Amock Comedy Magazine 2 HTML version

“Have patience, sir,” Holms said, “If she is meeting the fellow on these very premises I shall discover her.”
“Well, see that you do.” He turned and hobbled from the room.
“A changed manner from when we first met him,” Holms commented.
“Indeed, from wishing only for his wife’s future happiness he now does indeed seem intent on some violence.
But this smoking, that points towards our Latin friends, I think.”
“Perhaps, but we only have his word for what he says he observed.” Holms logged off from the computer and
switched it off. “But Sir Clifford is right, to an extent. I had hoped that my facilities would pick up some hint
by mere observation but it seems I must exert myself with some active investigation.”
“The game’s afoot then?”
“The game indeed. Which do you have a mind for, roulette or vingt et un?”
The young homosexual, before he ‘comes out’, is often required to live in a
closet and this can pose problems for those with little or no construction skills
for ready-made closets are generally designed for housing clothes rather
than the sexually confused.
It must also be taken into account that while the young gay chap is in the
closet he will require it to provide all the facilities of the average habitation,
that is a living area, bedroom, kitchen and bathroom. It may well be said of
every Englishman that his home is his castle, but it could also be said of every hidden homosexual that his home
is his closet. But, unless he is in the building trade it is unlikely that he has the plumbing, electrical and other
accomplishments required to do the work, though he may have contacts who can provide these through his work
in interior design.
That does not mean that, though he may be no architect, he cannot offer some hints in the design and construction
process. The most important feature of the closet should be the door. It is though this, after all, that he will make
his exit (or entrance) when he finally comes out. Glitter, mirrors and flashing lights are all permissible, possibly
with fanfares to be played through hidden loudspeakers.
The interior of the closet will necessarily be cramped, but this does not mean that our young fag should lack
comfort. The trick here is to build upwards rather that outwards. A bedroom above the kitchen will benefit from
the heat rising from cooking and an en-suite bathroom is almost mandatory. A couch with TV and stereo affixed
to the arms should be adequate to serve as a living area and will prove to be beneficial when entertaining.
Despite all this, the aim should be to make the closet less than ideal, for it should be every homosexual’s aim to
come out into the bright daylight and declare their love for Rock Hudson. The closet existence is only a temporary
feature and though, once in a penthouse, it is recalled fondly, it should never be the height of the young
homosexual’s ambition.
Pic by Kai Hendry