Jim Whalen’s eulogy for my father began: “I want to take a moment to thank Larry and the Choir, Jean Radice, and Angus Godwin for providing so much beautiful music today. I am very proud of all of you, and I know Roy would have been too. As so many of you know, Roy appreciated very much the efforts involved in special presentations. Gray Thoron, he would love knowing that you were here to share one of his favorite poems. And, of course, I want to thank Reverend Lewis and Reverend Hill for their special kindness and help.
“And to my vice president, Bonnie Gordon, a very special thanks for your superb efforts during these last few days in bringing it all together. You were special to Roy and I know he appreciates it as well.
“I also want to acknowledge Cornell President Frank Rhodes, and our colleagues from The University of North Carolina and North Carolina State.
“It was very hard to even imagine us all being here today… Roy’s family, his business associates, staff, friends and neighbors, students and faculty from the educational community he served so well—from this whole community that he served so well. But here we are, in part to grieve, in part to remember…and perhaps most of all, to share our stories about Roy and the ways in which he touched our lives so that we could each see a little more of him through each other and take comfort in that sharing.
“I did take comfort, Dottie, in being able to share part of Tuesday with you, as you and the family returned from New York. I must tell you that I watched that plane touch down on the runway with such sadness. I remembered the many times when you and Roy would offer me and Gill a ride, and we would come into that airport together after having had such good times. When the door of the plane opened on Tuesday, I couldn’t help but expect what I had seen so often before…a great tumbleweed of crumpled newspapers from Roy’s daily reading, armfuls of wonderful Christmas treats from Sulka ties and Tiffany scarves to those fantastic singing bears with the red noses, and that visible sense of tired but happy satisfaction from having had a good trip.
“Instead, I saw in all your faces that certain knowledge that somebody was missing. There was a tremendous sense of emptiness around us, and I recalled the words of a good mutual friend who said that no one would know until Roy was gone how much space he occupied in our lives —how large a presence he really was.
“As we sat together afterwards, Dottie, with Adelaide, Roy, Jr., and Tetlow, you said something to me that I will never forget. Amidst your own deeply personal loss, you turned to me and said, ‘Jim, you are part of the family.’ That meant so much to me— more than you will ever know, because ‘family’ means love, and caring, and having someone to share the good times with, and the difficult ones as well. We have had all of that in the eighteen years since you and Roy first welcomed, so warmly, Gillian, Marjorie, and myself to Ithaca, and it has been a truly generous wonderful gift. Your constant friendship and kindness have been a source of strength this week in particular, and I thank you so much.
“I have often described Roy Park as my friend and mentor, and I have always meant it. I learned so much from him—some of which was terrific fun, and some of which was just not easy. I learned for example, how to be wrong and still feel that something good has happened. Roy had a special way of teaching that, but it was hard to be a willing pupil sometimes. And there were lessons about never settling for second best, but always, always striving for perfection. In fact Roy could be absolutely maddening in his insistence on doing things ‘right’—which really meant doing them the way Roy wanted them done. But the fact of the matter is that so very much of the time he was right—and you would learn to see things a little differently.
“You would learn, from watching and participating with Roy, about seeing the bigger picture. Now for most people, that means seeing the forest instead of the trees. Well, that wasn’t enough for Roy. When Roy talked ‘big picture,’ it wasn’t just the forest and the trees, it was a question of who owned the land, and what was on either side of it, and what the plans for it were. Roy’s view wasn’t oriented so much to what would happen next, as much as to what would happen eventually, in the future. And I learned that as far as Roy was concerned, every step was to be taken in consideration not only of today’s gain, but tomorrow’s plan.
“I think about Roy Park and I think about the words we typically use to describe successful business people—hardworking, driven, determined, creative, dynamic—they all applied to Roy, but there was nothing typical about him. He had singular instincts, an uncanny sense of opportunity, and the intelligence and willpower it took to transform his dreams into reality. Roy was a genius. His accomplishments made an indelible mark on his industry and brought him stature, prestige, and tremendous power. But Roy was even more special in another way. Those of us who have known individuals of stature, prestige, and tremendous power so often also find coldness and something not quite complete in them. Roy Park had the warmth and the humor, and in many, many ways, the sensitivity that made his presence whole and even more substantial.
“And one of Roy’s very finest qualities was his humility. He was an important man, but he did not think he was too important. He never forgot his own modest beginning, and he had a special place in his heart for people who worked hard and perhaps had to struggle, but who were determined to improve in life. Roy related to that; he respected those efforts and supported them, with everything from a phone call to help out with a job, or a kind note of encouragement, to something as simple as a smile.
“Roy genuinely and deeply appreciated the kindness and de
votion that were extended to him, whether it was from Matty, or Oscar or Bernie as they shared all those trips in the car, or from Barbara or Maria at the office, or from Emilita or Cipriani at the house, or from the dozens of others in Ithaca or more distant places who discovered that with this particular captain of industry, graciousness extended meant graciousness returned.
“We had fun together, Roy and I. There are hundreds of stories I could share with you, but let me tell just a couple about my friend Roy.
“I mentioned earlier a comment by a friend who said something about Roy being such an enormous presence in our lives.
There was one place in which Roy and I often met where that was amply demonstrated to me over and over again. When I first came to Ithaca in 1975, I had a call during the first week or so of my presidency asking if I would come downtown to a luncheon meeting of the bank board. I asked people in my office what that was about, as I was a little surprised to be invited so early to such an august gathering. They dutifully explained that it was a long-standing tradition for the president of Ithaca College to serve on the bank board and that they were quite sure that I was going to be asked to do so. I was, of course, delighted, and gladly agreed to attend this lunch with Mr. Roy Park and his good friend and colleague, Mr. Lew Durland. We had a wonderful lunch with lots of good discussion, and an opportunity for me to meet other people who were involved in this community. They did ask me to join the bank board, and again, I gladly accepted.
“I returned to my office and happily announced that I had joined the board of the First National Bank of Ithaca and was completely taken aback by the look of surprise on the faces of my staff members. ‘What?’ they said. ‘Wrong bank, wrong bank!!!’ And they proceeded to tell me that I had made a terrible, terrible mistake because in fact, the tradition, long established in Ithaca, New York, was for the Ithaca College president to serve on the Trust Company Board. Now perhaps we won’t visit today what Roy knew about that particular tradition, but it sure was a slick move, and Charlie Treman didn’t talk to me for quite a while.
“I actually came to appreciate so much the many, many opportunities that were borne of that one luncheon. Over the years since, I have participated in many different ways with what became the ‘First National Bank of Ithaca / Security New York State / Norstar / Fleet’ whatever….Along with many other things, it provided me a chance to spend even a little more time with Roy regularly as we would gather in that boardroom downtown. And I even learned something from that.
“When I first arrived, I noticed fairly quickly that there was a definite pattern related to who sat where in that room. Lew Durland, as chairman of the board, would sit at the head of the table, and Roy Park always sat immediately to his left. Not only did Roy sit there when he was there, it seemed clear to all of us that Roy sat there even when he wasn’t there. Nobody used that chair except for Roy Park. All kidding aside, it went on that way for years and years. Even when I became chairman of the board, the only time that seat was occupied was when Roy Park himself was sitting in it. I think it is safe to say that no one else will ever fill that space.
“People often think of Roy in material terms, and that’s a mistake. He certainly appreciated fine things—and collected some of them—but he did not lead the ostentatious life he could have led. He did have some things, some prized possessions that were prized as symbols of deeper, more meaningful parts of his life. One of these was a pen, a beautiful Tiffany pen that he cherished, carrying it in the pocket closest to his heart.
“One day, I was in his office to sign some papers and asked to borrow a pen. He handed me his, and I signed the papers and left a little while later. The next day, Roy called, and as only Roy could, in the most gracious manner, he inquired about the possibility that I might have inadvertently walked off with his prized, beautiful, cherished Tiffany pen. I searched everywhere and could not find it.
“During the next few days, I spent a lot of time talking to St.
Anthony, who my mother had always told me could help find lost things. I begged St. Anthony to find that pen, because I knew it was important to Roy, and consequently, that it was important to me. It wasn’t so much that he could not replace that pen. Lord knows he could have dozens of them if he wanted them. The point was that he loved this one because it was given to him by someone he loved more dearly than anyone, his wife, Dottie. He carried that pen like a talisman, and he could not and would not rest until he found it.
“Well, it took a couple of days, and I am not sure who rescued me, whether it was St. Anthony or the cleaning lady, but Roy found it, and he was very happy. And I was, too.
“Over the years, I have been asked so many times why Roy and I were such good friends, and what it was that made it work so well for us. I don’t really know the answer entirely. I just know that over those years we were both very glad that we were close friends. I suppose I like to think that maybe it had something to do with Roy’s ability to see people as they really are. I like to think that there was something in that poor boy from Dobson, North Carolina, that recognized something in this poor boy from Pottsville, Pennsylvania, and thought, as Roy often said to me, that we made ‘a pretty good team.’ ‘Isn’t that right, Jim,’ he would say. And believe me, I’d say, ‘Yes, Roy, we make a pretty good team.’And we did.
“I owe a great debt of thanks to Roy Park. Apart and aside from his friendship, he gave me the best kind of working partner a president of a college could ever have. With his sound counsel and strong support, with his drive for excellence, and relentless determination to make things better, he enabled us to realize some dreams for Ithaca College that will have a lasting impact not only on this community, but on the lives of generations of students who have had the opportunity to participate here. And when you multiply that by his assistance to Cornell, to The University of North Carolina, and to his beloved alma mater, NC State, it is almost hard to imagine that there is anyone left out there whose life hasn’t been touched in some way by Roy Park.
“One day in the spring of 1988, Roy allowed us to pay tribute to him with an honorary degree at graduation and we tried that day to capture some of the essential Roy Park. I would like to share just one passage from that citation: There is no greater accomplishment than the fulfillment of a dream and none greater to fulfill than the American dream. You, Roy H. Park, have realized that dream and so achieved greatness.
Yours is the greatness of the self-made man who has made of himself more than most men dare attempt. Yours is the greatness of having the insight to recognize opportunity and the skill to seize it. Yours is greatness borne with quiet dignity, rather than public fanfare; the greatness of being considered wise among the knowledgeable, expert among the able, and tireless among the diligent. Yours is the greatness of serving as an example to succeeding generations of men and women who would realize their own dreams—an example that proves that vision, ability, hard work and creativity lead to success. Yours is greatness that speaks eloquently of man’s capacity for achievement and his dedication to progress.
“In closing, let me again say to you, Dottie, that I am honored and deeply touched to be part of your family. And to my friend Roy, I just want to say that I will miss coming home from various journeys—whether it was just for a day or several weeks—and knowing that within moments of my arrival the phone would ring and I would hear your voice say, ‘Welcome home, Jim.’ I’ll just have to take comfort in knowing that earlier this week, the good Lord said to you, ‘Welcome home, Roy, welcome home.’ ”