Amock Comedy Magazine 5
Hello, my friends, my name she is Dilbo Coxni, and I am finest
standing-up comedian of Azerbaijan. I write guest column in
Amock to be getting the international recognition which I am deserve. Also, maybe, worldwide TV show and
lunch with John Cleese. Silly walk is funny, yeah, and don’t mentioning the war. In Azerbaijan I have own TV
show. Is called, It’s Dilbo, and is very funny. Especially comedy bits.
I am start with good joke as is important to make good first impression. This wisdom my father, Dojun Coxni,
is teaching me. He is chief torturer in secret police and is presented with Gold Pliers Award by International
Association of Interrogators. He say to me, “Dilbo, is important to make good first impression. That is why I
am always introducing myself to suspect with blow to head from nail-studded club.” I am remember this
because my father is wise man, also good with head butt.
Anyway, my joke she is about why pervert is crossing road.
But first I am digress as my sister, Shelzi and my brother, Torgo, is come into room. I know British audience is
liking this digress as is done by Scottish half of Two Ronnies comedy combo, Billy Connolly.
“Cousin Rinko is weird,” Shelzi say, “I am know this because he does not watch me in bath like other men in
village who peep through window. Maybe he is the gay.”
I am appal because the man who like the bottom of other man is forbid in Azerbaijan and punishment is death
by being well hung.
But Torgo is disagree. “Rinko is weird because he like goat too much. I see him.”
“Oh, my God” Shelzi is gasp, “He will get arrest.”
“No,” Torgo say, “Is nanny goat, so he not gay.”
“Is hardly even pervert,” Shelzi is comment, “No man can resist attractive goat. I am waste my time flaunt my
body in bath when Goat Watch on BBC 2.”
“Oh, Shelzi, is not true,” I say in trying to console, “Is many men prefer woman to goat.”
“Nonsense,” she say with big pout, “All men of Azerbaijan they prefer the farmyard animal and not woman.”
“And women of Azerbaijan is no different!” Torgo exclaim.
“Is lie!” Shelzi shriek with stamp of dainty foot, “Women of Azerbaijan is lady!”
“I see how you look at Balthazar, champion bull of dairy herd,” Torgo say slyly.
“He damn handsome chap,” Shelzi answer, with flutter of eyelashes.
“Is a tragedy for our people,” I interject, “All this desire for the beasts of the field when sexy fun should be with
Torgo agrees. “Dilbo is right. Only last week a man is caught crossing the road ensconced in a chicken.”
“You are the shit,” I am say, very angry, “You have ruin my joke.”