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Your Attitude - Your Self-Esteem

“It’s all about Self-Improvement”

By Teresa King

Copyright 2003, All rights reserved

Proudly brought to you by

John Reese


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Y o u r A t t i t u d e - Y o u r S e l f - E s t e e m


Introduction .............................................................................. 4

Chapter 1 Attitude and Conditioning..................................... 5

Chapter 2 Self-Esteem goes with a Positive Attitude............ 9

Chapter 3 From Negative to Positive Thinking................... 19

Chapter 4 The Standard of Excellence ................................ 28

Chapter 5 What is Happiness?............................................. 47

Chapter 6 Your Mood and Colors ....................................... 50

Chapter 7 Your Health and Exercise ................................... 52

Chapter 8 Learn how to Give and Receive.......................... 57

Chapter 9 Work Shop .......................................................... 60

Chapter 10 The Stairs to Recovery........................................ 65

Chapter 11 Against the Odds - Harness Those Darn Urges .. 67

Chapter 12 The fun Game to Play ......................................... 72

Chapter 13 Your Attitude - Your Job .................................... 75

Chapter 14 Visualization Meditation..................................... 82

Chapter 15 Inspirational Quotes ............................................ 88

Chapter 16 How to Get What You Want out of Life............. 91

Copyright © 2003 Teresa King

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Wrapping it up ...................................................................... 106

About the Author .................................................................. 109

CREDITS.............................................................................. 110

Copyright © 2003 Teresa King

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Your Attitude is something that is uniquely yours. The dictionary defines mental attitude as:

n 1: a complex mental orientation involving beliefs and feelings and values and dispositions to act in certain ways; "he had the attitude that work was fun."

Your Self-Esteem is something that you have been developing all of your life and it can affect everything you do.

The dictionary defines it as:

n. Pride in oneself; self-respect.

One thing that both attitude and self-esteem have in common is that that they both can be changed. Yes, you can improve your attitude and your self-esteem and that is what this book is going to show you how to do.

Please keep an open mind as you read this book, because before this book can help you, you must focus and apply the tools and ideas that you are about to be given. Many times in your life, you may have heard that “Money is Power.”

It’s true. Money does allow for power. However, real power is knowledge and then applying that very knowledge to improve your quality of life. This quality can go from a relationship with your parents, grandparents, friends, spouse, lover, to the creep that lives next door, even to improving your income.

When your attitude and self-esteem are in a positive frame of mind, you can turn mountains into little bumps. You can make more money, become healthier, have more friends, and even make more time for yourself, and it is all done through knowing and taking simple steps that soon become giant leaps forward.

Copyright © 2003 Teresa King

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Chapter 1 Attitude and Conditioning

I would like to simply clarify what attitude really is:

Attitude is:

What you think

What you do

How you feel

All situations require that you think about what is happening. You have to decide what to do, then work on your emotions on how you feel about what you think and do. That is the simplicity of attitude.

You can be struggling with a problem with your teenager. Your teen’s new friends are not the kind of friends you want him to have. You think the problem is a tough one, you know you have to do something about it. You might want to do whatever your decision is in a positive way. However, your emotions on how you feel may want to dictate to him and yell and scream to get those low life friends away from the house.

Your attitude will be the essence of how you find the solution to the problem.

A negative attitude will be one of, “Why does that kid always upset me, seems a day can’t go by without problems, why did I ever have kids anyway? All I have been doing is trying to do the best I can, feeding, clothing, sheltering and working overtime so he can have his name brand shoes, and now he brings punks home that will influence him and turn him into a druggie and cigarette smoker.”

With a positive attitude, your solution will come with positive emotions.

“I love my teenager and find the challenges of raising one quite stimulating.

Let’s see if I can settle this problem without creating mountains out of molehills.

Copyright © 2003 Teresa King

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I have raised my teen with great values, and I know that he has a strong background of knowing the difference between right and wrong so I will trust him to make his own choices. I will sit down tonight and get his viewpoint on his new friends and go from there.

You can almost picture in the above example, which attitude is going to get the best results and come up with the better solution.

Let’s Start with Conditioning

As a child, you were raised. Whether you had good parents, horrible parents, indifferent parents, or were raised by someone that was not a relative, you survived. You learned how to eat, talk, walk and read, and all the while you were forming perceptions of what the world was all about. In essence you lived in a box. The only way outside of the box was to learn more, see more, and do more.

Each thing you saw, or did, created the “you” that you are now.

If your caregivers:

• were kind, you learned kindness

• gave into your every whim. Then you learned to get your way

• were mean, you learned to be mean, or decided not to be mean

• argued a lot. Your environment was one where arguing was normal.

• were critical, you learned to judge.

If the male figure in your life was dominating and the female caregiver in your life walked on eggshells to not upset the applecart, you learned to be careful and possibly to whisper so as to not make anyone angry.

If you were yelled at as a child, the chances are you use yelling as a tool.

This also can backfire on you. Did you know that if you grew up with lots of yelling, that if you find yourself in an environment where there is no yelling, you may very well do things in your new situation to create yelling and all subconsciously?

Copyright © 2003 Teresa King

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If your dad gave you the silent treatment, the chances are you use that punishment against those you love, or, you totally flip-flopped and did not do what you thought was wrong and made a vow to yourself - you would not be like that when you grew up.

As a child you learned to be scared of authority, or to defy authority. You learned to respect the law, or hate the law, or just abide by the law. You may have learned to put your seatbelt on at an early age, and it may be a habit. Your parents both may have smoked, so smoking is acceptable to you or every time you smell cigarette smoke it brings back bad memories when you were stuck in an environment that you had little control.

Your parents may have been very religious and you learned to be just like them or won’t go into a church, because it was pushed so hard down your throat you can’t even look at what it really is. Your parents may have been atheists and would not let you go to church.

You learned fear of water, or respect of water. If your mother screamed every time she saw a spider, you may have ended up with a fear of small harmless creatures, or by watching her, you may have learned how to act hysterical over small things to get attention.

As we grew up, each of us learned what was “normal.” What was normal to us was what we were subjected to each day. Our perceptions of what life is and how “adults” behave became part of our center core where we could make decisions with the “facts” that we had on hand.

It’s all in perceptions and how you learned through living at home, from your schooling to social events to going to church and television. Children take in the world as a sponge absorbs water - fast. They watch, listen, and try things and then end up doing what they have learned. This is conditioning.

Sometimes, we need to wring out that sponge so we can put fresh water in.

Many parents messed up, after all, they only had skills that they learned as they were growing up. Babies come out naked without any instructions. Some parents managed better than others, and some children never enjoyed decent parenting.

Copyright © 2003 Teresa King

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Many children get lots of spontaneous hugs, and others get parents who hardly ever hug. Some children are not allowed to show anger, or some were raised with the myth: Big Boys Don’t Cry.

I like to liken children to weeds and flowers. A child that is nurtured such as a precious orchid where its environment was carefully cultivated, may die at the first sign of bad weather, while the scrappy weed defies the wind, rain, snow and flourishes.

We are going to cultivate you as an adult, make you strong like that weed, and unscarred like that orchid, because no matter where you were or how you started, that was then; this is now!

Copyright © 2003 Teresa King

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Chapter 2 Self-Esteem goes with a

Positive Attitude

When Eleanor Roosevelt stated, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent," she hit the very essence of self-esteem.

Self-Esteem is your image of yourself.

If you let others put you down, or believe others when they say things about you, then let it manifest into a negative feeling about yourself, you are allowing yourself to be governed by other people and what they believe to be true about you, or that you have allowed yourself to prove that you are what they think.

The power within you is astounding. You just need to tap into changing your attitude when you catch yourself being negative.

You can't control the thoughts that pop into your head, but you sure in the heck can control what you do about those thoughts.

“Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.” Ed Cunningham

What kind of friend are you?

A friend is someone with whom you are comfortable, who you enjoy spending time with and who is loyal to you and whom you can be loyal to.

You trust them with your confidences, you can tell them your deepest darkest secrets and share your dreams and goals. You feel safe that your friend will not judge you.

Copyright © 2003 Teresa King

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When you choose a friend it is like looking into the mirror. Who you hang out with does reflect on who you are.

Choose some qualities that you would like to see in your best friend.






Similar interests


Good Listener






Keeps promises

Remembers your special days

Gives you presents

Compliments you

Tells you the truth when you need to hear it

Accepts you as you are

Does not Judge You


Fun to be with




Sense of Humor


On time

Relaxed about Life

Fighting for a Cause

Quick Temper

Slow Temper


Copyright © 2003 Teresa King

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Not so smart

Easy Going

Same Belief System

Same Work Ethics










Think of your best friend and list some qualities.

Do you forgive your friend for things on the above list even though you don't like that characteristic in your friend? Do you accept your friend the way he/she is or do your keep trying to mold him/her to what you want in a friend?

Now, choose some qualities that you have as a best friend from the list above.

The art of friendship is a simple thing.

“You do unto your friend as you wish them to do unto you.”

It's the Golden Rule. It is taught in all belief systems one way or another, and it is a good rule.

If you don't want to be judged, you don't judge.

If you don't want anger and upset in your life, you don't allow unhealthy ways of showing anger in your environment.

If you want companionship and to do things that you like to do, you want a friend who respects that as well.

Copyright © 2003 Teresa King

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If you break promises to your friend, then your friend won't trust you when you make a promise.

You don't like it when promises are broken to you, do you?

You stay loyal to your friend and best of all you keep that trust and communication open between the two of you.

If your friend is in need of you, your phone lines are open to him/her no matter what time it is. That is what a friend is for. Of course you would expect that your friend would be there for you as well.

If your friend had an annoying habit of a nervous laugh, you would forgive them, wouldn’t you? If he/she smoked and you didn't, you would still be a friend.

If your friend did something that you did not feel is right, you would forgive them, would you not? If you cannot forgive them then there is truly no real friendship.

So, why not forgive yourself for your own screw-ups?

Why is it that most people are harder on themselves than anyone else? If my best friend is thirty pounds overweight, the only thing I think about is her health.

I do not condemn her for eating that extra cookie, or not walking some of that weight off. My friend is my friend and I love my friends as they are.

When you berate yourself and put yourself down, you are setting yourself up for failure.

Yes, make realistic goals to improve what you want to improve, and give yourself pep talks, but for goodness sakes, don’t punish yourself.

Let's think about this next statement:

Before you can be someone else's best friend, you need to make yourself your own best friend.

Copyright © 2003 Teresa King

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Let's talk about you and your attitude toward yourself and the things you can do to become a better friend to yourself.

Why is it that you make promises to “you,” then break them?

I am going to go on a diet.

I am going to start an exercise program

I am going to quit smoking, biting my nails.

I am going to quit saying never, and always, and start being nicer.

I am going to lift weights

I am going to spend more quality time with my family

Then a bit down the road, you have broken all the above promises to yourself.

Would you break a promise to your best friend?

Let's think about that one. If you are your own best friend, do you lie to yourself, do you make false promises, do you do things that you know your friend does not like you to do?

Would you lie to your friend and mislead them?

Of course, you wouldn’t.

Would you accept some of the things about your friend that you don't like?

Of course you would. So, as your own best friend, you can accept things about yourself, too. One thing we all know is that no one is ever perfect. We were not made to be perfect. We make mistakes, and we learn from them.

A long time ago I heard this one:

"The only mistake I ever made was when I thought I made one."

It's obviously a joke, as everyone makes mistakes.

Copyright © 2003 Teresa King

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