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Copyright 2003 by Dennis A. Curyer M.A

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7 Ways to Live Life to the MAX

CONTENTS

ABOUT AUTHOR............................................................................................................. 7

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS.................................................................................................. 9

PREFACE.................................................................................................................... 10

1. MAXERS KNOW THE BIG PICTURE WHILE NOT IGNORING THE SMALL ONE .... 11

Live to Fulfill the Measure of Your Creation ...................................................................... 11

An American Psychologist................................................................................................... 12

Hierarchy of Needs .............................................................................................................. 12

Characteristics of Self-Actualizing People .......................................................................... 13

Competition in Life.............................................................................................................. 15

Nature and Environment ...................................................................................................... 16

The Eagle School ................................................................................................................. 16

We Are All One ................................................................................................................... 17

The Grand Design ................................................................................................................ 18

The Fifth Child..................................................................................................................... 19

To Reason is Divine............................................................................................................. 20

The Mysteries of Life........................................................................................................... 21

Know Thyself....................................................................................................................... 22

Knowing Our Progenitors .................................................................................................... 23

His First Parents ................................................................................................................... 24

The Treasure House ............................................................................................................. 25

Another Window to Your World ......................................................................................... 27

Spiritual Genetics................................................................................................................. 28

Crossing Over ...................................................................................................................... 29

Small Things Do Count........................................................................................................ 30

It Was Only a Shoebox ........................................................................................................ 31

The Keys .............................................................................................................................. 32

There is a Process................................................................................................................. 33

When the Student is Ready the Teacher Arrives ................................................................. 34

Our Great Teachers .............................................................................................................. 34

The Refiners’ Fire ................................................................................................................ 36

What Was Happening to You in 1992? ............................................................................... 36

Gillian Barre Syndrome ....................................................................................................... 37

The Stolen Car ..................................................................................................................... 37

The Recession We Had to Have .......................................................................................... 38

Could Things Get Any Worse?............................................................................................ 38

Fire Is The Test Of Gold ...................................................................................................... 39

Adversity Overcomes Procrastination ................................................................................. 40

Freedom To Choose ............................................................................................................. 41

Why Decision-Making Is Difficult ...................................................................................... 42

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Operation Thunderbolt......................................................................................................... 43

Time-out or Burnout ............................................................................................................ 44

An Ancient Practice for a Modern Society .......................................................................... 46

The Sabbatical...................................................................................................................... 47

Why Not Design Your Own Sabbatical? ............................................................................. 48

Retaining the Newness......................................................................................................... 50

Chapter Summary ................................................................................................................ 52

2. MAXERS LIVE IN THE REAL WORLD ..................................................................... 54

The Seduction of Life .......................................................................................................... 54

The Grass on the Other Side ................................................................................................ 55

Money the Great Seducer..................................................................................................... 56

Stuffed and Animated .......................................................................................................... 57

The Magical Tent ................................................................................................................. 57

That Car................................................................................................................................ 58

The Other Woman................................................................................................................ 59

We Knew We Would Not Get It.......................................................................................... 60

The Hitchhiker ..................................................................................................................... 61

A Beautiful Mind ................................................................................................................. 62

The Other Voices ................................................................................................................. 63

The Ultimate Power ............................................................................................................. 65

The Temple of Sais .............................................................................................................. 65

A Defining Moment ............................................................................................................. 66

Do Not Procrastinate Life .................................................................................................... 67

The Cycle of Life ................................................................................................................. 68

King Solomon ...................................................................................................................... 68

The Seasons of Our Life ...................................................................................................... 69

The Only Season is Now...................................................................................................... 70

Every Day is a Great Day .................................................................................................... 72

The Scapegoats .................................................................................................................... 73

The Buck Stops Here ........................................................................................................... 74

The Halcyon Days of the Eighties ....................................................................................... 75

The Crows and Canaries ...................................................................................................... 76

The Excuse Peddlers ............................................................................................................ 77

Chapter Summary ................................................................................................................ 86

3. MAXERS LIVE BY A CODE OF ETHICS..................................................................... 88

The Eternal Fitness of Things .............................................................................................. 88

The Sinking Village of Yarraville........................................................................................ 88

What Will You Become? ..................................................................................................... 89

Why Live by a Code?........................................................................................................... 90

Codes That Others Have Lived By ...................................................................................... 90

Florence Nightingale............................................................................................................ 92

Desiderata............................................................................................................................. 92

What Are You Prepared to Die For?.................................................................................... 93

The Fall of Massada............................................................................................................. 94

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Walls and Fences ................................................................................................................. 95

The Freedom Fence.............................................................................................................. 96

The Wall Builders ................................................................................................................ 97

The Freemasons ................................................................................................................. 100

Rotarians ............................................................................................................................ 102

Write Your Own Mission Statement.................................................................................. 103

The Secret of Attracting Happiness ................................................................................... 103

The Result of Ethical Living.............................................................................................. 105

Honesty is Still the Best Policy.......................................................................................... 106

Trust, The Twin Brother of Honesty.................................................................................. 109

The Wooden Bowl ............................................................................................................. 109

Ulterior Motives................................................................................................................. 110

Chapter Summary .............................................................................................................. 111

4. MAXERS LIVE THEIR DREAMS BY CONQUERING THEIR FEARS .......................... 112

Actions are Born of Dreams............................................................................................... 112

The Language Waiting to be Learned................................................................................ 113

The Road Waiting to be Travelled..................................................................................... 115

The Vicarious Experience.................................................................................................. 117

The Book Waiting to be Written........................................................................................ 118

Humanitarian Dream.......................................................................................................... 119

The Risk Takers ................................................................................................................. 120

Your Angle of View........................................................................................................... 121

The School Bully ............................................................................................................... 123

Preparation Eliminates Fear ............................................................................................... 124

Sir Gawain and the Green Knight ...................................................................................... 125

The Final Enemy ................................................................................................................ 128

To Live Your Dreams You Must Cross the Rubicon......................................................... 128

The Perseverance Factor .................................................................................................... 130

Rabbi Akiva ....................................................................................................................... 130

What is This? ..................................................................................................................... 131

Focus .................................................................................................................................. 134

Landing Without Focus...................................................................................................... 135

A Disciplined Mind............................................................................................................ 136

You Were Created to Win.................................................................................................. 137

Chapter Summary .............................................................................................................. 138

5. MAXERS ARE LOVERS............................................................................................ 139

Love is a Spiritual Fire....................................................................................................... 139

In Jail.................................................................................................................................. 140

Standing for the Teacher .................................................................................................... 141

The Russian Immigrant...................................................................................................... 142

The Hajj.............................................................................................................................. 144

The Pilgrims....................................................................................................................... 144

Showing Appreciation ....................................................................................................... 145

Avoid Criticism Like the Plague........................................................................................ 147

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If You Have to Criticize..................................................................................................... 147

Accepting Criticism ........................................................................................................... 148

Become an Encourager ...................................................................................................... 150

Chapter Summary .............................................................................................................. 151

6. MAXERS LET GO TO HANG ON ............................................................................ 153

Closure, The Elixir of Life................................................................................................. 153

The Monks and the Maiden ............................................................................................... 153

Steps to Closure ................................................................................................................. 155

Turning Back We Go Forward........................................................................................... 156

You Are Right Too ............................................................................................................ 157

Prevention is Better than Cure ........................................................................................... 157

The Ambulance in the Valley ............................................................................................ 158

Your Anger and the Sun..................................................................................................... 159

The Anger Test................................................................................................................... 160

Tips to Reduce Anger ........................................................................................................ 161

Flight .................................................................................................................................. 163

Accommodation ................................................................................................................. 163

Force................................................................................................................................... 164

The Treaty of Versailles..................................................................................................... 164

Compromise - Let Us Meet In The Middle........................................................................ 165

Collaboration - Doing it Together...................................................................................... 165

Civil War Surrender ........................................................................................................... 166

Chapter Summary .............................................................................................................. 167

7. MAXERS GIVE AND KNOW THAT GIVING IS THE MEASURE OF GREATNESS .... 169

To Get by Giving and to Lose by Keeping ........................................................................ 169

Our Greatest Gifts .............................................................................................................. 170

Chief Seattle....................................................................................................................... 170

Time to Give ...................................................................................................................... 172

What Should We Give?...................................................................................................... 173

A Gift of Value .................................................................................................................. 175

We Are All Colonisers and Pioneers ................................................................................. 176

An Ordinary Life................................................................................................................ 177

Teaching People How to Fish ............................................................................................ 178

The Difficulty of Giving .................................................................................................... 179

Giving of Yourself ............................................................................................................. 181

The Hands of Albert Dürer ................................................................................................ 182

You Receive by Giving as Long as You Do Not Give to Receive .................................... 183

I Cannot Give What I Do Not Have................................................................................... 184

Levels of Giving ................................................................................................................ 185

Giving Is Not Always Convenient ..................................................................................... 185

We Are All Beggars........................................................................................................... 189

Attracting Happiness.......................................................................................................... 190

Happiness and Joy.............................................................................................................. 191

Another Model ................................................................................................................... 192

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Mother Theresa .................................................................................................................. 193

The Comfort Zone.............................................................................................................. 195

Change - The Only Constant.............................................................................................. 196

Knowledge and Information .............................................................................................. 196

Knowledge and Faith ......................................................................................................... 197

Faith, the Servant of Knowledge........................................................................................ 198

Knowledge is Power .......................................................................................................... 199

The Ultimate in Knowledge - Inspiration .......................................................................... 199

The School Door is Always Open...................................................................................... 201

Chapter Summary .............................................................................................................. 202

INDEX........................................................................................................................ 205

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About The Author

The author, Dennis R. Curyer, is a professional speaker and is available for speaking engagements and consultations. He speaks on winning in business and personal development.

If you have found any ideas or suggestions in this book or elsewhere that have helped you to live life to the max, Dennis would be delighted to hear from you.

For further information:

Contact: Dennis R Curyer

International Telephone: 61 3 9735 4447

International Facsimile: 61 3 9735 4039

Email: dennis@theoraclespeaker.com

Web Site: www.theoraclespeaker.com

PO Box 639

Lilydale

Victoria 3140

Australia

First published in Australia in 2003

Second printing July 2003

Copyright © Dennis R Curyer, 2003

Copyright © Dennis R Curyer, 2003

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All rights reserved. The copyright of this publication is fully protected under Australian copyright law. Please respect it.

The author offers general information to help you in your quest to live a meaningful and successful life. This general information is not intended to replace professional or legal advice.

The author has personally used the techniques included in this book however, neither he, nor the publisher can accept any responsibility for events that may arise from your use of any information in this book.

National Library of Australia Cataloguing-in-Publication data Dennis R. Curyer

7 Ways to Live Life to the Max.

ISBN 0 9577740-1-X

Published by: Spare Hour Books

Postal Address: PO Box 639 Lilydale Victoria 3140 Australia

Copyright © Dennis R Curyer, 2003

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Acknowledgements

Acknowledgements and thanks are due to a number of people who have helped with the production of this book.

Sarah Curyer and Dale Clark for their initial proofreading and helpful suggestions.

Mandy Farr who has always been enthusiastic in her help with word processing and formatting.

Alice Watson who has always been there from the days of my Master’s thesis.

Susan Durrant who was very helpful and easy to work with in designing the front and back covers.

Bob Rich for his precise methods in editing and his excellent ideas.

Raine Biancalt, like a well experienced Archer, has hit the mark with her skills that have created the true beginning of the end of this book.

Dedicated to Yvonne, the wife of my youth “for her price is far above rubies”

who shares my vision and supports me in all of my dreams and endeavours. I love her not only for what she is, but also for what I am, when I am with her.

Also to the great teachers in my life: my daughters, Nicola Anne, Becki Lee and Bonnie Jo, and to my sons, Sterling James and Haydn Luke, who have provided me with some of the great experiences of my life, lessons that I could not have learned in any other way from any other people.

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PREFACE

This book has been written to empower people to live with excitement and energy.

Its principles are based on ancient and modern wisdom from a variety of sources.

The author has had a difficult, but interesting and exciting life. He shares his personal experiences with his readers in the hope that whatever years they have left, it will be the best years of their life. It is about living to the fullest, not just watching life go by as a spectator or living through the experience of someone else. It was Helen Keller who said, “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.”

Life is a banquet table. Upon it we find every delicacy imaginable. The lamb, beef, venison, duck, chicken, turkey and pheasant have been cooked to perfection in sauces that tempt the taste buds (unless you are a vegetarian). A cornucopia of vegetables, pumpkin, potatoes, carrots, cauliflower, and broccoli are to be found in a state of perfection. Exotic seasonings, poppy, wild marjoram, thyme, capers, and ginger enhance the flavor of the dishes. Fruits of every kind, the common and the uncommon, even the exotic quince, currant, mango, durian and pomegranate grace the table for taste and decoration. For the wine drinkers, there are reds and whites of every kind and vintage that would make Bacchus jealous.

We have all been summoned to attend the banquet of life. As special guests we arrive in anticipation and yet, instead of sitting on the gold embossed chairs provided for our comfort, we elect to sit on the floor and eat the crumbs that fall from the banquet table. Too many of us, for far too long, have sat on the floor eating the crumbs that fall. This book is about getting up off the floor and feasting at the banquet table before it is too late. To waste a day would be to waste our inheritance.

The final words of this introduction are left to Henry David Thoreau, who said,

“Oh God! To reach the point of death only to realize you have never lived.”

Copyright © Dennis R Curyer, 2003

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1. Maxers Know the Big Picture While

Not Ignoring The Small One

Live to Fulfill the Measure of Your Creation

bservation tells us that we live in a well-ordered universe. Each day the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. Its rays give light and warmth to O all the creatures of this earth. At the end of the day, night arrives. This twenty-four hour cycle never ceases. One season follows another. Spring is always followed by summer; summer is always followed by autumn, etc. This course is unchangeable.

All vegetation and animal life fulfill the measure of their creation. When I stand in my vegetable garden I know I will not find cabbages hanging from the tomato plants, only tomatoes. The tomato bush must fulfill the measure of its creation in producing an abundance of beautiful red tomatoes. It is doing what all tomato bushes do. It is doing what its ancestors have done for generations.

Have you noticed when sunrise and sunset approaches, there is a chorus of birds that chirp and sing? They cannot avoid this. Nature, if you like, has programmed this into them and they must fulfill the measure of their creation. If we can observe order and beauty in the creation of nature, then should we not consider the order and beauty of our creation, the greatest of all the species?

We, like nature, also have to fulfill the measure of our creation. In doing this we experience true happiness because we are living at the most ethical and productive level. For each of us the measure will be different according to the role we have to play.

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An American Psychologist

The American psychologist Abraham Maslow called this concept ‘self-actualization.’ Some schools of philosophy use the term ‘self-realization.’

Maslow loosely describes self-actualization as “the full use and exploitation of talents, capacities and potentialities”. Self-actualized people are those who have developed or who are developing to reach their full stature.

Whatever it is called does not really matter. What does matter is that we understand that our purpose in life is to rise to our highest level of development.

Maslow was interested in what motivated successful people. He undertook a study of people living exceptionally effective lives. His study included Albert Einstein, William James, Eleanor Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln, John Muir, Walt Whitman, and other creative people, artists, writers, and poets. He wanted to know what made them different from what we might call the ‘average person’.

Hierarchy of Needs

In Maslow’s research he discovered what he called ‘the hierarchy of needs’. He said that our needs have to be satisfied at a lower level before we can move to a higher level. The pinnacle of the hierarchy is self-actualization. Maslow believed that self-actualization is an innate drive, i.e. something we were born with.

At the base of the triangle are our basic needs - oxygen, food, and water. We will take whatever steps are necessary to secure these requirements just to survive. In our Western society most of these needs are fulfilled with little effort. Few of us would have experienced real hunger and thirst. In third world or less affluent countries people struggle daily to meet these basic needs.