Learning To Walk - A Soldier's Story by Clifford Beck - HTML preview

Chapter 30

The appeals process is both complicated and lengthy. One is only allowed three appeals before a final rendering of their sentence is made. In a capital case, you either win your appeal or die. My mind wandered to a disturbing topic. If I lost all three appeals, would the government allow an alternative to lethal injection? Instead of fading away under the heavy, sudden weight of drugs, I thought it might be an interesting last experience to meet my demise in a somewhat conscious state. In New York State, the condemned conclude their lives in the electric chair. The initial one thousand volts would induce neural shock, a state of painless unconsciousness achieved in mere seconds. At least, that was the idea. The voltage is then turned up until the heart stops. It seems reasonable to think that the abruptness of this method would be humane and while that may be true, there's a reason some states no longer practice it. The fact is that electrocution is ugly. No one knows how much, if any, suffering is actually experienced. But, as I understand it, the body of the condemned often catches fire as the eyes are suddenly pushed out of their sockets. The restrained body shakes violently while blood exits from the eyes and ears. It is considered by some to be inhumane, based solely on the harrowing scene it produces. I guess the idea of an 'eye for an eye' can be pretty comfortable for people until they come face to face with it. The idea of a more gradual process of conscious death also occurred to me. In the past, this was accomplished by use of the gas chamber. The condemned would, again, be strapped into a chair in a more or less, sealed chamber. Toxic pellets would then be dumped into a small container of acid, releasing hydrogen cyanide. The condemned would be conscious throughout much of the process as instructions were given for deep breathing in order to speed the execution and minimize any suffering. A state of panic often ensued, followed by seizures and eventually death. Is it noble to want to die a living death, to meet the reaper on one's feet? I used to think so. I used to think that to stand defiantly as one faced certain death required both courage and character. Now, I think that this willingness to stare down death is likely the result of military indoctrination, the goal of which is to produce walking weapons, willing and able to kill and die on command. We create these soldiers so politicians never have to go to war. Perhaps the world's issues could be more easily resolved if, instead, this were the case.