Learning To Walk - A Soldier's Story by Clifford Beck - HTML preview

Chapter 23

Weeks went by as I waited in my cell. I tried to keep myself distracted by reading. My parents sent me the books I had asked for and while inspecting them, I found Gloria's note still stuck between the pages of the book on Buddhism. For a moment, I wondered what she might think of my actions. Would she understand that I was only trying to do what I thought was right, or would she react with disgust? I didn't know her well enough to assume one of the other but holding the note brought back a flood of memories from the night when our souls mingled beneath waves of passion and sweat. I was trying to put Gloria behind me, but I still wanted the note. Maybe some part of me refused to let go - probably the same part that refused to accept my circumstances as reality. I knew I'd never see her again, but at least one of us would be able to move on. She would, no doubt, establish a career as an attorney, find someone, get married, have a family and as the saying goes, live happily ever after. I honestly hoped that, given enough time, she would forget about me. There was no sense in both of us being miserable, but I kept the note anyway as a trap door of escape, into a life I should have been living. It was the only thing that connected me to my sanity.