Wilbur by Edward Drobinski - HTML preview
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2018 150,000 145,000 147,500 150,000
Not too shabby for a cheeseball trophy, authentic or forged. And here in his “dingy” little room little Wilbur unknowingly sat with 58 of them; also unaware of their total market value of $8,700,000. It was arguably better for all involved that way. The uninvolved are invited to comfortably stay that way.
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#8- Wilbur Tries Some Pointless Silliness Seeking to get his muted trophy friends again talking and laughing, Wilbur managed to do the exact opposite. He said; “In order to hear a bird it is necessary to become a part of the silence.” He immediately realized that what he had said had accidentally made a sense he was aiming to curtail, and the taciturn hush was only interrupted by a few teeny grimaces, like the ones evinced by polite trophies when someone passes gas.
Attaining a more optimistic mood, he thought; “At least some of them still hear me.”
“Whoops, let me try that again. A goose flies by a map only Google would attempt to improve.”
“.......... “
“Truth is stranger than impeding interdiction.”
“ ......... “
“A wet balsa wood toucan never flies at night.”
“ ......... “
“I’ll just keep going here until indecently interrupted.”
“ ......... “
“The search for a toucan begins and ends with his beaker.”
“ ......... “
“A genuine trophy is always someone’s wife or bimbo.”
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Germaine said; “Whoa, whoa, whoa there, Tom appropriating the crying of Lot without footnote. You have borderline managed to invite the annoying scrutiny of the Politically Precise Police (PPP) - Trophy Division.” She snickered, but in a manner which could have been dismissed as a tiny swipe at a non-existent nose itch.
Wilbur said; “Glad to see that you’re awake. It’s hard to tell unless you make some noise.”
Germaine said; “Yeah, but the PPP needs to chill. ..... Ah, hormones, I guess. They’re always just so .... vigilant. Yes, that’s a good word. It’s like they have a legitimate place, but not so much.“
Wilbur said; “I think that it’s an understandable function of net speed. As a metaphor on a physical level just recall exhausted Paul Bunyan and his quest to outdo the tireless machine. In the specificity of the 2018 case, the burden to disregard is in effect passed from the arguably ‘chosen’
blocking potential previously de facto associated solely with the writer to the finally allowed and ‘chosen’ and totally appropriate option to the discard of the otherwise generous and altruistic reader, and the current reader is generally not yet comfortable in that role, resulting in a reticence to appear to reject any absurdity, perversion, or abject retardation. Maybe when the readers become proficient in differentiating
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indifference to the impersonal stimulus from a more personal stimulus guided by a desire to be kind and/or surreptitiously contentious, things will return to a near reasonable balance.
....... It did exist in that one brief shining moment, and undeniably that moment can become an eternity.”
Germaine deadpanned; “You spend much time on Zeitgeist.com?”
Wilbur ignored the question and in a debatable diversion said; “This is a right fine trophy. I think I’ll keep it to display when I get old.”
Germaine responded with; “You are pushing OUR luck, bird brain.”
Wilbur said; “Extreme times require extreme measures.
......... Well, not that my comment was extreme, but ...... “
Kate interjected; “You must either be totally insensitive to women’s rights, think that we’ve time machine retrogressed to 1956, really are a bird brain, or have the worst sense of humor in the entirety of the inanimate world. That is reminiscent of that sexist commercial in which some guy said of his wife;
‘She’s a good girl. I think I’ll keep her.’ You’re the one who needs to wake up.”
“Which way is Retrogressive Street. A vandal must have torn down the sign. Humph. Better I say that she’s a bad girl, and I think I’ll get rid of her?”
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Kate said; “Your double negative is indicative of an indirect route to agreement with me. Nuff said.”
Wilbur said; “Your assumptions regarding the duplicitous meaning of ‘bad’ is now obvious, and I consider your bared mental conviction to be abysmally limited. Let me point out that you don’t make the rules, little lady.”
Kate said; “No sense of humor, Willy boy?”
Norman became irrationally incensed, saying; “I just hate that. It’s just so convenient not to mention a ‘foolproof’
attempt to be ‘right,’ regardless of where the truth, if any, is momentarily determined to lie. I am so envious; I can’t help but be openly complimentary of your insight, Kate. You absolutely overwhelm in your brevity.”
Wilbur said; “I think that I may have detected the door being opened to a thread consistent with the concept of an unproductive exclusion, as opposed to the productive exclusion married to the willing concept of free choice. ...... I might be wrong. Chances are that I am. But, I was compelled to say this because ........... I don’t know“
“ ......... “
“ ......... “
“ ......... “
Wilbur said; “Lost track of whose turn it is. Okay. Time flies like an arrow. But then fruit flies like bananas."
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“ ......... “
“Nothing, huh? You might have at least evoked sympathy, as this was my best one.“ Lung emptying sigh.
“ ......... “
“The signified can no longer hear the signifier.”
“ ......... “
Wilbur said; “The blank dots have become the default response to or initiation of ..... whatever. It is I who have willed myself to sleep this time; perhaps too soon, though after the majority of you. Please send all intended communications to the B.F. Skinner predicted social media site of your erroneous choice, in the sense of its being viewed as your personally chosen, preference; while it is actually a randomly dictated preference. ...... B.F. may have been a Communist.”
Kayeesha seemed to be either bewildered or effusively derisive when she deigned to join the conversation in saying;
“Isn’t this like from sixties Crumb Comics? It’s a shame that Angelfood McSpade didn’t accrue the monetary significance of Marvel super-heroes. ....... I guess that ‘reality’ has righteously and rightfully been extremely marginalized to half the page. Ah, it’s finally just so meta.”
Wilbur
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