Broken by Ronnea Stiles - HTML preview

CHAPTER TWENTY NINE

~Queen~

I walked the dark late night streets leaving from work. I'd saved up enough money to live in a motel for a little while, but today I needed to see my father. I needed to finally let him know that I've forgiven him for everything he's done but also that I'm going to leave for good. I wanted to be like James and get out of St. Louis which is exactly what I needed to do, especially for the sake of my baby that's going to be born soon. I thought about my life as I was walking "I'm not going to live like this for long, everyday God opens a new door for me". I know I need to walk the right path to get to where I want and need to be in life and here is were it starts, going back to where it all started. Back home where clean bed sheets turned into bloody sheets and memories of heartbreak and pain. Where my father rapes me, how he wakes up the next day not remembering anything of what he's done to me, but me I remember it all. Every fight, every struggle to over take him, every second and minute of every time. Looking at the scars that are left on my body remind me everyday of those times and the dreams I have at night turn into nightmares that will forever and always linger in my mind, but my soul, my soul is what's left of me. God has healed it and it no longer needs love from sexual perverts. I took a deep breath then smiled as I had arrived to the house, I could hear classical music playing as I walked up and opened the dingy screen door. I sighed a little before walking in, loud classical music still playing, I heard it coming from the dining room.

"Dad?"

The music still playing as I walked slowly down the hall. I was wondering "Why was this music so loud?" Boxes of stuff where everywhere all around the house, and nothing even seemed to be here anymore. What was going on I thought?

"Dad?!"

I asked again, but still I didn't hear a response or anything, that's when suddenly I heard a loud gun shot making my ears ring. I fell hard to the ground ducking for cover. I covered my ears with my hands as I was ducked down In a position school teachers would make you get in if it were a tornado drill, I didn't hear another shot after the first. That's when I felt this ache, this huge ache in my heart that soon spread and caressed my whole body. I became weak at the thought of what I believed happened and what that shot was from, and used for. I quickly got up trying to block the image of what I already knew was there. I fled down the hall into the dining room to see my fathers body in the floor stale and lifeless he was lying on the ground with the gun right next to him, blood began to ooze and leaked onto the floor like a gallon of spilled milk from his head. I rushed over to him and kneeled down as tears fell from my face. I lifted his head up and placed it on my lap, blood soaking all over my blue jeans. I held unto my father, screaming and crying.

"Whyyyyyyyyyy?!?! Why God why?!?!??"

I pulled him up more bringing him closer to me. Why, why did he do this?! Right when I was going to tell him I forgive him for everything that's happening! He didn't have to do this I could have gotten him help!

I couldn't do anything else but cry and scream more and more seeing my father like this, his eyes were rolled to the back of his head. I stared at him for almost ten minutes screaming wake up, wake up I forgive you, I forgive you !! I stopped screaming and got up still crying, I had to leave, the longer I stayed here the harder it would be for me to leave. I laid my father on the ground and kissed him on the lips and hugged him one last time. I walked down the hall then ran out the back door when I saw police cars and an ambulance approaching my house. I ran fast down the street not looking back as my tears were rolling down my face and my pants still drenched in blood.