Amock Comedy Magazine 3 HTML version

Capricorn - December 22- January 20
Aquarius - January 21 – February 19
Cheese will be your downfall this
month. Avoid it like the plague.
Avoid the plague too.
You will meet a tall, handsome, man
called Eric. He is convicted fraudster
so don’t introduce him to your sister.
Or your brother, as has tendencies.
Pisces - February 20 – March 20
Aries - March 21- April 20
Tired of being lonely, Pisces? Don’t
worry, your time has come. The one
for you is right round the corner. No,
not that one, the other corner.
Your job troubles are only just
beginning. Best advised to take a few
weeks off till things calm down. Try
and find a bus to throw yourself under,
but carefully.
Taurus - April 21- May 21
Gemini - May 21- June 21
A car headrest will mean something,
but its unclear what. It might actually
be an air-bag, but it’s definitely
something to do with cars. Wait, is
that a steering wheel?
Your great grand-mother has a
message for you. She wants to know
where you’ve hidden the cherries.
Cancer - June 22 – July 23
Leo - July 24 – August 23
There is no such thing as too much
soap because cleanliness is next to
being very, very clean. Try it, smelly.
A horsey month for you, Leo. Not too
sure if you should back one in a race or
slap a slice on a sandwich.
Virgo - August 24 – September 23
Libra - September 24- October 23
Not the right time of year for you to
take up naturism, I’m afraid. Next
month, maybe, when the hair’s grown
She is the right one for you, believe
me. Check her bank-book. Check her
Scorpio - October 24 – November 22
Sagittarius - November 23 – December
The stars hold great things for you,
especially if you’re a waitress and
married to a man called Paul.
Time to be afraid, very afraid and very,
very afraid. Two mice, both called
Bert, are out to get you.