Broken by Ronnea Stiles - HTML preview

CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN

~Queen~

I abruptly woke up from my sleep, in a tremendous hurry to get out of bed and raced to the bathroom as vomit was rising from my stomach and filling my mouth, I made it to the toilet at the last second discharging everything from my mouth into it. I heard the door behind me being opened, I hurried wiped my mouth so I could turn around to face the white man named David I had just met a week ago.

"What the hell is this?!"

"Nothing...I.. I'm sorry I'll clean it up".

I got up but as I was about to leave and head out of the door he stepped over and stood in front of me.

"Where do you think your going?"

He started to move closer towards me.

"No..Nowhere".

"Get on your knees!"

He forcibly pushed my head down guiding it to his crotch. I tried to force my way up but he pressed my head down harder. So that's when I grabbed his dick and gripped on it hard. He instantly jumped up in the air and pushed me hard to the ground with enough force to make me slide on the floor. I fell making a loud thud I tried to get up, but he was already standing over me and punched me hard in my face. He then pulled me by my leg and dragged me to the front door kicking me out. I sat there on his porch bleeding, I think it was about midnight or at least close to it. He opened the door throwing my stuff at me.

"Get the fuck outta here you loose ass bitch!"

I picked up my stuff hastily as he closed the door. I ran to the door and banged on it screaming"I have no place to go!"

 He didn't answer at all.

"Fuck!"

I yelled loudly. I cleaned myself up then started to walk the streets once again hoping to find somewhere to stay.

~

I had been walking for about a hour now, the street I was on looked familiar as if I'd walked it before, that's when I came across the church. The outside lights were all off, but I had no one to go to or any other place to go so I walked up the stairs to knock on the door and see if anyone was there no one answered I looked around making sure no one saw me I tried to push the huge church door open to see if the door was unlocked, surprisingly it was. I slowly walked in just in case someone actually was still here, as I walked around I caught sight of the alter, I walked up to it. I stood there for a minute I looked up and saw a huge statue that looked like it was of Jesus standing high next to the huge church walls. I walked over to a pillar and sat my stuff down in it then returning back to the alter. I didn't know what to do so I kneeled down and sat there. I didn't know why but tears immediately began to fall from my eyes.

"God...Jesus...whichever one hears me I really just need you to listen. I'm sorry I'm so so so sorry. I don't understand what I've done wrong to deserve any of the things that have happened in my life but I'm begging you to please forgive me for what ever it may be?! Please just forgive me! Everything I've done up to this point please God please! I beg of you. I don't want this anymore I don't want this lifestyle I want a better one not only for me but for my baby, I want you God I need and want you in me and my babies life! I know I sound like an idiot because I don't know how to pray but God if you can hear me please I am on my knees and I give myself to you."

I stood up to see if anything had happened or changed but out of nowhere something inside of me made me fall back to my knees. Tears came flowing down my face again more and more as I laid on the floor of the church grieving to God for forgiveness.

"God!!... listen please listen! I need you I want you, I want to feel the same happiness you bring to people's lives like James I want to be on a better path. God I'm sorry I won't do this stuff anymore I don't want to get around anymore I really want to live, I want a good life for me and my baby, I want to be there for my baby! So God please send me a sign a message or something so I can know your real and can hear me please!!"

I was starting to feel angry and disappointed nothing happened at all not a single thing no sign had come. I angrily began to beat on the ground as hard as I could hurting myself with every hit to the floor.

"God tell me Please! Please Lord I give myself to you!"

Suddenly I heard a voice tell me to kneel, I thought someone was behind me I turned around to see no one was there but I heard the voice again tell me "Kneel down and close your eyes" so I did, I kneeled down and closed my eyes. After telling me to kneel down the voice told me. "Now pray and ask for forgiveness and for your deepest desire".

"Lord please, please forgive me and all the wrong I have done in my life, please take away all of this horrible pain I've held onto for all of these years from all of these men that have used me, I need you I need you here with me, I need you in my life I'm truly and finally ready for you lord".

Still kneeling down my hair began to fall into my face, the tears coming down my face felt like water falls I screamed as loud as my lungs would allow me but still nothing happened, I started to cry even more, thinking I knew it no one wants me not even God wants me.

"This is my last attempt Lord.... I know I'm not the best of people or children of yours in the world and I haven't walked in your shoes trying to follow your footsteps like everyone else who have you in there life but I want to now and I'm ready, I'm ready to give myself to you, I'm ready to give my everything please God I'm ready to give my all!"

Suddenly I felt as if something had hooked onto me and was tugging hard on my body, all I could do was fall out. I could feel everything from head to toe as my spirit and body began to heal, my legs were no longer tired and I felt strong. I no longer was aching anymore and my heart, my heart no longer had pain or hate in it. That's when I heard the voice return again and it told me to say Jesus has saved me. I did exactly what I was told.

"I am saved".

I knew it had to be God because I felt free, I felt cleansed and I felt reborn or renewed the feeling felt sensational. I'd never felt such warmth before, I stayed in the church the whole night.