Get Your Free Goodie Box here

How to Be Happy: A Complete Guide to Rational Living by Joseph Miller - HTML preview

PLEASE NOTE: This is an HTML preview only and some elements such as links or page numbers may be incorrect.
Download the book in PDF, ePub, Kindle for a complete version.
index-1_1.jpg

Another eBookWholesaler Publication

How to be Happy

A Complete Guide to Rational Living

By Joseph Miller

Copyright 2006 All rights reserved

Proudly brought to you by

John Reese

Email

Recommended Resources

Web Site Hosting Service

Internet Marketing

Affiliate Program

How to be Happy: A Complete Guide to Rational Living

Page 2 of 104

Please Read This FIRST!

Terms of Use

This Electronic book is Copyright © 2006. All rights reserved. No

part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or

transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying,

recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the

copyright holder(s).

You must not distribute any part of this ebook in any way at all.

Only current Members of eBookwholesaler may distribute this book

under the terms at http://www.ebookwholesaler.net/terms.php

Disclaimer

The advice contained here might not be suitable for everyone. The

author provides the information only as a broad overview by a lay

person about the subject based on her personal experience and

information from sources believed reliable, but the author neither

implies nor intends any guarantee of accuracy.

The author, publisher and distributors never give legal, accounting,

medical or any other professional advice. The reader must always

seek those services, when required, from competent professionals

that can review their own particular circumstances.

The author, publisher and distributors disclaim any liability, loss, or risk taken by individuals who act on the information contained

herein. All readers must accept full responsibility for their use

of this material.

Copyright © 2006 Joseph Miller

2.

How to be Happy: A Complete Guide to Rational Living

Page 3 of 104

Contents

Please Read This FIRST! .................................................................... 2

Terms of Use............................................................................................................ 2

Disclaimer ................................................................................................................ 2

1. How to be Happy – An Overview.................................................... 6

2. The ABCs of Happiness.................................................................. 8

3. The Secret of Happiness............................................................... 10

4. Where to Begin Your Quest for Happiness ................................. 11

Possible Locations for Happiness....................................................................... 11

Where to start your Quest .................................................................................... 11

5. Characteristics of a Psychologically Healthy, Happy Person ... 13

Specific and Evident Characteristics of Self-Actualizing People..................... 13

6. Is Happiness a Conscious Ultimate Concern? ........................... 15

Your Goal fixes your happiness level ................................................................. 15

Is it possible to make Happiness your Conscious and Ultimate Concern?.... 15

7. Why is it Wrong to Make Happiness Your Top Goal? ................ 17

8. How to Focus Your Energy and Intelligence to Attain Happiness

............................................................................................................ 19

9. How Satisfaction of Values Determine Our Happiness.............. 21

10. Learn How to Be Happy – Preparing Your Self-Development

Plan..................................................................................................... 23

11. How to Control Your Emotions .................................................. 25

Factors helpful in controlling your Emotions..................................................... 25

12. The External and Internal Routes to Happiness ....................... 27

13. Using Self-Exploration and Problem-Solving Skills to Achieve

Happiness .......................................................................................... 29

14. Six Steps to Find the Underlying, Internal Causes of

Unhappiness...................................................................................... 31

15. How to Make Radical or Lifestyle Changes to Attain Greater

Happiness .......................................................................................... 33

Copyright © 2006 Joseph Miller

3.

How to be Happy: A Complete Guide to Rational Living

Page 4 of 104

16. How to Know What Will Make You Happy ................................. 35

17. How to Resolve Your Conflicts to Bring Happiness................. 37

18. Self-Actualization – Learn to Attain Higher Self Power............ 39

19. How to Imagine and Create an Internal Model of Happiness in

Your Mind........................................................................................... 41

20. Two Worldviews - Negative versus Positive Thinking ............. 43

21. How Can You Be Happy in an Imperfect World? ...................... 45

How to be happy amid such imperfections ........................................................ 45

22. Deficit Motivation vs. Abundance Motivation ........................... 47

23. How to Develop Positive Thinking and Feel Happier in

Everyday Life ..................................................................................... 49

24. Increasing Your Self-Worth to Get Greater Happiness ............ 51

25. How to Develop a Positive Self-Image....................................... 53

26. Learn to Accept Self and Others ................................................ 55

27. How to Be More Self-Confident .................................................. 57

28. Using External vs. Internal Expectations to Evaluate Yourself59

29. Sources of Dependency and External Control ......................... 61

30. Sources of Internal Control ........................................................ 63

31. How to Be Internally Directed and Effective with Others......... 65

32. How to Control Other People ..................................................... 67

33. How to Achieve Peak Functioning of Your Mind and Body..... 69

34. Optimal Learning as the Basis of Happiness............................ 71

35. How Does Harmonious Functioning Affect Happiness............ 73

36. How Does Harmonious Functioning Affect Emotions ............. 75

37. How Mental Control Increases Your Level of Happiness......... 77

38. Learn to Be a Master of Your Emotions .................................... 79

39. Resolve Your Inner Conflicts to Bring Harmony and Happiness

............................................................................................................ 81

40. Looking at a Problem from a Higher Level of Understanding . 83

41. How to Overcome Depression and other Negative Emotions . 85

Copyright © 2006 Joseph Miller

4.

How to be Happy: A Complete Guide to Rational Living

Page 5 of 104

42. How to Overcome Grief, Sadness and Apathy in Your Life..... 87

43. How to Lower Your Anxiety and Stress and Increase

Confidence......................................................................................... 89

44. Learn to Be Happy in All Situations........................................... 91

45. How to Funnel Your Energy to Maximize Happiness ............... 93

46. How to Stay in Control of Your Life and Be Happy .................. 95

47. How to Achieve Your Goals in Life and Be Happy ................... 97

48. How to Manage Your Time and Create Happiness in Your Life

............................................................................................................ 99

49. Your Checklist about How to Be Happy .................................. 101

Copyright © 2006 Joseph Miller

5.

How to be Happy: A Complete Guide to Rational Living

Page 6 of 104

1. How to be Happy – An Overview

Happiness is an emotion and, ideally, an individualistic view. To

you, happiness is something different from what somebody else

feels. It is a particular state of mind. Everybody has different views

on happiness and so, the ways of attaining happiness will differ from

person to person.

Normally, happiness is synonymous with joy, well-being, delight,

love, safety, and health.

The term, “happiness’ traces its origins to the Greek ‘Eudaimonia’,

which means being a good soul. It refers to having virtuous habits

through moral and honorable deeds. However, people define

happiness differently. It is a culmination of achievement of specific

ideals like (not in particular order) health, family, money, physical

appearance, intelligence and humor.

It can be spiritual and refer to attaining certain goals. Every culture has their own idea of what makes them happy. And, every person in

that same culture will find happiness in different levels. To some,

happiness can be praying that there will be supper and supper

appears. Happiness means different things to different people.

You can take for an example, a person with an attractive

appearance with clothes of the latest fashion and that person will

feel happiness. Now, take a lack of either attractiveness or the

latest design clothes and a person can have lower self-esteem,

which could hurt their feeling of happiness.

Copyright © 2006 Joseph Miller

6.

How to be Happy: A Complete Guide to Rational Living

Page 7 of 104

Another group defines happiness as a fulfilling life according to one’s ideals. Normally, you can attain such happiness through dedication,

hard work, and sacrifice.

It is not possible to define happiness in definitive terms, as it is a

subjective feeling. It is an internal experience and characterizing or

labeling it in clear language terms may be a difficult, if not an

impossible, proposition.

Happiness is often associated with feeling content. Satisfaction is

the key to achievement. You find contentment in trusted family,

friends, or community relationships. You have to open your feelings,

talk, and discuss things to experience happiness. Again, happiness

comes by talking about topics of your interest. A music lover may

not find sports interesting and may not find happiness in such

discussions.

Engaging and immersing yourself in what you excel at is a source of

happiness. Such engagement leads to contentment, producing

happiness. Looking forward to something like a vacation brings

happiness. An optimistic focus of life, with the view that the glass is half-full, creates feelings of happiness.

Happiness is the utmost in giving unto others. Happiness is within

you and you can experience it by sharing with others.

Happiness can be momentary, such as setting a goal and reaching

it. The feeling of euphoria that one can get with reaching a goal can

be happiness.

Let’s see what you can do to become a happier person.

Copyright © 2006 Joseph Miller

7.

How to be Happy: A Complete Guide to Rational Living

Page 8 of 104

2. The ABCs of Happiness

Happiness is a subjective feeling. So, you determine happiness by

your preconceived views and opinions of what should happen or not,

by the incidence of an event. You are guided by your thinking,

rather than occurrence of the event.

This is the main determinant of people locating and identifying

happy situations everywhere.

In simple language, you should accept events as they happen

without giving any credence to pros and cons of the event, its

occurrence, implications on future events and so on. Your ideas

about happiness or occurrence of events governing your happiness

levels fall within certain segments. These segments define your

philosophy and beliefs on life.

Such a clear proposition does not engulf you in different negative

emotions like fear, anger, and depression or shame. They,

therefore, do not preclude the presence of your greatest positive

emotion - happiness.

You should proceed by stressing on the ‘It could be better’ factor

rather than ‘It should’ factor. The first proposition highlights your

compromising and rational attitude, while the second tends directly

to anger, a negative feeling pulling you away from happiness.

Feelings of shame can arise if you are unable to perform or reach

accepted achievement levels in society. This could be about

anything like your smartness, reputation, family background, and

similar facts.

Copyright © 2006 Joseph Miller

8.

How to be Happy: A Complete Guide to Rational Living

Page 9 of 104

Shame is self-disapproval or criticism for not being able to attain

accepted norms. Accept such incidents as occurrences in life and

look ahead to overcome obstacles on your way to achieving

happiness.

Dwelling on past mistakes is not the road to happiness. You must

learn to forgive yourself for mistakes and learn from them as a

lesson in life. Punishing yourself over and over for mistakes is

painful and will hinder future attempts at finding happiness.

Depression arises from irrational thinking. It is also a culmination of all negative emotions, leading to lack of self-confidence. The

underlying cure for depression lies within you. You have to love

yourself first to be able to love and receive love from all. This opens doors to your happiness and success.

Fear is worry about your ability. You should be brave enough to

allay your fears and confront them. Do not lie low and accept

everything. Instead, strive to do beyond your expectations. This

focus is more likely to bring you happiness.

Copyright © 2006 Joseph Miller

9.

How to be Happy: A Complete Guide to Rational Living

Page 10 of 104

3. The Secret of Happiness

The secret of happiness lies in your decision to be happy.

Happiness is missing in you if you fill your mind and heart with

weary and dreary thoughts. You disturb your state of mind with

doubts and set preconditions for attaining a level of happiness.

If you are able to meet your conditions, you are happy. If not, you

may be unhappy and depressed. Hence, you decide about

functioning of your brain and set preconditions for your feelings of

joy or happiness. However, the irony is that once you meet the said

conditions, you decide on another set of conditions. This goes on

and so, happiness evades you or, rather, you do not allow

happiness to come near you.

The secret of happiness lies in your continuous decision to remain

happy, whatever be the circumstances. You should enjoy your

journey to reach your set goals.

Some people tend to stress over the activities and behavior of other

people as determinants of their happiness. Your happiness is yours

and you must not blame others for the lack of your happiness. You

control your mind, your thoughts, and hence, you hold the sole

decision toward your own happiness.

Simple solutions to secure happiness are to be optimistic and look

to the present without worrying about the future or the past. Boost

your confidence levels to attain higher self-esteem by being true to

self, and always striving forward.

Copyright © 2006 Joseph Miller

10.

How to be Happy: A Complete Guide to Rational Living

Page 11 of 104

4. Where to Begin Your Quest for Happiness

Happiness does not only mean feeling joy; it can be a feeling of

peace, serenity, and tranquility. Rather, happiness is something,

which pushes away all negative emotions like stress, sadness,

anger, guilt, depression, and apathy. All these stressful emotions

are often the cause of many illnesses like cancer, cardiovascular

diseases, AIDS, and other infections.

Possible Locations for Happiness

You could look for happiness at different locations like your family,

friends, career, and education. Your aim is to do away with negative

occurrences like illness, poverty, failure, rejection and other difficult situations. Hence, your key to happiness lies in striving and rising

above such negativities to attain the level of happiness.

Where to start your Quest

The foundation of your happiness lies in your choice to be happy.

You have to commit yourself to be happy and make it the most

important aim of your life. The onus of your happiness is with you

and you cannot transfer this responsibility to anybody else. You also

cannot hold anybody else responsible for causing you unhappiness.

Both happiness and unhappiness lies within you and you alone can

make the right choice of the two.

Although there are different social organizations, self-help books,

and counselors to help you in your quest for happiness, nothing

works better than your own effort for your quest for happiness. The

first step towards this quest lies in prioritizing your personal growth.

Copyright © 2006 Joseph Miller

11.

How to be Happy: A Complete Guide to Rational Living

Page 12 of 104

Set goals, achieve, and then set higher achievement levels for

yourself. Do not overdo your goals as then it could lead to more

unhappiness if you keep setting goals one after another. Focus on

realistic and practical goals.

Consider an obstacle as an opportunity to grow and reach closer to

your goals. Your failures are your steps to your success. Do not

brood over your disappointments and look beyond them. Learn from

your mistakes and proceed towards your main goal of being happy.

Become mentally strong to deal with all hurdles and become

capable of dealing with difficult situations. Locate role models like

happy and successful people to start with your quest for happiness.

Look deep into their attempts to overcome depression, stress, and

other negative emotions and come out as a highly successful person

in life.

Copyright © 2006 Joseph Miller

12.

How to be Happy: A Complete Guide to Rational Living