Amock Comedy Magazine 4 HTML version
SKIING PHAROAHS REVEAL
SECRETS OF THE PYRAMIDS
Egyptian pyramids were originally intended
to be dry ski slopes. This is the claim made
by Professor Ali Makhtoum of Cairo’s Centre
for Creative Thinking. It is based on recently
discovered papyri which are said to detail a
conversation between Pharaoh Artenaten III
and his son, Prince Ankhorsaway. The
Professor has translated these documents
and made them available to Amock. We
print the dialogue below.
Prince: Hey, pops, I wanna go skiing this
Pyramid by liber
Pharaoh: Indeed, junior, what is this skiing?
Pharaoh: Practice where? I told you we don’t have no
mountains. We got desert, we got Nile, but no
Prince: It’s where some guys slide down a mountain on
boards strapped to their feet.
Pharaoh: An odd pastime. But you know, son, there
are no mountains in Egypt.
Prince: I could ski down sand dunes.
Pharaoh: How high are these Swiss Alps?
Prince: Heck, I know that. I’ll have to go to the Swiss
Prince: Oh, about 15,000 feet.
Pharaoh: I don’t think we got a sand dune that high.
Pharaoh: The Swiss Alps? They are many leagues
away and it would cost a great deal to get there.
Prince: It’s just so I can get the feel of gliding downhill
Prince: I’ll take my own chariot.
Pharaoh: What the hell’s snow?
Pharaoh: It would still be expensive. A prince of Egypt
cannot travel alone, you would require a retinue.
Warriors to guard you, concubines to soothe you to
sleep. It cannot be.
Prince: Frozen water.
Pharaoh: Now you’re taking the piss. Where am I going
to get frozen water?
Prince: Oh, heck, pops, all the guys from Ur of the
Chaldees are going.
Prince: You’re always being negative with me. If you
don’t sort something out I won’t have you mummified
once you croak.
Pharaoh: But you’ve never skied. You’ll fall over all the
time and make us Egyptians look stupid.
Pharaoh: Shit! Okay, leave it with me, I’ll fix up
somewhere for you to practice, but no snow.
Prince: I could practice before I go to Switzerland.
Prince: Thanks, pops. Oh, and don’t tell Mummy.