when I spend too much time agonising over an issue I cannot immediately see the solution to. I will also add that I like sitting in the park or by the river, which is grounding and liberating at the same time. And although I am cold and weather beaten when I come back, I always feel lighter and more aware of who I am (having connected).

Feeling Good. Contrary to popular belief, torturing or depriving yourself of feeling good is not the quickest let alone best way to God (or Higher Self). Think about it, when you are miserable and sad you are closed off and have all your barriers up so nothing can come through. But when you are happy and having fun you are open and free, which is when all sorts of wonderful information comes tumbling through. Don’t ask me what information that is, because is up to you to find out for yourself; I know what mine is so it is your turn to find out yours. I also love to laugh, nothing is better than rolling around in fits of laughter because it releases tensions I didn’t know I had, and let’s face it, it feels good! So, I make it a priority to give myself laughter therapy at least once a week, which includes watching television (Friends, Frasier, The Simpsons), a film (Shrek, Bridget Jones’ Diary, Coming to America), reading a book (Skipping Christmas, The Portable Door, The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency), or calling up a friend I just know will make me laugh.

Connecting. Have you ever reacted to something someone says or does in a way you never thought yourself capable of? Well that is the beauty of relationships; connecting with other people is a very affective way of getting to know yourself. And as tempting as it is to coop yourself up while you grow (especially after a break-up) and then emerge when nothing can affect you, it is actually through being affected by other people and situations that you grow the fastest. So, I like to gather a few friends together and do something we all enjoy, meet up with likeminded people and share ideas. I try to see a tarot card reader and a regression therapist (who also happen to be my friends) as often as I can, all with the goal of getting to know myself better; other people are the best mirrors that reflect me back to myself.

Try all the above (in your own way) for about three months and see how much better you get to know and start liking yourself at the end of it. There are many other things you could do and ways you could try, which I obviously haven’t mentioned; it is up to you to go find them and try them!

Mind you, getting to know your Self is not a quick route to kicking out your dodgy relationship problems (I’ve been trying for years), but it will contribute towards it on an overall level.

I consider “Self” to be an umbrella (Ella, Ella, Eh, Eh, Eh) term that encompasses the mind, the body and the spirit, which altogether make up an entire Being, so obviously there will be many levels on which to explore and get to know your Self. We all know how limiting words can be so hold on, coverance (I know it doesn’t exist) time again:


The words I have chosen to describe certain things (in any instance throughout the book) work for me, and although you may chose to use them differently, just like an encyclopaedia would, that doesn’t matter because I am writing this book.

I have chosen to use them this way because that is how understand what I mean and am trying to say. For example (even though it may get confusing) I may chose to replace mind/body/spirit with mind/body/emotions, because I consider emotions in their purest form to be from Spirit, and emotions in their lowest form to be from the (wounded) mind, so look out for that reference.

If however, you still don't understand where I am coming from, I would suggest you read other wonderful books on spirituality, self-development and ascension (some listed at the back) to help you open up further. Alternatively, consult your intuition, which is a fabulous source of untapped wisdom that is best of all, free!

The Mind

The mind to me is the chakras, and for those of you who don’t know what they are I will explain how I have understood and interpreted them.

A chakra is an energy centre that links your body to your mind, to your Spirit, and it contains all sorts of information about who you are on all levels; memories and experiences from your past, even experiences and memories from past lifetimes.

Your chakras hold the answers to phobias, health conditions, why you may react in certain ways to certain things, and even why you may keep attracting the “wrong” partner into your life.

They are a wealth of information, seven of which run along your spine spinning at different vibrations, radiating different colours, connected to different systems in your body, and dealing with different aspects and purposes in your life.

I believe the flow of things in your life accurately reflect the flow of energy running through your chakras, so if you find yourself fighting for everything in life, look at how and why the energy is fighting to get past/through which of your chakras.

The base chakra is red and located at the bottom of your spine, the sacral/sexual is orange and located in your naval or lower abdomen, the solar plexus is yellow and located in your upper abdomen underneath your ribs.

The heart chakra is green for healing and pink for love, it is located in the centre of your chest, the throat is blue and located in your throat and the space between your ears, the third eye is indigo and located in the centre of your forehead. And the crown chakra, which some say is violet but I see as a diamondy-silver (indigo and violet are too close in colour and often confuse me) is located at a centre spot at the top of your head.

I associate the base chakra with grounding, family and financial issues, the sacral chakra with creativity, sex, intimacy and my inner child, the solar plexus chakra with power, fears and being myself. These three are also known as the lower chakras which cover the physical world and its issues; personality, lower emotions, the body etc, so when they are blocked, things in my outer world tend to stall as well.

The heart chakra is the bridge between the Higher Self and the Lower Self, and I associate it with love, compassion and all things emotional, so when it is blocked, my ability to deal with other people and my feelings for them goes haywire, and my lower energy doesn’t rise to my Higher Self nor does my higher energy descend to my Lower Self.

The throat is the first of the higher chakras, the centre for communication on all levels (with Higher Self, Spirit Guides, Angels, other people) which means listening and receiving as well as speaking and projecting, it is centre for the psychic ability clairaudience.

The third eye chakra is where the psychic ability of clairvoyance is centred, and manner of seeing and connecting with the truth (higher and lower). In fact, I see this chakra as what we are referring to when we talk about thinking, because we point to the temple where it (in the centre of the head) is located; thoughts are in pictures and not in words (which we use to decipher them), and saying "you read my mind/thoughts", I see as someone tapping into the images floating around in the shared consciousness and saying them before someone else does.

The crown chakra is where connection to the Divine, and channelling of esoteric information happens, it is the centre of imagination and the psychic ability of clairsentience. When my crown chakra is open, and I am connected to the Universe while my base chakra is firmly connected to the earth, amazing things happen!


The above explanation is deliberately short because I do not want to fill your head with my interpretation of what the chakras are and represent (to me). There are plenty of books on the subject that will explain them thoroughly and in depth so that you can understand.

I would highly recommend coupling your research with practice, so that you get to know yourself through them, and with time you will form your own interpretation, which will be different to mine.

Either way you will have a better understanding (if you do not already) of the chakras, what they are, what they do, and how best to make use of them for your highest good.

Go forth and begin/continue your journey, and see what you uncover!


Unhelpful Mindsets and Beliefs

I have spent a lot of time healing and clearing and cleansing myself in body/mind/emotions (pure and higher emotions come from the Spirit, and lower emotions come from the wounded Self in the mind), which also meant ridding myself of learned conditionings that no longer served my highest purpose, and one such conditioning is the God and Devil theory.

One second, let me cover myself again;



I am about to shock a lot of people with what is coming next, and this I know because of the reactions I have received when I said it aloud. I am not going to let it stop me from expressing my truth because it feels right for me to do so.

However, I would like to apologise in advance if it offends you or your beliefs, but these are mine and they coexistent with yours. If you feel you cannot accept this, then I suggest you put the book down until such a time as you can (if ever), or perhaps consult your intuition which will guide you on what to do next.

It is the strongest source of truth you will ever know and the most valuable at this point in your journey, because it comes from who you are, and it will let you know the highest truth about you, and all the information around you.

This is an attempt at my sharing:

I do not believe in God, I do not believe in the Devil, I don't believe in a place called heaven and I don't believe in a place called hell, I believe that they all have to do with creation and that is why I have put them in the mind section.

One random day while sitting on the bus, I came to a realisation about the above, that I found quite amusing to start off with but eventually changed my whole outlook and perception of what we call God (or rather what I see it as).

I realised that God is a play on the word "good" and Devil is a play on the word "evil", then my perspective widened as I saw that God is the supposedly "good" male figure who lives in a white place called heaven somewhere up in the sky direction while the Devil is an "evil" male figure who lives in the red place called hell somewhere under ground.

Now look at how literal this is; up above are clouds that are white and wherever in the world you go, clouds will always be above you. And I read somewhere that the core of the earth (which is under ground and below wherever you are in the world) is a very hot place. And what do we strongly associated with hot, but red fire?

Anyway, for the longest time I had been struggling with the concept of God, the Devil, heaven and hell, so this realisation shattered any scraps of seriousness I still held in regard to the subject as it stood. Which for the first time ever, allowed me to freely think (without fearing incurring the wrath of God) that every human being, be they a priest or a murderer has the capacity within them (thanks to free will and a whole host of emotions stemming from love or fear) to be good or evil: God or the Devil.

Let me give you an example; I have a positive and enthusiastic view of the world (regardless of the current state of affairs) to do with raising consciousness by sharing and loving, being good to each other and growing to reach our ultimate state of awareness, where anything is possible.

But then, I also have thoughts that can be classed as evil, especially when I am battling with hurt, old wounds and fear. The amount of times I have thought up revenge strategies to make ex-boyfriends pay for hurt they caused me, or exbosses/teachers/random people for humiliating me to make themselves feel better.

And what a fantastic job I would have done too, because of how observant, creative and down right patient I am! I would have hit them where it hurt and they would know exactly how they made me feel... except, that wouldn't have cleared up any of my pain.

In fact, I am not even sure it would have made me feel any better to hurt them, even though they had done it to me; one wounded animal lashing out against another (even though one would be retaliating to provocation) wouldn't solve anything. So, I thought it would be better to put my energies into looking at the pain and dealing with the root cause of it then letting it go, which in affect would allow me to let go of the people who brought the wounds to my attention.

Ironically, when I cleared, healed and was doing pretty well for myself I bumped into some of the people who’d hurt me, and their reactions (which weren’t always pleasant but they couldn't hurt me anymore) always had me feeling a lot better about myself.

But best of all, I knew I had not done anything to them that would have me expecting karma knocking down my door at night. I can now happily vouch for the absolutely true statement that "the best form of revenge is success", because I have experienced it!

So, like I said we are all capable of being good or evil, and it is our choice which of them we choose, because people who do evil things are capable of being good, just like people who do good things are capable of being evil. On a higher level I even consider good and evil to be relative, depending on where you are coming from.

Either way, we all have the capacity to be God, and the capacity to be the Devil; that is how I have chosen to see it and how I have chosen to be; God!

Now, God the Almighty powerful Spirit/Energy/Source of love and everything Divine, I definitely believe in, but I do not like to use the term God very much anymore, so if I do it is quite loosely because I find it restrictive, and I will tell you why in a minute.

I believe that God exists in EVERYTHING from the trees to the sky, from the dogs to the flies, and from the humans to the Angels - for God to have created everything; everything must still retain the energy of God in it, right?

That’s why I try to see God in everything, and every situation for that matter, though I am still working on snakes, cockroaches and certain people (but I still believe on a level God exists in them).

Now, I use the term God mostly when I am speaking to other people so that they can identify what I am talking about. But within myself I like to vary the terms because “God” automatically conjures up the image of a big male figure with human features, voice and characteristics such as the need to control people, which just doesn't fit in with my view of the Ultimate anymore… if it ever did.

That is because I have chosen to be God, and even I am still subject to emotions that stem from fear and hurt, that I don’t think the Almighty, in It's highest form actually operates (even though It can if It so chooses) from.

I like to use different terms such as the Almighty Source or the Ultimate Energy, and I refer to it as "It" because in Its highest form, Source encompasses both male and female energies in a balanced state, none being more dominant or weaker than the other (for those who have questioned whether I feel disrespectful in calling Source "It").

Another reason I use different terms, is because using just one limits and restricts me, which I believe It is not. Source is an intangible, uncontrollable, uncontainable Energy that flows through EVERYTHING that exists.

I believe that It encompasses the ability to be good, loving, sharing as well as evil, hateful, greedy in amounts, but exerts Its right to choose what state It operates from. That is the best way I have come up with to explain (in words) my belief of God; who I am, who you are and who that madman in the tree behind you is!

While we are on the subject of evil and it's daddy the Devil, I just have to put forward my view point on Spirit possession; I do not believe that a Spirit entity can one day decide to take over a person's mind and body without their permission, and lead them on a killing spree.

This is because, although I believe that someone can be Spirit “possessed” without their conscious knowledge, it can never be without their permission (on a level). And permission (in this instance) doesn’t necessarily have to be saying “yes, I allow you to possess me - go on”, it can be anything from being scared of being possessed, to being worried some thing/one has actually possessed you, as well as invoking possession.

I know this because I have been possessed by Spirit entities before, but my body was never "taken over"; I was totally aware of everything I did, thought and said, I remember everything that happened, and most of all I chose everything, even to allow myself to get possessed (albeit unconsciously).

This happened just after I got out of a difficult and intense relationship that meant a lot to me, and I felt totally lost and depressed without it, so unhappy in London once again that I wanted to get out at whatever cost.

I didn't want to deal with the pain or the fact that it was over, I chose instead to obsess myself with thinking that living in London was the cause of all my problems, and that everything would be alright if I just left.

I got so focussed on getting out that I lost all interest in everything to do with London; eating, sleeping, meditating, enjoying myself, and even connecting with my Higher Self and Guides (those who had my best interests at heart). I felt as though I was incapable of feeling these things because I just wasn't supposed to be in London.

So, you can imagine the Spirits I attracted, while at such a low point in my life; Lower entities with nothing better to do than cause mischief. They would tell me to do things and I would do them, even though my gut instinct was dead against it and things turned out for the negative anyway, I would still ask for their guidance and hang onto their every word.

I was, as people later told me, possessed: I couldn't think of anything beyond trying to leave London, and did very stupid things trying to get out. My chakras were blocked, my aura riddled with holes that these Lower entities had attached themselves to me through, and was obsessed as hell.

But even though they contributed largely to how I thought and what I did, ultimately it was all my choices and decisions, because I could have simply refused to obey and listen.

Ask Your Guides (Paperback) by Sonia Choquette is a brilliant book that helped me see things clearly, it explains the whole concept of Spirit Guides and Angels very well, and I would highly recommend it.

So, I finally came back to my senses and realised the extent of what I was doing while traipsing along a very quiet street by myself at 3am dragging a suitcase containing a laptop and cash (amongst other things). I was scared as hell, praying that I wouldn't get attacked, kidnapped or raped, especially as nobody knew where I was, so if anything did happen to me it would have taken ages for anyone to find out (if ever).

When I got back home, I knew something had to change, so I started getting back in touch with my Higher Self and seeing how I had lost touch in the first place. I went back to writing my feelings and thoughts down (something I hadn't done in months), I went back to meditating daily, balancing my chakras, clearing, cleansing and healing myself, invoking Angels and getting guidance from Higher Guides and people who had my best interests at heart.

Oh, the mischievous entities tried to hold on for dear life, they even tried to trick me into listening to them by masquerading as Higher Guides, but a liar will always be exposed by the truth and light, which was what I had started to surround myself with by filling my mind with positive and empowering affirmations.

A lot of other things happened around that time, including taking a proper look at the energies and people I had in my life and (unconsciously) getting rid of the ones that were no longer contributing to my overall growth.

As a result, I lost friends, which hurt to start off with but then I realised they we were no longer on the same wave length as me so there was no point in having them in my life.

This was also around the time I discovered The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, and began putting into practice the art of being happy from within, instead of choosing material things that I thought would make me happy.

I started attracting light to myself in the form of other people/Light workers, Angels and Higher Guides. The difference between the Guides I am now in contact with, and the Lower entities I had dictating my planned escape from London, is that they guide me with love (instead of control), but always make it clear that it is my choice and therefore, my responsibility to accept the consequences my actions will bring me.

If I lean on them too much, they always step away and let me come to my own conclusions however long that takes, but I can always feel them sending me love, support and guidance in many ways, every time I need it.

A beautiful quote from them is; "we are here to guide you, not to live your life for you, but we will always be around for you, just ask".

It was also around this time that I discovered what will always go down as my saving grace; chakra dancing, which I will tell you more about a little bit later.

Anyway, I used a number of different methods at this time to heal, cleanse and clear myself of the blockages stopping me from moving out of my limited state of mind and continuing to create experiences that weren't doing me any good.

I thought to mention this in relation to spirit possession, and why when someone says "I was possessed" or "I had no choice", it doesn't fly with me anymore. Come to think of it, neither does voodoo for that matter, because I believe it only works if on some level you expect (through fear) or want (through belief) it to.

Keep yourself psychically protected if it bothers you!


The Past and the Inner Child

When you undergo healing, clearing and cleansing you will undoubtedly come across the inner child, I can recommend two wonderful books on the subject, that went a long way towards helping me deal with my traumas. A Little Light on Ascension by Diana Cooper which touches briefly on it, and In The Meantime by Iyanla Vanzant.

I also came across a wonderful free manual on the Internet that helped me put my issues into perspective; it's called Inner Bonding by Margaret Paul and Erika Chopich (details at the back).

So, after coming to terms with the fact that my obsession to leave London was a defence mechanism to protect myself from having to feel the pain the break-up was causing me. I forced myself to start dealing with it by answering the multilayered question of "what's wrong with me?", and boy did I uncover a whole new toxic dump site full of issues I didn't even know existed, especially as I thought I had dealt with the majority of them.

I found out that I was insecure, not very confident in myself or my abilities, I felt unworthy and undeserving, and this one shocked me the most: I had an inferiority complex that stemmed from how I perceived myself in the scheme of things as a black woman, which (in my mind) was two strokes against me.

I was scared as hell of telling people what I thought of them, especially if I disliked or disagreed with things they did or said to me. This was because I was afraid they wouldn't like me after that, and would hit or lash out at me in some way; I constantly felt threatened.

I would place myself at the bottom of the social pile everywhere I went and with everything I did, allowing myself to be used, abused and taken advantage of because I didn't really feel I deserved any better.

I was striving for acceptance and approval but never seemed to get it from anyone (even myself), instead I would have my vulnerabilities thrown back at me by people I trusted enough to let into my core. And one day, I even managed to find myself in an abusive (psychological and verbal) situation, which was very hard to come to terms with at first.

I had always considered myself an independent twenty-first century woman who would never allow a man to disrespect me because I was worth more than that. But to uncover all these root thoughts and feelings, and then wake up to find myself in one of the worst situations of disrespect was almost enough to make me top myself.

But I didn't do it, thanks to my rock solid belief that I could get through anything and come out on top. Slowly but surely, I worked through it all and finally reached the light at the end of the tunnel. But not before going back and seeing the truth of how I had ended up in such a rotten place to start off with.

Even though I had been operating from these emotions for most of my life I had a deep knowing that this insecure person wasn't the real me, and so went on a different journey within to discover when it had all started, why, and how I could get rid of it.

My search took me back to school in South Africa, and being bullied by my peers who would do things like steal and blame it on me, destroy other peoples' things and blame it on me, tease me about my early initiation into puberty, and accuse me of things I didn't know how to do.

I could never trust the teachers because they didn't believe a word I said, and so I never told them anything. This was due to the fact that I was outnumbered (it was my words against the bullies'), and let's not forget the little issue of my cheekiness.

It never occurred to me to tell my parents or any other adult because I didn't trust they would believe or protect me, so I went ahead and dealt with it alone.

My venture into the past also led me back (through a regression session with a wonderful therapist called Paul Williamson author of A Seeker’s Guide to Past Lives) to a life I had lived more than two hundred years ago, which a part of me was still stuck in.

During this life I was severely abused by my employer who would make me do things like kneel in front of her (automatically putting myself below people), criticise everything I did (lack of confidence in my abilities), beat me up if I said anything that she didn't agree with (fear of being attacked for honesty), amongst other things.

I walked out of that session a new woman (cliché but true), and for the first time in my life I felt free to express how I felt, and do what I wanted (provided it was from a place of truth not spite), without the fear of ridicule or violence.

I also began planting my roots in Self, and becoming master of my Universe. It was a powerful and liberating time in my life, and I have worked to keep the connection open!


What are you thinking about right now (apart from me standing on a cliff rejoicing liberation)? While you’re at it, notice what you are feeling both emotionally and physically?

Now, if you have the chance write it down or paint it, draw it or record yourself saying it; whatever way feels right to express it. Do it now (or when you get the chance), in fact go on and express what you feel and think for the next seven, twenty-one or ninety days.

Basically what I am saying is, start to take notice of what you are thinking and feeling in each moment, monitor it over a period of time and see what it tells you about who you are and how you are calling the experiences, opportunities, relationships, situations and circumstances you have going on in your life at any given time.

This is an empowering exercise, which I didn't appreciate for what it was at the beginning. It took me ages to accept that I was the one creating my experiences rather than having them happening to me, like I had believed my whole life.

Because that meant, if I was responsible for my destiny then nobody could be blamed when things didn't turn out how I wanted them to. So I understand when people are perplexed by the concept of taking responsibility for how they've created their experiences, especially as we live in a society where "God bestows upon you what He wishes and you have to shut up and put up".

However, I have no patience for people who completely refuse to take responsibility for anything in their lives and that they’ve created it. People who depend on all and sundry to look after them, make things happen, and be their saviours, so that when things don’t turn out how they like, they have all and sundry to blame (apart from themselves). "Freedom without responsibility can also be anarchy" said Cliff Richard once.

Another thing I don't agree with or believe in is blame, as Akon says "Even though the blame's on you, I'll take that blame from you", why does there have to be blame in the first place? What does blame serve but to keep you from taking responsibility and moving into forgiveness?

Without preaching I would suggest, when you find yourself blaming someone or taking blame (even if you think it is your fault), that you look at why you are blaming instead of taking responsibility for your part. This will help move you into acceptance and hopefully forgiveness, which will facilitate healing and help you set yourself free.

Many people will blame their parents for their corrupt morals, some will blame their abusive expartners for their low self-esteem, I have even come across a couple who blamed their child's drug abuse on a pop star the child had never even met… this is where things can get a bit complicated and certain lines get blurred, when it comes to collective consciousness!

Now, I can accept and even agree with the fact that subscribing to a collective conscious can influence towards a certain direction and/or belief, but you are led that way because you have (on some level) allowed yourself to be.

Look at the way I swam against the collective conscious I first subscribed to (at school), or the way someone I know was abused by a drug addict and grew up to support addicts ready to beat the addiction instead of becoming an abuser themselves.

Collective conscious is powerful, but it is not a 6"7 monster with the strength of a sumo wrestler (and a gun) fighting a 4"5 size zero woman running bear footed. You subscribe to it by choice (conscious or unconscious) so if you find it not working for you, it is your responsibility to step away from it and find another that does work, so you can subscribe to it.

Mind you though, stepping away is difficult (I can vouch for that), but not impossible; the best way of extracting yourself from a seemingly overwhelming belief is to get in touch with your own Higher truth, and maintaining the connection. Get to know yourself, and if you find that a believe system you’re tapped into isn’t working for you, keep hold of that knowing and don’t allow anything outside of it to move you!

I remember once upon a time I was so obsessed with my weight I would live on the scales, change diets like clothes and sweat out on the exercise bike for five hours visualising my fat dripping away like juice, only to be disappointed the next morning when I hadn't even lost a pound (seriously).

This was when I thought beauty was to be skinny… I can honestly say that I have never been skinny (even as a child), but what is different now is my perception of beauty and what I see as my place in it.

Yes, I am sometimes tempted to wear almost nothing and gyrate sexily in the street to attract male attention, but am quickly brought back to earth by the feelings conjured up in my gut when I visualise this; complete resistance!

But look at the messages being sent to vulnerable minds through the media about what beauty is supposed to be; skinny, half naked, and drowning in make up. So if you happen to carry excess weight (around the midriff, thigh section, upper body, whatever), prefer to wear long gypsy skirts, and break out in a rash every time you wear make up, what the hell are you supposed to think of yourself?


I use beauty as an example because it is something I am still battling with, and more often than not find myself trying to rebel against society's perception of it.

I do this by stepping away from people who call me fat, and try tell me what to and not to eat, living in baggy and unflattering clothes, not wearing make up, and deliberately keeping my hair in an unruly, un-styled, natural state (that for some reason offends some people).

I must also admit that although some of these are just my ways of lashing out at an idea I don't agree with, I genuinely dislike having too many chemicals on my skin and hair (plus I worship food).

Collective Consciousness

Collective consciousness is a vast sea of thought powerful enough to create miracles, now weather those miracles affect everyone involved positively or negatively is another story, but the important thing is that many minds thinking in alignment equals concentrated power!

Now, with my claim that God and Devil are a play on good and evil having offended so many people, I imagine it's because I've stripped away the conceived ideas behind the words, and dissociated the energies and intentions attached, leaving them as stand-alone words that are neither positive or negative but neutral labels used only for the purposes of identification.

Which means that we could all sooner (as a human race) decide to change our minds and apply the concept of "God" to the word "Tissue", and with enough intention, energy, and time it could become an accepted term... I mean, look at the word "gay".

Back in the day it used to mean "happy", and in some dictionaries it still does, but what is the general association nowadays? Think about it, if you were to walk into your parents' house beaming from ear to ear, and announced that you were gay, even before explaining why (like you'd won the lottery or something), 10-1 your parents would assume you'd be bringing home a member of your own gender and announcing a union - or something?

Words, tools, energies, abilities, and the like, on their own are absolutely neutral, it is when emotion, intention, conceived ideas and notions, etc, are applied to them that they take on meaning (and in a sense life).

For example, I know people who think tarot card readers and psychic mediums are "evil sorcerers", but I also know people (myself included) who think they are not; it is all down to perception.

As stand-alone abilities, being able to read tarot or communicating with Spirits is not positive or negative, that conception becomes applied when emotions, ideas, intentions, etc, are attached by the owners of the abilities, people making use of them, outside observers, and any/everyone who feels the need to have a say.

For example, in Season 7 of SCI: Crime Scene Investigation, there was a character called "the miniature killer", who would kill victims and then send the CSI's miniature crime scene replicas.

The killer turned out to be a psychologically disturbed young woman with an innate ability to walk into a room once and remember every detail about it. She would then go home and replicate the room in miniature.

Now, because she was functioning from a distorted point of view born of a wounded past, she used her extraordinary artistic abilities in a negative context (killing people in my view is negative), because I think she could have used them in a progressive way (like making toys for children or house-proud people).

On the other hand, there might be somebody else out there with the same abilities who uses them in a different capacity, like maybe making little towns for Guinea Pigs to be shown on credit card adverts; I must admit I would fork out a little bit of money for a miniature replica of my home, but that has nothing to do with ego, you understand.

Anyway, so what I am saying here is that the power of minds coming together and sharing an idea, intention, emotion can be powerful enough to turn an otherwise neutral term such as God or Devil into a powerful concept that generations will easily buy into and worship without question! Intention behind a term will create the ability for it to scare, uplift, inspire, create belief, fear, affect change, etc.

Now, many people have made it their missions to set out and try to change the collective conscious and good for them! But I personally prefer to put that time and energy into focusing on how the collective consciousnesses I am subscribed to are affecting me; in affect bringing it down to a level I can control.

So, with everything going on in a world where negativity slaps us from all directions, fear paralyses some from living their truths, worry causes parents untold sleepless nights, and anxiety allows diseases to take over countless bodies, it is understandably difficult to hold it down without breaking down.

So, how is it that I don't get swept away when I am not swimming against the tide (and exhausting myself) or swimming with it (and lying to myself)? By simply remaining in a state of balance, which is the first step to ascension (I've learned).

Now, a lot of people think spirituality is about sitting in a darkened room drowning in candles, cross-legged and humming a load of non-sense (I do my fair share of that), or joining a dodgy cult that demands gym membership payment as initiation (I've actually heard of one).

No, there is a lot more to it than "doing" where spirituality is concerned, it is a state of "being" which dictates how you are affected by what is going on outside of you, and not the other way around.

Just imagine you lived in a concrete jungle, bang in the middle of the city, with traffic fumes clogging up your nose, and pollution lacing up your day. Where food is genetically modified, water breeds stuff you don't know about, the weather depresses even the dogs, and misery is such a way of life some people feel lost without it.

Where everything supposedly un-spiritual is on your doorstep, surrounding you in every way you can think of, and although you have food, clothes, shelter and all the basics to survive, you don't have much in the way of spending money to actually experience the "good" stuff.

And your only claim to nature is a dodgy park where people get attacked in the middle of the day… now that's enough to make you feel just a little bit depressed, doesn’t it?

So where on earth do you even start attempting to get yourself balanced? Worry not my amateur friends, for I have done it, so can you! I have listed a number of methods that worked to get me balanced and continue to help me maintain it.

But bear in mind that although they have worked very well for me, they may not work for you; it would be best to combine, create, discover and develop until you find exactly the right remedy that works for you.

Also, don't just be confined to just this book, there is a wealth of information out there; go and find it!

Meditation. I don't remember how I came across the Eclectic Energies website (at the back) by Ewald Berkers, but there is a section on chakras which features a meditation I printed out and put into practice when I was in need of unblocking. I must say that it has contributed largely to helping me get to my current state of balance. The meditation uses mudras (specific hand positions) and sounds (such as ohm) to open your chakras. Having moved around a fair bit in my life (countries, houses, schools, jobs) I had serious difficulty getting grounded, and my base chakra was some dodgy colour I couldn't even make out, but it was blocked (that was for sure), that's why when I first did this meditation it did nothing for me and I had to keep on at it, but look at me now!

Unblocking. My blocked base chakra called attention to itself by manifesting as lower back and leg pains, problems with money and being way too affected by the physical world. So, how I started unblocking it was by writing to it and asking why it was so blocked, the answers came to me in dreams, automatic writing sessions, guidance from healers, books/magazines, communication from Spirit Guides and Angels, etc. I remember finding out why I was so broke most of the time: It was because I felt I didn't deserve money, and as a result whenever I had some, I felt compelled to get rid (spend) it. Even if I had worked for it I would be afraid that somebody (I never knew who) would realise that I didn't deserve it and would come and take it away from me. So, in affect it felt safer for me to not have money because it took away the fear of someone taking it away from me. When I find things out about myself, I deal with them appropriately (and immediately), after that it is just a matter of maintaining the flow. Do this for each of your chakras but don't get too obsessed by how long it will take you because each person has their own pace of working, and you will get there when you are ready.

Balancing Negativity. Your subconscious mind is always alert, it knows everything that is going on around you at any given moment (Darren Brown has proved that many times), especially when your conscious mind is unaware of it. And it is through your subconscious mind screwed up beliefs and distorted perceptions slither in and to contribute to overall negative behaviour. Many people (even me once upon a time) focus all their energies on getting rid of the high levels of negativity floating about them, and replacing them with nothing, which leaves them open to accumulating more; that’s practically swimming against the tide if you ask me. So, what I would suggest is switching to upping the levels of positivity before and after attempting to get rid of negativity, because in the long run your efforts will add up and become noticeable. Become aware of what you are thinking and feeling as often as you can, because then you will know when you are thinking negatively. If you happen to drift off into meaningless thought patterns once in a while, accept it, especially when you feel annoyed, angry, pissed off, etc, with yourself for it. Know that it will pass, because allowing yourself to be overwhelmed by negative emotions will not only keep you maintaining them, it will keep you from moving forward into positivity.

Affirmations/Chants/Mantras. Chanting a mantra can help integrate positivity into your consciousness, so that you can maintain balance. I also find that chanting mantras and affirmations helps me remember things, including other things I need to be chanting. I use them in all sorts of situations such as "I will not embarrass myself" at a new job, "I will not fall" when I am wearing high heels down the stairs, even "I am so cute" while looking in the mirror before a night out with the girls. Be creative with your affirmations because they all work if you want them to.

Cleaning. Imagine a dirty, untidy bedroom that has dusty cob webs licking the walls and surfaces, clothes and shoes on the floor, papers and books everywhere, and every bit of floor space is accounted for, you cannot even see it. The window is open and flies are buzzing in, so is noise from the street, the television is at its loudest, and music is blaring out deafeningly from the radio. Underneath all this, your mobile phone is ringing but you can't hear it; so what will you have to do? Perhaps start by turning down the radio, switching the television off and closing the windows to actually hear the ringing phone, then you might have to peel away the layers to reveal where the phone is, and answer it, etc... The moral of this story is, that underneath all the emotional wounds you are harbouring, the physical aches and pains you are riddled with, and the meaningless chattering your head is plagued with (layers and noise), there is a Higher state of mind (ringing phone) that is subtly and patiently calling for your attention; it will continue to do so until you become aware of it. Basically, everything you desire lies within you, and by cleansing, clearing, and healing yourself will you uncover your highest abilities to yourself.

Angels. I love these wonderful Beings, and my room is filled with pictures, figurines, cards, representations and positive energy from them. I always make it a priority to invoke a certain group of Angels on a daily basis, and I invoke them for everything from helping me find a lost sock, to helping me manage my writing career (and finances). Asking the Angels to help me tap into and maintain a certain state of mind such as love, patience or acceptance has also proved invaluable. Of course, they are always called upon to restore harmony in my relationships (with everyone from the bus driver to myself). Remember though, that you will have to ask for their help so they can help you, and you will need to help yourself to experience their assistance best (I have found).

Ritual. I enjoy rituals a lot because they give my mind focus. I work a fair bit with the Moon and its three stages; waxing which is the best time to start projects, full Moon when She (feminine energy, Sun is masculine) is most powerful, and waning which is the best time to get rid of things like habits, unhelpful mindsets, and closing down projects. At the beginning of a new cycle I work on healing myself (repairing/restoring to new) and noting down what I would like to get rid of as a result, so that when the waning starts I work on letting them go. This, done over the period of a year is extremely powerful.

Mahatma Energy. I read about this exciting energy in Diana Cooper's A Little Light on Ascension, and was reeled in by this particular line "...the Mahatma energy, also known as the Avatar of Synthesis, which is said to speed up our path of Ascension a thousand fold if we invoke it regularly…". Just as Diana Cooper was (on finding out about it), I was tremendously excited by this energy, and started by invoking it three times a day, which has dwindled down to once because I combine it with other energies and healing methods for maximum results. Feeling like I now do now, I can definitely vouch for the fact that it works! Apart from the fact that the Mahatma Energy has and continues to work for me, Diana Cooper said to tell everyone about it, so here you are; now you know.

External Guidance. Something I have found to be very affective in helping me become and remain balanced is regression therapy. This helps me eliminate past traumas by going back and re-living them in meditation with hypnosis elements (which I prefer to full blown hypnosis). I also get regular tarot readings which help put me back on track when I have veered off to the left or am overlooking something that I need a fresh perspective on. Note the importance of bearing in mind when getting tarot or psychic reading of any kind, that they are guidance only. Any good tarot or psychic reader will remind you of that, and that nothing they say is set in stone, and none of their “predictions” are irreversible. So, if you happen to not like what you hear is going to happen in your future, change your mind and deflect it. I also use Ask Your Guides Oracle Cards by Sonia Choquette, Angel Oracle by Ambika Wauters, and Angelic Abundance cards by Angela McGerr, which helped me claw my way out of depression a few years ago.

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). I would highly recommend using EFT in your healing and bid to become more balanced, because it helped me when I needed something that would take some of the pain away without having to re-live it. A friend recommended it to me and I have not looked back since (cliché I know but its true), this technique is pure gold if combined with other healing methods, provided you maintain it. See, just because you can get rid of negativity, unhelpful mindsets, Lower entities, or physical pain once, it doesn't mean that you are immune from it coming back to haunt you at a later date. Because, just as positivity vies for your attention when you are being negative, negativity will snatch at your attention when you are being positive, so make it a point to maintain balance; it is very important! I suppose the challenge of life isn't getting rid of a habit/mind-set/negative influence, it is keeping it at bay until it can no longer affect you. There is a free manual explaining what EFT is and what it can do for you on Gary Craig’s website (at the back), so download a copy for yourself and contribute to your overall healing.

Integrated Energy Therapy (IET). One afternoon I was on the Internet and came across an article on DNA Activation, which fascinated me to the point of affirming I was going to reach that heightened state of awareness before this life was over. So as my searches continued, I was led to a wonderful practice called IET which is described by The Center Of Being, Inc., 1994-2004 as " [that] releases the suppressed pain of the past by integrating it with... joy of the present moment". Can you imagine my excitement at then finding out that I could train to become an IET practitioner, which meant I could help others while at the same time helping myself? I got onto saving up for it straightaway, and was taught by Sheila Holness (a Master Practitioner) who lives practically on my doorstep (okay Hemel Hampstead, but compared to America it is). I have only qualified to the basic level but I will complete it one of these days. The amazing thing is that in using IET frequently on myself, I have tapped into other energies that combine together and do a fantastic job unblocking my traumas.

Inner Bonding. Another product of my random internet browsing that contributed a whole lot to me beginning to communicate with my inner child is Margaret Paul and Erika Chopich’s Inner Bonding. This is a free course that you can download free from the website (at the back) and use immediately. For me, it helped open up my inner child, so she could begin trusting and communicating with me. As a result I started to understand how what I had been through had and was affecting me. And through listening, being patient and determined to heal, I worked on releasing blocked energy from past traumas, and dealing with unexpressed emotions. This went on to facilitate healing, and eventually allow me to let go of the past and move on my life. Nowadays, me and “little me” are really good friends; "we" can often be seen playing hop scotch on the street, spinning in circles on the grass in the park, or excitedly scoffing £1 worth of penny sweets after crying at Alexandra Palace. Make use of this free manual, it has a lot of value.

Reading. I get taken over by a powerful almost orgasmic energy when I enter a library; the smell and sight of all those books affects me in such a way, that I like to subscribe to different libraries just so I have a wide variety of books to choose from. I love books, especially those that empower and get me thinking, the obvious ones would be on psychology, spirituality, Self-development, miracles, Angels, and, etc. But the not so obvious ones would be fiction that doesn’t scream "inner transformation". These, I would highly suggest you use your intuition to guide you towards, because you will be very surprised by what you come across. I also like to read spiritual magazines, internet articles, poems, quotes, and anything that gets me thinking positively. If during most of the day I am doing something that helps me maintain positive thinking, then after a while I won't have to work at it because it becomes will come as second nature.

Music. I enjoy listening to uplifting music such as classical, which some say is music of the Angels. Jazz always gets me riled up, especially when I hear it live and feel the instruments and energy shifting around the room. Speaking of instruments, I don't play but I love instrumentals that use fuse together and create a sound vibration so intense, it flows through my body, my mind, and connects me to my Soul. New age music does this, as well as garage music (which centres me), and I always look forward to hearing it whenever I go out clubbing. When it comes on, I automatically shut off from my immediate surroundings and connect with the collective conscious (amazing in a nightclub). Mainstream music gets a lot of ridicule for sending the wrong message to kids, and fair enough a lot of it does, but within it is a whole heap of positive messages hidden away so subtly I sometimes wonder whether the artists who perform them are actually aware of the significance what they are saying, has. For example "Free your mind of doubt and danger… Set your spirit free, it's the only way to be" - 2 Become 1 by the Spice Girls, "If you never know truth then you never know love" - Where Is the Love by the Black Eyed Peas, or even "There's a place inside of all of us where our faith in love begins. You should reach to find the truth in love the answers they're with in" - Count On Me by Whitney Houston and Cece Winans. This is also the song that my Angels and Spirit Guides use to get my attention and reassure me when I am feeling down or sorry for myself. I enjoy singing love songs to myself and replacing the "you's" with "me's", this can get a bit confusing sometimes but who cares - I love me! I sing to my Spirit helpers, who I can tell love it because of the way I sense them flocking around me when our collective favourite I Believe In You and Me by Whitney Houston comes on. Playing Mariah Carey's Butterfly over and over and over again when I went through a break up contributed to keeping my sanity from bolting also. Music is a wonderful tool for healing.

Sharing/Abundance. Sharing is the best way to affirm abundance, and I found this out in a beautiful way a few years ago. Sharing, is giving with an open heart, especially when you know the person/people you are giving to have no obvious or direct means of reciprocating your courtesy. However, giving with the sole intent of getting, is deceptive and I would rather someone didn't give (in some circumstances) if it was not with an open heart. Same with you, if you find yourself giving in resentment, hate, hurt or greed, accept it (then change it), or maybe don't give at all until you have dealt with those feelings, because it will be those feelings you are affirming and therefore, duplicating to come back to yourself.

If you find yourself stuck in life, or things just aren't going your way, look at your chakras; how are they functioning? Are they blocked? Where are the blockages? What caused the blockages? Then go on to do the necessary work to eliminate them.

Basically, energy (for example an idea) will enter your consciousness through your crown chakra and then travel through every one of them, down to the base and into the earth before it becomes manifest. So if a chakra is blocked (it could be one, three, or all seven) the energy will not get through.

Do you know someone who has been talk, talk, talking about an idea that never seems to materialise? It is not because they are incapable of doing what they say; it is because the energy (their idea) is stuck in traffic somewhere on the road to manifestation.

This is the same with energy (for example cosmic ordering) that enters your consciousness through your base chakra and has to rise up to your crown chakra and exit into the Universe. So, if you have been placing orders that just never seem to turn up, and you’re wondering whether they have even been noted, have a look at your chakras.

Also, bear in mind that there is no minimum or maximum time limit for healing and unblocking, because each person has their own pace and way of working, it is up to the individual how they will go about working on themselves to uncover their traumas, and how to deal with them.

Some will embark on their journey alone, while others will seek help and constant supervision, find out what best works for you and do it! There are lots of factors that come into play when dealing with the past and healing it (one being time, determination, commitments, etc), so be patient with and respectful of yourself.

Remember that it did not take a day to accumulate these blockages, so it will not take you a day to eliminate them; it is certainly possible, but be practical.

One last thing, do not compare yourself to other people by monitoring their growth, it is time to bring your attention within, to your Self (they are not you, like you are not them), so focus on yourself and let them worry about themselves.

The Body

Mind/Body/Spirit is what I thought I was developing, but for the longest time I felt a certain stuck-ness that wasn't accounted for. While I thought I had been dedicated and devoted enough to warrant accelerated spiritual growth by that point in my life, it just wasn't happening fast enough for the amount of time, effort and work I had been putting in to it.

It turned out that I had been unconsciously ignoring all attempts (from Angels and Spirit Guides) that brought my attention towards the fact that I was neglecting my body. And it was after a chance meeting with an Ayurvedic doctor that I began to see the truth; my body was undernourished, riddled with pains, full to the brim with undigested food, underexercised, and as good as dehydrated.

I was very saddened by how much I had been mistreating it; while blissfully unaware of the extent of damage I was doing to it. Thankfully, the Ayurvedic doctor introduced me to the enema (H52 John Higgins Syringe), and I haven't looked back since (really, I've fallen in love and moved in with it).

Once upon a time I thought that spiritual advancement meant giving up physical pleasures such as eating junk food, drinking alcohol, having sex, watching television, and all manner of things that made being human enjoyable. And maybe moving to a monastery in the Far East and living on rice and water, which I wasn't ready to do yet.

This must have been part of the reason why my advancement took seven years instead of less, considering how dedicated and devoted (on and off) I had been. And there were times I had deliberately stunted my growth when I felt I was moving too fast, because I wasn't ready to give up physical pleasures yet, and didn't want to be forced to either.

The irony of this situation was that when I finally thought "sod it I need to advance", and then affirmed I was ready to give up physical pleasures in order to ascend, I found that I didn't have to give up anything, in fact it turned out that my enjoyment of things became heightened, what changed was my perception.

I realised that I only wanted to indulge in things that somehow contributed to my overall growth and facilitated my spreading love and light. If they didn't, I didn't want to have anything to do with them; I became discriminating for my highest good (I couldn't find a better phrase for it).

I enjoy physical pleasures, and am going to continue doing so without guilt, shame or deprivation until I decide that becoming a health freak is more important than gluttony, lust or sloth.

In the meantime, I make an effort to balance the negative affects the junk I put into my body has on it, by upping my intake of things that contribute to the positivity levels (first step remember).

And this is what I do:

Diet. I am a slave to junk food and have a soft spot for sweets, but consumed in moderation and then balanced with foods that actually aid my body rather than drain it, currently works well for me while my love affairs continue. So what I do is eat fibre in the form of fruits, vegetables, Weetabix, Bran Flakes, and the like, drink hot water after eating (and when I crave it - which is not good but I’m working on that). I hydrate myself with cold water during the day, and make a conscious effort to chew food thoroughly until it is a paste before swallowing it. The benefits of this are that I get full quickly and on smaller portions, but I also get hungry quickly so that I find myself eating smaller portions more frequently during the day. This has surprisingly resulted in steady weight loss (when I want it, without the loosely hanging skin hanging about), but mostly it keeps my weight consistent. De-toxing once in a while is also very helpful; I do a ritual fast to giving my digestive system a break for a day or two, where I eat nothing but drink hot and cold fluids, but only do it for two days max. Other de-toxing methods include eating nothing but fruit and vegetable for a few days, or a month of eating foods as close to their natural state as possible. Carol Vordaman's 28 Day Detox Diet video and Becca Thomas' Planning a Detox came in handy when I was planning mine. For two weeks or so after starting a detox, I always seem to smell fried chicken everywhere I go (even a hospital toilet), but after about three weeks I cannot even smell (ok, eat) junk without getting an excruciating headache, which puts me off the whole junk experience… only for a little while.

Enema. After I read up on what happens in the colon when food is undigested and how food from months ago can still be stuck in there, I was disgusted enough to administer an enema daily for about two weeks. I must say that this worked wonders to boost the healing I was undergoing at the time, I felt the knots tangled up in my solar plexus uncoil, and the uncomfortable pulls I used to be lumbered with disappear altogether. This physical healing is also very de-toxing, and helps to unblock the digestive system which (to me) mirrors my life and spiritual growth. Issues, situations, challenges and people (food) enter my life (body) to help facilitate growth (nourishment), but if I don't deal with them properly (chew food, work metabolism, etc) they become stuck (lack of stool) and I become lumbered with issues (get overweight and unhealthy). So by using an enema I keep my intestines clear so that food and energy can flow freely without getting stuck and creating blockages and backlog.

Liver. Because of my previous alcohol problem and continued love affair with sweet wine, I have to take extra care of my liver, which is tired, overworked and underpaid. So to aid it along and as an incentive to keep it working for me I like to juice a lemon into my hot water in the mornings and eat the rest of it, take milk thistle capsules with my meals, and administer a lemon water enema, which altogether work like a charm! Also, if you can get hold of a picture of a healthy liver (Internet/medical books) or something that represents a liver to you, put it up on your wall and send positive energy to it on a daily. You can give your liver the healing boost it needs to repair itself that way (alongside more traditional methods - like stop drinking). This is probably not a suggestion I should be making, especially with my belief that prevention is better than cure, but administering a soap enema can be a pretty affective cure for a hangover, because it means you don't have to stuff yourself with greasy foods that clog up your intestines.

Clean Body. Keeping your body clean internally and externally is very important (even though junk food doesn’t help), because when everything is in good working order, you can quickly tell when something is off (or dirty) so that you can deal with it straight away. I brush away dead skin cells before a bath or shower, thoroughly scrub the soles of my feet to clear the energy points located there, keep short and polished (with a nail brush) nails, floss my teeth before brushing, and use the sauna to sweat out impurities stuck in my skin. I keep my clothes, shoes, bed linen and all things that come into regular contact with my skin clean, so that positivity levels can be maintained.

Exercise. I don't like going to the gym, I am not fond of cycling, I get bored with DVDs, and am allergic to running, so my options for keeping fit and healthy are slightly limited (by choice of course). I must also admit that I have simultaneously passed the stage of exercising to lose weight and haven't actually gotten back there yet, which simply means that the little exercise I do is to kick start my lazy metabolism into gear, and not to shed extra pounds (though if I do, I don’t complain). So, I walk to as many places as I can, which works well because nobody watches me jiggle or sweat. I enjoy swimming, but don't get to do it as much as I would like because the baths I have access to make me shudder; they breed things I don't want to know about, and my hair and sensitive skin tend to break out in “stuff” whenever I take a trip down to the swimming pools. When I ritual dance at home, I do it to a number of tracks so that I get at least twenty minutes of exercise a day. The key is to have fun or at least incorporate something else to not make it seem like exercise (but if you like a good workout to feel like exercise, then good for you). A good example of this is yoga, which helps me release rigidity in mind and body, helps me to de-stress and become more relaxed, centres me by bringing attention to the body and therefore, the moment, plus I find it a great physical expression of my spirituality.

Sex. Every person you have sex with leaves you connected to them by an invisible cord in your sacral chakra, so if the act leaves you feeling regretful, guilty, ashamed, dissatisfied, etc, fertile breeding ground for sexual blockages develops and stunts your creativity and sexual flow. For this I would suggest beginning by writing to your sacral chakra, asking it why it is blocked, and being open to its answers which may come in any number of ways; dreams, intuitions, random conversations, etc. Then couple this with sexual release, by either masturbating and giving your body the loving attention it deserves, or getting with a partner who you trust will help you liberate yourself sexually, without leaving you feeling guilty, ashamed or experiencing a whole host of negative emotions. You could also try Tantra or a Yoni Massage (ladies), but be discriminating about who you let near you, because there are some shady characters out there masquerading as genuine, consult your intuition if you need leading to the right one.

Rest. I love to sleep, except when I am working on a project that I thoroughly enjoy, because then I get so consumed I find it hard to take breaks or sleep, because for some reason I think I am wasting precious writing time and using it in-constructively. Resting doesn't just mean cooping yourself up in bed all day, it means relaxing and de-stressing your mind and body. This could be doing things like taking a stroll in the park or by the river, lounging around on the sofa sipping tea and watching DVDs, or even taking a weekend break out to the country either alone or with company. Basically, giving your mind and body the time and opportunity to rest and recuperate, otherwise it will just take the time out by burning out and forcing you be bed-bound (broken ankle, anxiety issues, panic attack, exhaustion). Personally, I prefer prevention, to scrambling around for a cure when things go wrong; when your body is calling out for a rest, I take it!

Having Fun. For me this is when I am so engrossed in an activity that nothing outside of it matters, when hours tick by like minutes and my attention is thoroughly absorbed by what I am doing. Usually when I am having fun I am open and at my most receptive, that’s when receive helpful tid bits about projects I am working on, people I am interacting with, and even ideas and guidance on a future that turns out to be pure gold! As I mentioned before, I love to laugh; real stomach pinching, floor rolling laughs that release tension stuck in my body, having fun is a priority in my life.

Expression. James Morrison says in Wonderful World; "Sometimes I feel so full I just come spilling out", I have now trained myself to not get too full anymore because of how important it is to express my emotions. This helps clear me of blockages, and if done on a regular basis can help maintain a balanced flow. What I like to do alongside writing (my default for everything) my problems, issues, challenges or feelings down, is to talk about them with myself (aloud) or with someone else (friends, family, therapist, anyone who will listen). I am also no longer afraid of crying (even in public) and on many occasions have experienced an invaluable manifestation of something immediately after a good weep. Screaming and shouting while harassing a punch bag (or pillows) is underrated, and is especially therapeutic for tame, grounded individuals like myself, who tend not to lose their tempers very quickly. Bursting into random (and tuneless) song is also a great way of expressing an emotional heart, and of course drawing pictures and dancing around, painting and cooking express the Soul just as well; see what you are drawn to.

Ritual. I enjoy creating rituals, which I follow as close to daily as possible, because it helps me to monitor my progress and open up to the Divine. As spontaneous and hungry for excitement as I am, I like to have some sort of routine to keep me grounded or bring me down to earth when I am floating about. And although my rituals have changed and evolved during the years, my reason for them has remained the same. And I prefer to do rituals in the mornings because that helps me begin my day in a positive way. I particularly enjoy waking up at 4am when it is quiet and romantic, but I am flexible when the situation calls for it. Ritual, done at the same time each day/week, etc opens me up to receiving information at that time, so as much as I prefer morning rituals I like to vary them around the day, because that makes me open at more times, even though the strongest is when everybody (but me) is asleep. Here is my current ritual:

- Set up. I gather my props that are kept in various places around the room, this is because once I start the process of collecting, I begin to feel a shift within me. My props are; a pen, my journal, my therapy journal, the Ask Your Guide cards, my crystals, an Angel figurine, a candle, my Cosmic order list, the CD player, and my Earth Dance CD.
- Sit. When actually meditating I prefer to sit cross-legged on the floor, but to write I sit on the bed or a chair.

- Pick a Card. I close my eyes and ask "What do I need to know today?" or "What is the theme for today?" and then pick a card; whatever I pick I try to follow that day.

- Express. In my journal I write the events of the day or the previous day, what I am thinking, planning, random thoughts, etc. Then I switch to the therapy journal in which I write what I wish to change, get rid of, what is bothering me, what I wish to heal, clear, cleanse, etc; I don't write things I would want to keep because when the waxing Moon rolls round, I burn everything and then start anew with the cycle. I will write and write until I am completely out of things to express (for that day), this could take two minutes or two hours; it depends on my flow.

- Invoke. When I invoke my Spirit Guides and Angels I like to hold the crystals in both hands (which I keep in a black bag and carry around with me) to charge them with Angelic energy. When they are all there, I connect to their energy by expressing my gratitude for their support, guidance, assistance, etc, and ask for it to continue.

- Meditate. I hold the crystals during meditation to charge them with my energy and intention while I connect to the Universe through my crown chakra and ground through my base by using imaginative cords. Then I open my chakras using the Eclectic Energies opening meditation.

- Mahatma Energy. I then invoke the Mahatma Energy and let it flow through me while my chakras are open.

- Ground Energy. There is always an energy shift when I meditate, so I always ask the Earth to take the excess from me and neutralise it for future growth, before I send it on down to ground myself.

- Pray. I found two wonderful prayers on the Internet; one is called A Light worker Prayer whose author is unknown and the other is called The Warrior’s Prayer by Stuart Wilde (websites for both at the back), I say them with passion and meaning before closing down my chakras.

- Ritual Dance. Before starting the CD I affirm what the dance is for; gratitude, clearing, manifestation, expression, grounding, etc. This is done to Randy Tico's Earth Dance CD, which I like to call on the Spirits of dance to join me for. When they come, my room feels bigger and fuller before I am transported (imaginatively) to a forest. When I come back I am well energised. Yes, it takes a lot more than an hour to complete this ritual, which is not always practical when I have work or commitments during the day, so I get flexible by either starting at 4am, doing the whole thing in the evening, cutting it down, or breaking it up through the day, whatever feels right. Though I do try and perform it all at least once a week.

- Chakra Dancing . This class (details at the back) starts with us being taken through a short grounding meditation (so as not to fly away with the fairies and find it hard to come back down), and then we all visualise the room surrounded by protective energy to keep negativity without and positivity within. The music consists of seven different pieces that all vibrate at chakra levels, to balance, cleanse, clear them of blockages and energise to promote flow. Each week a different chakra is focused on, and its relative piece is played over and over and over again, until the chakra is cleared. The connection and unity within the room heightens everyone's awareness, and we are all left buzzing afterwards. Also, physical manifestation of the chakra focused on in the previous week happens during the following week, for example after clearing my base chakra I learned a strong lesson on what being grounded actually is, and that had nothing to do with material things, which I lost of few of as a result. Combined with your own healing work at home, this class can uncover great capabilities within you, and assist in realising your greatest potential!

- Visualisation . Before I leave the house I like to ask for protection and then visualise reflective (to mirror negativity back to its source) and protective energy around me, this works to keep outside negativity from getting in, and inside positivity from leaving, while I am attracting more. I also like to ask that what left with me stays with me, so that I don't lose any of my valuables on my travels. When I happen to be sharing recycled air with nasty people on the bus or train, I am quick to put an energy balloon around myself when they inconsiderately cough with their mouths open (I value my health). When I am feeling down or drained, I ask the Angels to vacuum away my woes and smooth down my aura so that holes don't call back those mischievous entities I once got rid of. I use visualisations when taking a shower or a bath, asking the water to wash away negativity, and I bathe with my crystals, imagining them sharing their energies/qualities with me and absorbing stray negativity. It is then important to cleanse the crystals on a regular basis (because they retain energy as well) by soaking them in salt water and exposing them to Sun and/or Moonlight. Get creative with your visualisations because they can work wonders for you.

- Appearance . It took me a long time to begin loving and accepting myself however, during my journey to this liberating state of mind I went through a whole lot of internal turmoil that was reflected in the way I neglected my appearance. This was because I thought "what is the point of looking good outside when I am crumbling with self-loathing inside?" And there was a period when I wondered what the actual point of buying new clothes was, because they would only be worn outside for a few hours and then taken off again at the end of the day. So, on the rare occasions I did make an effort to dress up and put on make-up, and someone made an unsavoury comment about how I looked, I would cry myself to sleep and be put off dressing up for a while after that. Unpretty by TLC says "You can buy your hair if it won't grow, you can fix your nose if he says so. You can buy all the make up that man can make. But if you can't look inside you, find out who am I, too. Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty", what a true statement! I used to think that making an effort to look good was a way of covering up what was really felt inside (unpretty), so during my work on the Self I almost religiously made no effort to look good on the outside because I didn't want to be (in my mind) a well wrapped but empty shell with no substance. Nowadays, I enjoy dressing up because I feel damn good inside, and that makes me feel of substance on the outside when I am dressed up, and if someone says something unsavoury about my looks, I accept it (if it doesn't bother me) but don't let it ruin my life anymore.

- Colour Co-ordination . When I am working on energising a certain chakra or strengthening a quality associated with one, I like to wear clothes or carry accessories that radiate that chakra's colour. For example, when I was working on my base for getting grounded I was drawn to wearing a lot of reds, browns and earthy colours. When I was working on healing my emotions I would wear green (especially a top I wore religiously for dancing). And while uncovering love I as good as lived in my pink tracksuit bottoms and wore a pink pair of earrings everywhere I went. Cheap or expensive, a garment can be charged with the right intention you want to use it for. More often than not the colours I wearing on a daily basis will reflect what I am working on or strengthening.

So there you have it, my idea of personal spirituality and how I work it in my life. As I said at the beginning, take what you will from it and leave the rest to be.

If you feel that nothing in here appeals to you, then go out and find out what does; spirituality is about you; what you like, what you resonate with, what you think, and who you are!

Start by getting to know you and from there everything will flow, believe me it took seven years but eventually I got there, even though I am still growing - that will never stop.

It doesn't have to take you that long (or short, depending on how you look at it) but it is ultimately up to you how long (or how short) your journey is.

Happy uncovering!