3:53 A.M. HTML version

this day. With a sense of fury he quickly pulled the Tommy Lee Jones action
figure out of his ass, leaned forward, and turned up the volume on his
television set. The commercial discussed how some obese nerd, similar to
himself in many ways, lost a bunch of weight by eating Subway sandwiches
three goddamn times a day. He decided right then and there that he was
tired of masturbating. He made an oath to himself, and Subway, and his
shit-stained Tommy Lee Jones action figurine that he would consume their
product no less than three times a day.
The helpless man is a follower, always has been as long as he can
remember. But he is no longer a fat-ass. The Subway diet worked. Big
arms, pecs, lats, traps, small legs though. Forever small legs. Muscles are
his armor. A façade that the scared little fat boy hides behind. “Fat Boy, Fat
Boy”, they used to call him. They called him that so often he started to
believe that was his name. “I AM Fat Boy. Fuck them. Kill ‘em all.”
Fat Boy never manifested his rage toward the antagonizers, but he
didn’t bottle it up either. He paid it forward, humiliating those whom he saw
as weak. His harassers were not weak. They were strong, handsome,
popular, everything he wished he could be. He finally became somewhat
popular his senior year of high-school when he did that thing, that nasty,
nasty, thing. They still called him Fat Boy, but they let him in the circle.
Not the inner-inner circle, but they let him hang around. It felt good.
“It was worth it,” he periodically reminded himself. The nightmares
even stopped after a while, and eventually he got to the point where he
could live with what he had done.
Fat Boy’s shredded abs are his most prized possession. He likes to go
to clubs and pull his shirt up to impress girls. He calls himself ‘The
Circumstance’, like his favorite celebrity on MTV. He would love nothing
more than to go to New Jersey and meet said celebrity, maybe hang out at
some bitchin club. Fat Boy likes to make it clear he isn’t a gay, and believes
that gay people should all be sent to the island of Madagascar or better yet,
executed. He loves banging hot chicks.