The Bureau of Dreams to be Continued by Edward Drobinski - HTML preview

The Bureau of Dreams to be Continued

Page 451

knew that it was just another simple display of humanity’s will to go on; all too often used for short term personal gain. Still in its grips despite accurate recognition of the enemy, he temporarily considered willing himself to death, but could not sustain the pain-ending thought. The illogical, sorrow generating, yet irrepressible hope of a deep-rooted, childish dream would not let him succumb to the comfortable numbness.

He attempted to get out of his head and into what was around him today; in what apparently passes for someone’s version of “reality,” their own. In that process the Rider found it easier and truer to substitute his own. He had come to know that his attitude had much in common with what everyone else dealt with daily; and here he was, reflecting on it like another poor imitation of Narcissus. Yet, if he were to insist on only viewing his own perceptions, it would only solidify his isolation. He took a long drink from his brown, fringed, leather canteen; in that process apprehensively noticing that the only remaining water contained in it rested at the bottom. His eyes went to Spotty. At first she was apprehensively looking at him. She then whinnied; low, sad and shyly; shook her head from side to side, though that movement was no longer personally necessary. She looked the other way; not in any sense of defiance; not in any sense of boredom; not in any sense of disgust; not in any