LOVE Is Our Medicine. How to Heal with Loving Presence and Hugging Meditations by Nils Klippstein - HTML preview

19. Withdrawal of LOVE

What happens when we regularly experience a high frequency of LOVE with someone – for example, simply by holding hands and feeling a sense of oneness – and then abruptly end this routine because one of us has to or wants to leave?

Losing such a deep connection suddenly can leave us feeling vulnerable and upset. In the worst case, LOVE can turn into anger. We may suddenly see things as the opposite of how we perceived them before. Driven by a strong ego, we may unfairly blame the other or ourselves for minor incidents in an attempt to protect our feelings or cope with the pain of loss.

Such reactions are often a natural part of the grieving process and of processing change. Grief can manifest as a heavy weight on our hearts, leaving us feeling as though we are stuck in quicksand and unable to move forward. We may feel numb and unable to feel anything at all, or we may feel overwhelmed with intense emotions. These waves of grief may come and go repeatedly for a while, even when we think we have already moved on. This is not a sign of failure, but a natural process that allows the heart to adapt to change over time.

The absence of a once-cherished connection can leave a void within us. It can trigger a cascade of withdrawal symptoms that disturbs the balance of our hormones and endorphins. Our bodies may ache from the absence, causing us physical pain. We may lose our appetite and be unable to find joy in nourishing ourselves. Alternatively, we may turn to food for comfort, binge-eating in an attempt to fill the void.

Allowing ourselves to move intuitively, to journal, or to cry in a safe space can support the body as it adjusts to a new reality. But is that enough?

There are at least two possible solutions for turning a loss into something positive. The first is to look deep within ourselves and seek the LOVE that dwells within us. This could involve meditation or spending time in nature to experience its healing power.

The second path involves reaching out to find more loving companions – other souls with whom we can hold hands, practise long hugs, and share a sense of oneness with each other. This may feel very different to the LOVE we have experienced before, as every connection between two souls is unique. However, it can help us maintain a high frequency of compassion, acceptance and connection. The good thing about this is that, despite the pain of loss, we are pushing ourselves to build and strengthen our Network of LOVE with our friends and everyone we meet.

These two paths can nourish each other. The more deeply we connect with our inner LOVE, the more easily we can form close connections with others. Likewise, the more support we receive from others, the easier it becomes to trust the LOVE within us.