Damaged Goods by Diane McNab - HTML preview

Jane was feeling so many emotions. Shock and grief obviously but also anger towards her Mother. She didn't want to feel that way but recognised it for what it was.

Lily took Jane up to her bedroom motioning for her to sit on the window seat next to her.

“Jane my love I can't even begin to imagine how you are feeling at this moment but know one thing your Mother loved you with all her heart.”

“Then why leave me with that ogre of a man downstairs?”

Lily answered as honestly as she could. “Your Father wasn't always the man that he is today. Your Parents were in love and your Mother had found happiness.”

“Not for very long though was it?”

“Sometimes happiness cannot be measured in time, only the quality of the moment counts” replied Lily.

Jane jumped of the seat and screamed “Then why in fucks name didn't they divorce? Hell if the Prince and Princess of Wales are able to go ahead and do that why couldn't my Parents? I know my Father is considered as some sort of royalty in the eyes of his professional colleagues, but he is not fucking royal!”

Lily ignored the expletives and simply said sadly “I don't have the answer to that but I do believe that they had come to some sort of agreement between themselves. Now I am going to get you a cocoa and then you need to get a good nights sleep, or at least try to.”

Two nights later Jane's Father called her in to his study.

“I have decided the best thing to do under the circumstances is to send you back to school.”

Jane thought bitterly “Thanks for giving me to time to grieve.”

“I have a question Father, did Mum leave me a note?”

“No” was his answer.

“Well I have checked her bedroom and I can't find the ring Granny Agnes left her. Did she perhaps leave that for me?”

“That nasty little bauble, it probably burned with her” was her Father's reply.

“Now I understand why Mum did what she did. It just shows how strong she actually was for years before finally giving in to being continually beaten to the ground” Jane shouted.

“Don't you dare talk to me like that, apologise right now” her Father said.

“I won't apologise for something I am not sorry for Father. Unlike my Mother I have a backbone that no-one can break. I will happily go and pack my things and be out of your hair tomorrow morning, good night.”

The next morning Lily held Jane tight as if never wanting to let go of her, which was the truth.

“Jane I am no longer needed here and even if I was I wouldn't stay, so I am leaving.”

“If you leave I will never come back here” replied Jane.

“Yes you will because it is your birth right. You can make all the choices you want when you come of age but up until then bide your time. Make up the most damnable crazy reasons you can't come home for school holidays, break a leg or whatever” said Lily.

Jane smiled at her but had to ask where Lily would go.

“Oh my Sister has a hobby farm on the other side of Stanwell Park with a small vacant plot next to her just begging for a small cottage to be built on it. Always wanted to have chickens and a garden to potter around in. I know that posh school of yours only allows phone calls from families or for emergencies, but I promise to write every week. Now go” said Lily gently pushing Jane in to the car “go and enjoy your life.”

Lily never let Jane down. Like clockwork an envelope with Lily's sprawling hand writing would be in Jane's 'in' box every week.

RETURN TO BRADBURY PARK

On her return to school Ms Lovett ushered Jane in to her room announcing that Jane and Fiona did not need to attend classes that day. Jane expected Fiona to jump up and down with glee but she simply put her arms around Jane giving her the fiercest hug pulling her on to the bed saying that when Jane was ready to talk she was ready to listen.

Jane sat there for a while, feeling the friendship flowing through her, silent for a long time.

She stood up suddenly saying she must unpack.

“What, your Mother has just died and you think everything can be made right by putting everything in its proper place? That's bullshit and you know it, nobody would be surprised if you trashed the place. Talk to me Jane, talk to me now” Fiona pleaded.

Jane started talking, tentatively at first, some words coming out slower than others.

Some time later Fiona leaned over in to her cupboard and pulled out a bottle of scotch pouring two large nips in to glasses. Jane didn't say no and took one glass gratefully.

Darkness took over the room. Jane talking in almost monotone voice. She started at the beginning explaining her birth and the sad house she lived in which was unfortunately her home. Tears rang down Fiona's face listening to her friend speak of her life and did not interrupt once.