Amock Comedy Magazine 3 HTML version

A spokesman for the Erotibots Corporation has admitted that a software glitch may make their best-selling love
robots turn gay. The bug was detected after the husband of one of their customers, Mr Norman Bendix, was
assailed by a Model PXIII which had been making love to his wife but turned his attentions to Mr Bendix when
he entered the bedroom.
“It came as a helluva shock,” admitted Mr Bendix, “One minute Bob, that’s what Glenda calls her machine, was
astride her and the next he was on top of me. Admittedly, I was naked, but that was because I was looking
forward to a session with Labelle, that’s my electric gal. I tried to resist, but he was too strong for me and had
me face down in seconds.”
The Erotibots spokesman said they had never encountered this
problem before and apologised profusely for any distress that might
have been caused to Mr Bendix.
“The PXIII is one of our better endowed models and it must have
been uncomfortable for Mr Bendix. Unfortunately Mrs Bendix did
not opt for the self-lubricating function.”
Despite this Mr Bendix has no plans to seek compensation from
Erotibots. “To tell the truth, it’s opened my eyes,” he said, “It wasn’t
exactly unpleasant and I may have to explore that side of my
After extensive tests Erotibots announced that there was nothing
fundamentally wrong with their products but that the malfunction
could not have occurred without input from someone with specific technical knowledge.. “We suspect that one
of our software engineers has done this, either as a gag, or as a political statement. There are strong feelings
among the gay community about our failure to launch a gay range of machines. I can assure them that this
matter is in hand and we will have male homosexual, machines, both active and passive, on the market by the
end of the year.”
The erotic robots market has grown by leaps and bounds since the first electronic sexual partner was introduced
20 years ago. That was barely capable of an up and down motion but as the technology has improved modern
machines are virtually indistinguishable from real humans, both visually and in their performance. This has led
to a great change in the ways they are perceived and used. Originally they were bought by lonely individuals
who could not find a partner but, more recently, their usage has evolved to married couples who buy one each,
of either sex, to enable them to have sex with a different partner without breaking their marriage vows. This, in
turn, has led to the development of robot swapping parties, where couples meet up to swap mechanical partners
and enjoy each other’s robots.
Industry sources claim that Erotibots are sitting on a bisexual model which could satisfy both male and female
customers, fearing that this would cut their sales, but this was denied by the company. “We rarely find that both
male and female partners in a relationship have the same requirements when it comes to a lover. A bisexual,
all-purpose machine would have a very limited market.”
Bob has been returned to Erotibots for reprogramming and a 100,000 mile service.
Model PXIII or Bob