Sudetenland Tales by Edward Drobinski - HTML preview

Sudetenland Tales

Page 95

programmed to fulfill every owner’s command without any of that pesky ‘human’ stuff about ‘morality.’ No opinions. No boundaries. No ‘I have moral issues and/or allegiance to the constitution, or conscientious anti-violent bullchip’ headaches. Just seamless, silent service. Think of it as Uber guns for patriarchy.

Let’s break it down. First. Design. We’re talking real synthetic skin with adaptive temperature control; warm when you want it, cold when you don’t. Optional package; pre-installed expert marksman grade lenses and a vocabulary limited to ‘I dunno. Dindu nuffin. Din see nuffin. Doan ax me.’ Second. Functionality. These units won’t just simulate obeyance; they’ll optimize it. Real time biometric feedback, adaptive algorithms, and a subscription based ‘Reset’ feature to undo any time induced wear and tear. And for our premium users? A lifetime warranty in case of a chip brain mannequin being injured or taken out by a targeted sap or their flunkies. Patent pending.

But here’s the kicker. Scalability. We flood the market. Undercut the competition. What competition? Useless human ineptitude. Think about it. They’re expensive. They age. They expect things. Model XX? No birthdays. No demands. No risk of them needing food, clothing, or shelter. We price these units at $99.99/month; basic tier, which includes three resets and one ‘No weapon excluded’ firmware update. Within a year, actual