Amock Comedy Compendium HTML version

“They say old Angus is thinking of taking up
the bar. “He is an American gentleman,”
the nudism,” Sandy said.
Brenda explained, “A reporter or something.
Fergus grunted. “Man, man, the nudism, at his
From Idaho where the potatoes come from.”
age. He’ll catch his death of cold.”
They lifted their glasses in an expression of
They were sat in the snug bar of The Stag
gratitude to their benefactor and were
Hotel on the Hebridean island of Uraigh and
rewarded with a gracious nod of the head.
the biting, Atlantic wind rattled the windows.
“Of course it will come as a great shock to
“No, no, he’s not a fool, old Angus,” Sandy
Angus’s wife, the nudism, her being a lesbian.”
explained, “He’s not
“Tut, tut, I’m surprised at
attacking the nakedness like
you,” Sandy retorted, “Fine
a madman, he intends to
well you know she’s only a
acclimatise his body to the
part-time lesbian. At the
lack of garments.”
weekends she’s devoted to
Fergus took a sip of his beer,
men’s trousers.”
which was rapidly losing its
Fergus looked abashed.
fizz. “Ah, acclimatisation,
“True, true. A fine woman.
that’s a wise course of
Her fruitcake is not be
action. What way is he
sneezed at.”
doing the acclimatising?”
They sat in silence for a
“One item of clothing at a
while, enjoying the warmth
time. He came out this
of the blazing peat fire.
morning without a sock.”
“They say the Laird is to be
“He always was a cautious
building a pyramid,” Fergus
man. At that rate it’ll be
said finally.
August by the time he gets
“Young Ranald always was
down to his semmit.”
an ambitious chap. There will be a grant in it,
Sandy nodded sagely. “Aye, but November
no doubt.”
when he gets down to his underpants and then
“Oh, more than one. There will be the design
there will be trouble.”
and then the building of the thing itself, and
Brenda the barmaid brought over two fresh
I’ve heard he’s getting some European Union
pints and placed them before the two, old,
money for its artistic qualities.”
grizzled, veterans of the isles. Their
“What way will it be artistic?” Sandy asked.
questioning looks brought the response that
“It is to be spherical,” Fergus explained, “It will
the beers had been bought for them by the
be the only spherical pyramid in the world and
large, florid gentleman, perched on a stool at
will put those Egyptians in their place with their