Amock Comedy Magazine 3 HTML version

Newly discovered documents have revealed the truth behind the
French resistance to German occupation in the Second World War.
Once the Wehrmacht moved in on Paris in 1940 the Resistance
immediately appointed Mlle Fifi La Duvet as the head of opposition to
the aggressors. Mlle La Duvet was the most celebrated madame in
the city and she put out a call to all the strumpets of la belle France to
rally to the cause. Her plan was simplicity itself, she would have her
girls screw the Nazis to death.
“No Nazi could live with my girls,” she boasted, “The Teutonic male is
not built to deal with the demands of a Gallic woman in her prime. Of
course the Gestapo soon found out what we were up to and informed
Berlin. Thereafter they only sent their girly-boy storm-troopers to Paris
as man-love was verboten in the Fatherland because Hitler feared it
would become too popular. They, of course, were immune to the
charms of my girls but we would not be beaten. We called on Saucy
Pierre, our celebrated male prostitute. We asked him if he could kill
a man and he said, ‘Eventually’. Three thousand of the Boche he
killed, single-handed and he deserved the Croix de Guerre but De
Gaulle only gave him a kiss on both cheeks and his phone number.”
Every day, throughout the democratic world, men and
women are putting themselves up for political office and
failing miserably. Whether it’s local, regional or national
elections, these poor souls put their life and reputation
on the line and are being rejected by the electorate.
? Cat Burglars 19%
? Proctologists 34%
? TV Weathermen 6%
? Restaurant Waiters 8%
But have you ever wondered what happens to these
failures? What role can they possibly play in society
once their ambitions have been so cruelly thwarted?
? Barmen 2%
? Street Sweepers 6%
In an effort to discover their fate Amock has conducted
a small survey to establish where these losers end up
and you may find the results surprising.
? Dog-catchers 8%
? Plumbers 11%
? Rest-room attendants 12%
? Sewage Workers 14%
? Hookers 19%
You may find that these percentages do not add up to
100%. This is due to the fact that we hired a failed
politician to do the survey.
? Shoe Salesmen 8%