The things we talk about is a blog that is multifaceted, we have an array of topics that we choose to talk about and share with our readers. We are open to different ideas and view on these various topics. One of our favorite topic as it is for so many of our readers is none other than “relationships.” Many of us at some point in our lives will find ourselves in a relationship and unfortunately there may be some difficult questions that we may need to ask ourselves about the relationships that we are in. Here at the things we talk about, we try our best to tackle some of these questions and provide an answer to them. What you are about to read, may shed some light on some of these questions you’ve asked yourself or will maybe one day ask yourself or what you’re about to read, you may completely disagree with or maybe have a different take or opinion on, which is fine as well. Don’t hesitate to check out our blog and write your thoughts and comments about these different topics. The things we talk about simply wants to reach out and help anyone and everyone while having fun at the same time. We hope that you will enjoy our compilation of thoughts on relationships and invite a friend to read and share in this free e-book. Have a blast and let love take you to new heights!
Xoxo, The things we talk about!So many people can testify to this, they get into a relationship with someone, sacrifice their time, energy and money and then later on realize that this wasn’t the right person for them for some reason or another. So many people tend to get into a relationship without really analyzing or thinking about what the potential outcome may be. They simply just give everyone or almost everyone they meet a chance hoping that they will be the one. Big mistake!
It’s important before you even start to declare your love for someone that you really take a look at who they are. Take notice on how they react to certain situations, look to see if they get angry easily. Find out if they’ve ever cheated on anyone. Ask about them! Then this way you can prevent yourself to some extent from later realizing that you should have never even been with this person. Also don’t let lust lead you into thinking that you are in love and for you to act solely upon that. Let your heart and your mind lead you to finding the person that you deserve to be with and that deserves to be with you.
Eddy and Maria were about to celebrate their 4 year anniversary in a few months. Maria was ecstatic because she was certain that this would be her last year as an unmarried woman and that finally her boyfriend of four years would finally decide to pop the question. One night a few months before their anniversary, Eddy went out with his friends, got drunk and made some mistakes that could have altered the rest of his life. He found himself waking up, naked next to a girl that he had only met the night before at some bar. It took him a few minutes to collect his thoughts and realized that he cheated on the love of his life and had reached a point of no return. Eddy went home ashamed of course and immediately faced the music by telling his girlfriend, Maria that he had cheated on her. Maria was outraged of course, at that very moment she felt like her entire universe had fallen apart.
Cheating, a very common disease that we find infiltrating relationships all around the world. This is something that can cause relationships to crumble and never be rebuilt. 6 When a person cheats on their partner, you not only cause this person pain, agony, heartache, and grief but you also run them at a risk to lose their life, if you are involved with them sexually. If a woman or a man finds out that they’ve been cheated on, should they or shouldn’t they take their partner back. Is telling the person that you won’t allow this happen enough? What can you do to prove that this isn’t going to be a common trend in your relationship? Cheating isn’t something that you can take back, it’s a scar that will stay forever. Forgiveness though is something that should be a part of every relationship, but don’t be mistaken, just because we can forgive doesn’t mean that we will forget. It’s important that if a person decides to stick it out with their partner through these difficult times, that you take the time to find trust in the person again but you also learn to let go of the past and not hold these things against them forever.
Relationships can fail for a number of reasons. One of the most common reasons is definitely because of communication. You see, many times in a relationship, the women tend to have more to say than the men. Let’s just say they spend more time analyzing every detail in their relationships than most guys do. Men don’t tend to pay attention to much detail; they just want the women to say what they feel in less than 15 seconds so they could go about their business. Most women need way more time than that. Then there’s the need of attention, most women need their men to pay more attention to them, and for many men this is probably one of the hardest tasks to accomplish. They would much rather be spending the time paying attention to other things, e.g. a football game then taking time to consider their women’s needs. One of the other reasons why a relationship may fail is because there is a lack of understanding happening. It’s important that when you get into a relationship, that you take the time to get to know and understand your partner, get a feel for what it is they like and the things they don’t like. One thing you don’t want is to get on is your partner’s nerves. You want to build a relationship where if you ladies see that your man doesn’t feel like having a conversation then you know to come back at a later time.7 Men if you see that your girl is need of some one on one time, then take the time to give it to her, or least let her know that you are thinking about her.
There are so many more reasons why a relationship can fail, but if you feel like this is the person that you would want to spend the rest of your life with, then it’s important that you work hard in making it work.
There are many different reasons why some relationships fail but the one that tends to be more common is the lack of communication and lack of interest. Many people get into relationships for all the wrong reasons. If you are in a relationship with someone because of his/her body type, shape, color, features what happens when the physical things fade away? If you are with someone make sure you really know why. Try not to make it a physical thing. I am not saying to be with just anyone but have solid reasons as to why this is the one for you. Lack of communication, a great percentage of the time is the basis for most relationships that fail. How do I communicate you may ask? Well I have to tell you it’s not the easiest task. Men and women have different meanings of what communication is. To a guy communicating can be done in a few words whereas a woman definitely needs a lot more time to express herself, so in order to make the relationship work, you might have to guys give up some Monday night football and opt for spending time with your girl.
What do girls look for in a guy truly depends on each girl. Taste is something that truly cannot be explained; it varies from person to person and can change without one even realizing it. Most girls tend to look at an array of things when on the quest of finding the right one for them.8 Some girls are attracted to guys solely based on their looks. They need to find a guy that’s attractive and what we call eye candy. He has to have a certain height, dress a certain way, and have that body to go along with it. No bird chests for these types of girls.
Some girls may be attracted to a guy based on his personality. They may love the way he speaks, they may fall for his smile, his approach towards them. They may fall for his charm. Some girls tend to actually look for a guy that possesses a great quality prior to looking at the way he may look. If he is a looker and he has a great personality than that would be considered a plus.
Some girls are looking for the players. Hard to believe, but it is true. Some girls can’t help but be attracted to guys that will end up cheating on them or give them constant grief. Why? Only those types of girls can really explain.
Other girls look for the guy that doesn’t like to say much, not that he has a lack of personality but maybe he’s more shy or reserved. He’s the more laid back type that takes his time to make his move. Some girls believe it or not are attracted to the guys that aren’t constantly trying to, what I like to call, spit game to them.
So basically, like I said early on, what attracts a girl to a guy just really depend on the girl herself. Different girls, different attractions.Too many people have skeletons in their closets that they would rather just keep under wraps, especially when they are in a new relationship where they want to start with a fresh start. A lot of times in a relationship, telling our partner about past relationships or things that have happened in our past can be one of the hardest things to do. But the question is do you even need to tell them about what happened in your past, or should the past remain exactly what it is, the past. Let’s suppose you were the type of girl that had a lot of indiscretions in your past, meaning that you liked to get down and maybe even a little dirty,9 and do you need to tell your partner about what used to be an aspect of your life. How about if you were once a convict, do you need to tell your partner about that? How about how many people you’ve been with or slept with, should your partner know about that? What should you or shouldn’t you tell your partner about your past?
This is a tough one for many, because some people may feel that whatever happened yesterday shouldn’t have any bearing on what happens today. Others feel the complete opposite because it is the things that happened in your past that shapes and molds the person that you are and can even determine what you will do and how you will carry yourself in your present relationship.
So, should you tell your partner about your past? There are certain things that I believe that you should share with your partner and there are other aspects of your life that you don’t necessarily have to share unless of course you care to. For example, details of your past relationship, isn’t necessarily something that needs to be shared, unless of course the both you decide that you want to, but believe me this is opening up a can of worms if you do. Something that you can share though is what you think caused your past relationships to fail. I feel that being honest about something like this can allow you to create a solid foundation for your new relationship. Another thing that you would want to share is if you were once a convict. I think your partner would definitely want to know this and what exactly caused you to go to prison. This would definitely be something you would want to tell them. If you were once married is another thing that you should tell your partner even if it occurred in your past. There are so many other things that we can mention that should or shouldn’t be discussed but in reality it depends on the type of relationship you want to create. If you want to have a healthy and happy relationship, then it’s best that you’re open and honest about the things that will affect or have a bearing on making your relationship a success. It isn’t necessary to bring up the things that won’t affect your relationship one way or another, but you have to decide for yourself really what those things are and what they aren’t
10So I hear this lot, were not in a serious relationship, were just getting to know each other. Fair enough, but does this mean that you should be getting to know a lot of different people while in this stage in the game. Meaning if you’re dating someone, and have yet declared yourself to be “exclusive” then should you be able to date others, maybe to see who it is you like best and then go from there. Well in a situation like this I think it really depends on you and the person you’re dating. Now, I don’t know how comfortable it would be asking the other person if they have a problem with you dating other people until you know that their serious about a relationship but some people actually do talk about it. Others don’t feel like they have any explanations to give and do it anyhow, while a few just decide that if they’re going to date this person than the least they can do is give this person their undivided attention. Me personally, I fall in the last category. I would like to give just one person my attention until I can decide for me whether I would like for it to be something more or nothing at all. But then again this is just me. Some people feel that if they are on a search to find the one then its best if they not waste any time and date, date, date and date some more until they can make that decision. In a situation like that I would definitely be cautious and find out how the other person that you may want to get serious be feels about it because you may potentially lose out on what may have been your soul mate.
Guys and gals have different reasons as to why they flirt, or do they?
Why do women flirt?
Well, I think from a guy’s point of view and you women can disagree that women flirt because one, they are in need of attention. I think that just want to believe that they can still capture a man’s attention, so they do this by doing what they may consider harmless 11 flirting. They may also flirt because they just think the guy is handsome or cute and worth their time. Ask any lady she’ll tell you that there is no harm in having a little fun flirting with a guy. Yet when the tables are turned and the roles are reversed women tend to have a bit of a problem seeing their men flirt. Now that we’ve established some reasons as to why women flirt, let’s take a look at the guys.
Why do men flirt?Well some men flirt just to see if they got it”Game” that is. It’s just a way for them to solidify what it is they already believe. Sometimes men even flirt just to get a girl to feel good about herself, even if he isn’t interested in her. Men flirt many times just to make women feel good and lift up her self esteem. And sometimes, to be honest men flirt because they are looking to take it that step further especially if they see that they do have a chance, meaning if the girl is giving the time of day.
What exactly would you constitute as cheating? We have had two segments on should we stay with someone that has cheated on us and we all have different opinions on what we will or should do in such situation. What should be considered as cheating on our significant other? I think it’s time that we make that distinction. Would you consider dancing at a party with someone else the way you would be dancing with you partner cheating? Is looking at someone of the opposite sex when your partner is not around cheating? Or is it even ok to look at someone else? My take on this is that I find nothing wrong with looking as long as it doesn’t go beyond just a look. If all sorts of ideas going through your mind about what you can, or would or should do to someone like that then I think that can be considered cheating. Is talking to someone else other than your other half for countless hours cheating? I think we all will have our ideas of what cheating is and for12 most as long as the significant other don’t sleep with someone else or even perhaps kiss with someone then it’s not cheating. Oh wait, how about if your significant other decides to go out with their “friend” something you would perhaps consider a date, would you consider that cheating?
In every relationship, from the very beginning these are things all couples should talk about, both you and your partner establish the things in which you are comfortable and uncomfortable with.
There’s a saying that says girls and guys are like matches and gasoline, meaning when they get together things are bound to happen. Can a guy and a girl just be friends and have no other feelings surface from this friendship? Like the saying says, it’s very difficult for a guy and girl to be close friends and at some point not develop feelings that surpass friendship for each other. Some things in life are bound to happen. Sometimes when two people spend so much time together and they start getting to know each other, they begin viewing the person in a different kind of light. They start noticing and thinking about certain things that they’ve never thought about of before.
A perfect example, when a girl is in a relationship and she has a guy friend that she confides in or considers to be a best friend, she will likely be telling her guy friend about all the things that are happening in her relationship, what her boyfriend is doing right or wrong, etc. This friend is going to be the one that provides her with comfort when she’s going through difficult times with her man. This friend will know all of her soft spots, all of weaknesses, and obviously more than her boyfriend probably knows, so technically her friend is more in tune with her than her actual man is. By the way, the same is true for a guy that has a girl as a good friend or best friend that he tells everything to.
A man thinks that he can be friends with a girl and not have this friendship go any further, but let me the one to say, at some given point in time, either something can happen or he 13 has thought about something happening. Feelings are sometimes things that we can’t help feel or control. They come upon you at any given moment in time. You may not at first think anything of it, but the way you may feel about a person in your friendship may not be the way the person feels about you. In your mind, you may honestly believe that your just friends, but that doesn’t mean the other person feels the same way.
But wait, does this mean that girls and guys in relationships shouldn’t be hanging out or talking to anyone outside of their partner? No, that would be insane, but it’s important to limit the kinds of conversations that you’re having, you shouldn’t be sharing with anyone what’s happening in your relationship, or you shouldn’t be comparing your girl or guy to anyone. If at any point your friend starts to change tongue on the way they feel about you then it’s important that you snip the talking time. Don’t be oblivious to what’s going on, if you want to keep your relationship and your friendships, it’s important to open your eyes to what’s happening around you. Make sure that no one has any ulterior motives and that the friendship is true and genuine.
Men find women to be complicated creatures and they find it even harder to understand exactly what women want. Well, men the fact of the matter is, women are complicated and for the most part they have too many things that they want, which makes it impossible for them to just really talk about or focus on one. Women are multifaceted creatures, they tend to see details rather than big pictures, they appreciate the smallest gestures, and they are passionate when it comes to the way they show their love. Women are complicated only because they are constantly growing and changing in the way they look at life. A woman’s life is almost never the same, meaning that it takes another shape or form every single day. Women love to look at life through various lenses in order to find the one that suits them best. Men aren’t considered complicated because they tend to look at the bigger picture and not care for the details. They follow the same rituals and routines throughout their daily lives and would rather not deal with change. Most men for the most part can only do one 14 thing at a time, whereas women can multitask. Their minds are constantly going and sometimes they do get a bit carried away, which makes them come across as if their insane, but they aren’t, men just can’t really keep up. If a woman finds something that works for them, then they stick to it. Most women look for a change because it brings that excitement into their life that they long for. They long to be happy and are in constant search of this happiness. Woman nag, love, cry, create drama, love some more, all for the sake of finding happiness, and all they need is for men to understand them!
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