The Bureau of Dreams to be Continued by Edward Drobinski - HTML preview

The Bureau of Dreams to be Continued

Page 455

impossible to ignore, he saw the scraps of his failed dream. The barren, desolate appearance of the tangibly inescapable, brutal physical environs of his originally desired home below caused him to chastise himself for long ago having taken a series of wrong turns, simultaneously almost forgiving himself when he realized that the arduous excursion was not what he sought. It was merely what seemed to be there; bearing the testimony of all that went before him and all that he had heard about then. For ‘Occam’s Razor’ aficionados, the simplest and easiest criticism was that it was unforgivably common. The Rider was harder on himself. Despite all the good justifications, he couldn’t forgive himself for taking a route which, had he taken the trouble to mindfully scrutinize, was obviously a route to hell. Can a teenager be expected to understand the experienced, unobstructed, regretful viewpoint gained in old age? Perhaps that was so for a few geniuses imprisoned in the company of many timid followers of rules. It seemed a travesty, in any sense of his concept of justice, for his current mindset to be only possible after a youth of regretted, self-indulgence, away from those he loved. There must be another way; a path hidden. ........ He thought that he would not be convicted by a jury of his peers as he had never seen it, and had no practical reason to think that it existed anywhere outside of the pretenses of the holier-than-thou-outdo-doo-dah-daddy positions