God Saw You Kill My Two Little Friends! by Never Again - HTML preview

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My own husband kept setting me up trying to get rid of me. When sex and money expire with Sherry and others he would come calling on me. While in jail this 2 year stretch I wrote my story. I didn't catch on till many years after Billy's death all these years Billy and Sherry was turning me in to the law every time we got back together. I couldn't tolerate being in population.

I pretended to be suicidal wanting out of population. I tore up a white sheet, twisted it around my neck using a pen for a vice to tie it off so I could not change my mind. It got their attention. I was thrown into a metal cell metal beds metal sink no pillow no nothing no clothes a bologna sandwich three times a day.

I got my private room then talked the doctor into giving me a fresh prescription for Elevils. For two years I hid them in the bottom of my mattress till I got enough to overdose on. My room-mate went to church one day I took them all. She came back and found me. I was hoping there had been enough time lapse to die.

Miss Nurse Grace took care of me all this time and issued my pills to me. She let me take a shower at nights when she came in. She was good to me. She put a TV in front of a little hole so I could watch TV. She would bring me matches and my cigarettes. Food did no good to bring I flushed it down the toilet for as long as I can remember.

When they weighed me a trustee gave me a large thick book. I put this under my uniform for weight so they would think I was not losing anything. Believe me this was hard to do when dinner was chicken or something that smelled really good I still flushed it. They never came into the room so they didn't know there was a book in there.

They turned off all the television sets in the jail the overdose incident was being televised. This way they thought none of the other inmates could get the same idea. This is why they now crush your medication in a tiny paper cup and watch you take it. Four days later in the hospital they finally took it all to court.

Because of the first two years and those last two years I was free. They put me on supervised probation which down the road I violated many times over. I still owed fines, court cost and attorney fees of $3,900.00. After they released me I saw the nurse put my prescription for Elevils behind their desk in the hall.

A crazy girl was screaming in the room I got them in there to help her while I stole my prescription back. Then the fucking law decided I needed to be baker acted. I knew this would be no problem for me to talk their doctors into releasing me which I did and they did. I went to a friend's house to see if I could stay Billy was there. He's a Christmas baby it was Christmas.

He decided I was his Christmas present, but I was no longer in love with anyone at this point! We had sex that night as always before it was lousy boring and always took a minute or two it was over meant nothing to me. Billy is a one timer not even good at that. He has a small penis. No cuddling, no affection and he know nothing about foreplay yet he bragged to everyone.

We went out to bars that night they spent all my money. Billy went back to our old apartment living with Sherry and their son. I waited for him to come back like he promised for about four or five days. I went back into strip dancing several times within the next couple of years. One way to make quick money, but too many violent deaths and money stolen time and again.

It wasn't worth staying with these kind of jobs. Lots of men drugs and alcohol in this job, but no tax returns and hard to hang onto your money. Several times I gave men money anywhere from $600.00-$800.00 to get cocaine and would never see them again. Too many times friends men or other dancers stole my money.

I always tried to attract what I called the suit and ties. They usually owned a business or clubs and always had plenty of cocaine alcohol and drugs. Comfortable in the fact that 99% of men can't get it up while on coke or while drinking I was usually pretty safe in that area. They mostly wanted female company.

I wanted to get these kind of people trusting me so I could come and go in their establishments be trusted and do coke with them it usually worked. Sometimes I would be with a dancer or bartender who would put out and I'd still be safe in that area. I eventually always went back to Billy he was out of money of course.

Sherry nor other women or friends had money it was easier this time to kick them out for me. He always let them come back. I was tired of the no where dancing jobs, restaurants closing down, Billy going with Sherry and others, kicking me out whenever he wanted and running through all my money. I decided Denny's Restaurant is a big company.

Back then they were mostly all still Corporate and wouldn't be a company likely to close down. I had seen the cooks in the windows. I've been head cook or just a cook at a lot of places already so it couldn't be all that hard. Kind of a challenge since most all restaurants such as I-Hop, Perkins, Olive Gardens and Denny's are restaurants with the largest menus to remember.

I was State certified so I would only have to get certified through their corporate office. I started out in the dish room. I got all my work done and hang out on the line cooking prepping and helping the cooks. A few days I was running everything in the restaurant. They loved my work and with all the other cooks recommendations they put me on line as a cook.

I needed a white shirt, black pants and black shoes. I hadn't gotten a check yet. I was working for Sonny's BBQ pit earning cash tips for the uniform I needed to go online as a cook at Denny's. Working both jobs to get enough to get a uniform together. I was only making $10.00 a day in tips at the Pit it's a really slow place.

I hitchhiked to a thrift store to get the shirt and pants, but still not enough for shoes. I'd have to work another day at the pit to get enough for shoes. A man picked me up to give me a ride. He said; "He would give me $50.00 for sex." I was desperate to have this job get away from Billy. Billy had gone with so many women and exes.

I wanted this job it was becoming an obsession to me. In my mind this job was the ending of all the bad luck in restaurants, a great start to a new career. I would not have thought then that 35 or so years down the road it would be the ending of my career and of me emotionally.

After all I'd been through in life what was a few minutes of my time to get shoes today and not have to work in that stupid pit. Everyone else has used me and my pussy up in life what the hell would it matter if one more man did it to me? No one cares about me anyway. No one would know or care. We drove way out to somewhere I don't know where far away.

After we fucked when it was over he stopped at a store. He gave me a couple of dollars and told me to get us both a beer. I thought how nice of him. I came out with our beer and watched the man drive off with my purse, shirt, pants AND the money. I not only didn't know where I was, but had to start over again. I couldn't tell anyone what happened.

I felt humiliated and disgusted with myself, nasty and dirty. I couldn't get into a shower I didn't know where I was in no where land in the heat in Florida. I eventually made enough to get the uniform and found my way home. I was in as a cook. They loved my hard work, determination, commitment, loyalty, presentation, speed, deep cleaning and could lift more than most men.

We were still into drugs and alcohol heavy. Billy and I got into a huge fight over giving Sherry free acid, beer and pot. I caught her many times in between his legs him in between her's. She always threatened to whip my ass, but this day she sat down and cried. I called her on it! Billy and Sherry moved to Orlando doing more than working together.

He was swearing to me they were not fucking. Sherry was also fucking Connie, Billy's uncle and some of the other men on their crew. So, yeah right! Sherry will fuck a lot of men in one night. I've seen her do it. She had sex with her boyfriend then came over to our house and had sex with our neighbor then with our room-mate and was trying Billy all in the same day.

She is a fucking tramp. My work shoes were at the apartment where we lived so I couldn't go back to get them. I wore my LA Gear Tennis shoes into work that day. The manager gave me such a hassle over not having the correct shoes. She wanted to send me home and was yelling at me all day over shoes.

They were locking up freezers and coolers for security because other cooks were shopping there. I know this to be true. I was rooming with a couple of them off and on. Crazy in my mind I was in no emotional shape to take all this yelling from her. She can kiss my ass. I still had that full bottle of Elevils in my possession.

I started taking them two at a time crying while she kept yelling at me. No one knew I was sweating hard working on that line dripping with sweat taking Elevils and having a nervous breakdown. I had no home, no human to care about or to care about me and everyone wants to take my babies and all men want to do is be mean to me.

And all my family wanted to do is be mean to me and managers were always mean to me. She was really pissing me off I was thinking and feeling that none of them know I'm going to leave never come back I meant that literally. By the end of the shift I should have enough Elevils in me to go somewhere to hide and take the rest and hopefully die this time.

I had enough of this bullshit manager yelling at me. I asked her to unlock the freezer I needed some stuff she went in the freezer to get what I needed and I locked her in and said; "Now you'll shut up." I'd been there a couple years by this time. I let tickets and customers add up during the shift. Me my incorrect shoes and Elevils walked out.

I left the Restaurant full of hungry people and the manager in the freezer. What else could I do? She wouldn't shut up! They could not call in a cook we were all at a party. The servers saw the only cook walking out so they went to the party too. They hired me back by the way I'm THAT good of a worker. I went to a bar good a place as any to commit suicide.

I can get shit face while I get shit faced. A man I talked to many times for a lot of years in many bars starting talking to me. Keep in mind I was still steady taking Elevils on through the night. I knew he wouldn't hurt me or take advantage of the situation. I was thinking this man has a heart of gold why not stick him with this suicide mission.

I kept talking to him all night while drinking and taking Elevils. The bar was closing. The bartender asked him if he knew me and said; "I think she's trying to overdose. Could you please take her and watch out for her." He didn't know what or how many I had taken. I don't remember leaving the bar. I knew I was in good hands though. This was also an old friend of Woody's.

I laid on his bathroom floor and don't know how many days past. Laying in my own puke, blood and alcohol, but still alive. Guess this means I have to suck ass with the General Manager of Denny's huh? Sick and weak I sucked up to the G. M. at Denny's and they took me back, but I had no where to stay.

I went to Vince's. Remember my old friend I mentioned who owned a house boat on Snead Island next to Stone Crab Restaurant for many years? Though he was married to Mary now he still owned the houseboat and the friendship didn't end between Donna, Vince, Mary or I just because he married one of us.

I stayed with him a couple of days he introduced me to some friends of his who brought a boat up from under the Ocean to restore. They let me rent this nasty boat with no windows, mosquitos, wasp, bees and the like and people partying on it all the time, but it was a place to lay down at night when things cooled down a little after work and the bars.

Sherry was in town visiting Billy's mom and family. I was hanging out at a bar called the Sunshine Inn. I knew the owner's Ken and Kim. Woody and I hung out in there for years always stayed all night many nights to do cocaine with them they thought the world of me.

There were many days I wandered in strung out from being kicked out by Kevin, Woody, Billy or strung out from dancing all night or when I get kicked out or raped. They give me coffee, beer, whiskey or cocaine. Whatever I needed they would help me. Sherry and Billy's sister, Dixie came in and sat at the other end of the bar. I didn't talk to them, but sent them a beer.

They asked me to come sit with them. Sherry and Dixie told me Billy was through with me. He'd been using me and he was to be with Sherry from here on out and wants me to leave them alone. Billy always went to his mom's with Sherry on holidays though as his wife I was never invited for anything. They had family drawings Billy always got Sherry's name.

I found her name in his pants and asked him about it. He said; "It was no big deal I bought her a stereo system I always get her name." He told me to leave. I was being kicked out again. He said; "We need to take a break." We had not been together very long why would we need a break so soon? I didn't want to take a break from the marriage or him.

I wanted him to be affectionate towards me. To love me, hold me stay with me, but he could never do any of this, not for me. I wasn't hard to live with and not that bad to look at. I always tried to look out for my weight, not be bitchy, I buy whatever and do whatever I was told to do. So why didn't him or anyone want to be with me?

No one in life ever wanted to be with me. I loved going to the Manatee River in between jobs or bars sit there all alone stare at the water and play over and over "Sittin on The Dock of the Bay" by "Otis Redding." I hope I spelled his name right did him justice I loved his voice and songs.

My dreams and fantasy is that I was to meet and marry Otis Redding and he would sing to me forever. And Cinderella's shoes were my hand me downs. On this night Sherry and Dixie was in the wrong bar! After they were through with what they had to say to me I quietly went back to the other end of the bar. I told Kris what they were doing to me.

He escorted them outside and told them this is Mary's bar. She's our friend, she's been coming here for many years we love her. Get the hell out of our bar and out of our parking lot don't come back ever AND watched them drive down the road. There would not be any trouble when I left the bar that night.

Sherry came to Denny's the next night and told me she was through raising Billy. She has a kid to raise and no longer has the money time nor patience to tolerate Billy. I can have him if I wanted. I was working two full time cook positions at two Denny's making killer money.

I was collecting up furniture storing it at one of the waitresses house till I could get an apartment. I planned on having all the stuff by the time I found a place. I was staying wherever I could stay. Most everyone I was finding to stay with had one problem or another. One waitress was getting a divorce so we had to leave that house.

Another was getting evicted so we had to leave that house. Situation after situation I just couldn't win, but kept trying. I called Billy. Of course knowing I was doing good finally had money in my pockets again at least 4 or 5 checks coming in all the time back to back he said; "I'm broke if you wire me money I will come get you." In the car I bought he took. Imagine that.

I wired him money three days later he hadn't shown up yet. I bought a living room suit, big TV and a water bed. Enough stuff and furniture to fill an apartment. I put it all in storage then talked to the district leader which was Bugs. He used to be the window washer for Denny's in Bradenton for many years and is now a district leader in Orlando.

I talked him into giving me a transfer to Orlando. Off to find Billy stupid or what? I'm a glutton what can I say? Hey from what you've read already does it look like I make good choices or decisions? Oh HELL no! I still can't do that! He started going through my money right away. I was transferred to the East Col. Denny's which is one of only a few corporate stores left.

Update on that I'm 60 now the East Colonial Denny's closed down a few years ago. I finally made it to where Billy was staying which was way out in bum fuck a small town called Bithlo. This is where all the true rednecks in dilapidated trailers live. He played the happy to see me and how happy he was his wife and him are back together routine.

Still couldn't get sex out of this alcoholic. Nor clean him up still nasty as ever. While going to get my furniture in Bradenton his drunk friend poured cold water into our hot radiator. I heard the block crack. Back in Orlando without my furniture and now no vehicle. Three years I rode my ten speed or walked 30-40 miles one way 30-40 miles back.

Most times after working double shifts. Another cook, Ed and a dish washer, Bobby talked with this land lord for a year or so, but never come up with the money for deposit or rent. This apartment would turn my bike ride into a couple miles instead of 50 or 60. I gave him a deposit and a few months rent in advance. Ed the cook was pissed with me.

Him and the dishwasher partied with me a lot. I thought they would be happy for me. They both had apartments close and had given the man no money. They said; "You took the apartment from us." The land lord said; "He was tired of holding the apartment." Billy's drunk ass friend he grew up, Don and his crack head girlie friend, Donna lived with us off and on for years.

Don went to school with Billy. Don has many girlfriends which always lived with us too or should I say, "Lived off of us (me)." Don and his last girlfriend Donna was on rock cocaine and caused so many problems for this landlord. Even though he thought the world of me he said; "We had to get out" after renting from him for over a couple of years.

He tried to get Billy to get rid of them, but Billy refused to kick them out. This man was such a good landlord that when they picked me up once again on some old charges I was still paying on and taking care of he took my phone calls and was willing to help any way he could. Turns out he couldn't really help I had to go through the system.

I was doing way better at getting all the things done that were court ordered in each county and state. I've heard so many stories over the years of the court ordered classes driving safety counseling DUI school anger management drug counseling parenting classes NA and AA all the court ordered stuff. I've done all of them at least two to three times each.

It was so costly time consuming confusing and a nightmare! I've been handed down at least three or four I don't know exactly 15 year sentences. County time is harder I keep sliding by through Grace and Mercy would be my guess. Ed started sexually harassing me for longest time I didn't say anything.

The general manager Mrs. Winegar who is now managing in a Sarasota Denny's was listening watching this go on for a long time she knew I had done no wrong. I came to relieve him one night he started harassing me again. Calling me dirty names. Being slick about it so the managers wouldn't see or hear what he was doing or saying.

He finally pushed my buttons I yelled; "Get off my line shut the fuck up let me do my job it's my line now!" The manager on duty fired me. I went to work for Red Lobster washing dishes. Mrs. Winegar scheduled a meeting with Mr. Bentley which was the head of human resource's from corporate Denny's. We met at Chi Chi's.

They said; "You have a legal $10,000.00 law suit. What do you want to do? How do you want us to handle this?" If I knew now you know that saying. I said; "All I want is to work just transfer me to Lee Rd. Denny's". I didn't think they were seriously going to give me a lawsuit. They gave me the transfer.

I was back to riding my ten speed or walking 40 to 50 miles again one way and 40 to 50 miles back home. I was still working doubles and long hours, but making good money. I was never making what I'm worth or what I should have been making or what the men always made.

I felt I worked harder, faster and had better presentation and cleanliness than most percentage of cooks. I have to start all over with starting pay no matter which Denny's it is. When you leave one go to another you go back to your starting salary. WOW look how old I am now still at starting rate!

Just no fair this thing called life I don't know where my camel and straws are anymore. They got weighed down long ago. Connie was a good friend and waitress had been there many years is still there. Over two hundred pounds had a lot of surgeries and health problems. She needed to eat a lot or she would get sick. Many of us cooks feed her.

On third shift the food gets thrown out from swing shift. We give her food being tossed anyway. Lucia an ass hole manager warned us not to give her or anyone food without a ticket. Connie wanted mashed potatoes we were throwing out. I tried getting Lucia's attention telling her to get me a ticket, but she ignored me.

Connie took the mashed potatoes anyway. Lucia was already on everyone's shit list. I had a really good partner I had worked with this boy for a couple of years we were a good team together. Him and I handled Friday Saturday and Sunday nights by ourselves. We jammed out to music had our own system of working together. She came in and ruined everything.

She made us turn off the music. Made us work everything her way. She insulted my partner all the time. Made us cook for her big girlie friend dancing parties all the time the boss didn't know she was doing. She made us cook four or five big meals for her family every day or night when she left. She was mean as shit to my partner. He had enough of her one night.

They got into a big fight he walked out. Hence she's on the shit list. Her and I were now on our own on Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights at Lee Road Denny's the highest volume area AND right next to Ettenville. I knew I was fucked. On Saturday night she told me to go do the day shift prep. I knew that was a mistake it was a Saturday night.

She was going to need me here in a few minutes stupid bitch. She wanted to show me she could run the line without me. Ok sure you can while it's slow because you made the previous cook set you up, but in a few minutes your going to be crying for help. When it hits it's fast furious all night then Ettenville closes their bars and you start all over.

When it hit she started yelling for my help tickets were pouring in. She was begging screaming all night the waitress were begging me to help her too so they could make some money. I told her I couldn't do nothing about it I have to get day shifts prep done. I left her there on that line drowning all night by herself when six O clock hit the next morning I hit that door.

I left her with her own mess and everyone walked out all night pissed. I knew she was going to fire me too so I wanted to do her in first. After all the meals and parties we cooked for this manager she was in her office writing me up for stealing food fired me put a no rehire on me after working there over seven years.

I said; "Are you writing me up for stealing food yet you know what really happened?" She said; "Yes can you please go get the dishwasher for me?" I had been giving the dishwasher a ride for over a year or so. She had not fired me at this point till I did what I did. I told her I'll go get him and didn't show back up with him nor me.

Now I could not get into any franchises nor corporate stores. I was getting worried. There are too many Denny's and restaurants for me to be unemployed. I got hired at the Airport Denny's which is a franchise ran and owned by the same people from the Alafaya Denny's Golden Management. It started with just a few joints to a few people in my first Denny's restaurant.

That turned into half ounces to ounces to QPs to half pounds to a pound eventually 4 pounds turned into 6 pounds. A young curly blonde haired man always accompanied the young boy I had been getting drugs and pot from for a few years. He had never introduced me officially before. I never asked. Figured it wasn't any of my business who he was.

One day after many years of dealing with him the young blonde curly guy walked up and shook my hand saying, "Hi I'm Pit-Bull. I'm the one you've actually been dealing with for the last couple of years. Just been checking you out. Would you like to get in on better prices through me?"

Pit-Bull, that's all I'm going to call him turned me onto 98% cocaine for a great price unlimited amounts. I was selling it uncut while everyone else was cutting their's two to three times. And getting pounds of pot WAY cheaper. Also sheets of triple dip acid Mister natural as us oldies know it by.

Managers, General managers, District leaders, servers, cooks,  and dishwashers, people were coming out of the wood work to buy the uncut 98% coke. My stash was excellent I didn't need to keep a stash anymore. I was doing coke 24-7 on the road deliveries were astronomical. My dealer turned me onto sheets of triple dip acid. Getting really big.

I still wanted to work, but no longer cared if they mistreated me now. I had a great backup it wouldn't matter to me anymore now. It took a year for Mrs. Coffield to find out I was in one of her stores. She told the managers she didn't care what they had to do to get me out of her store. Denny's has gone through a lot of uniform standards and changes.

We were now allowed to wear baseball hats. Supposedly only the ones with Denny's logo, but most cooks were wearing baseball hats from the streets without Denny's logo. If you didn't have one you were to wear the paper chef hats provided by the company. Many years ago it was cloth chef hats very starched.

It was manager's discretion as to which hats were to be worn. Most of them didn't care as long as your hair was contained. I've got a small head after sweating on those hot lines the paper hat would fall into my eyes preventing me from seeing the checks. Madam Coffield put a manager from the Alafaya store in that was there when she put the no rehire on me.

Mr. Tawilager was the one who had to cook two shifts when I walked out from that store. I had been there two years full time and with Mr. Aloma from the Semeron Store full time. Mr. Aloma outbid Alafaya on my money so I would quit and work solely for him then didn't give me the money he promised me.

Part owner and acting manager on the shift, Mr. Tawilager told me not to come back if I leave. I had given them the legal two weeks notice ample notice and was fulfilling my last shifts. I was working two shifts training two cooks on both shifts. He warned me two or three times that if I walked out that door don't come back. I finally walked out and got another no rehire.

Sucked I was only what a few minutes to legally clocking out? Mrs. Coffield told him to do whatever it takes to get me out of her store. Mr. Tawilager was also the manager on duty when I walked out on the Alafaya Trail store after being harassed by Mr. Brandon. He had to cook the next shift in my place or until he could get a replacement.

I took the sweaty paper hat off after it fell apart with sweat he raised hell about it. Here was his opportunity to fire me. I was training two cooks on two shift that day. One of them was my room-mate who would be coming in soon. I told him I would call Danny have him bring in either a baseball hat or a cloth chef hat whichever he preferred.

He still went off and said; "Put the paper hat back on or else." I said; "Or else what?" He said; "Or else you no longer have a job." I tried to explain how gross and unsanitary the paper hats were. He harassed me for hours over this. I was tired of being harassed mistreated by managers general managers and district leaders.

After a few minutes of staring each other down seeing who was going to give first or back off I said; "I guess I don't have a job." Danny didn't show up there was no one to train him.  Danny would not come in without me training him. Danny trusted very few people. He had been abused by his father and in prison. A very small man, but good hearted.

He did coke, pot and drank with Billy and I he has lived with us off and on for quite a few years. Of course he wouldn't be showing up. I called a meeting with the district leader general manager and Mr. Tawilager just to be a real smart ass. One of the day cooks I trained now a manager of another Denny's and Danny went to the meeting with me.

I took every kind of hat allowed by Denny's specs to show the pros and cons between the hats. After my presentation the General Manager Track said; "I had made some very good points and issues." The manager said; "Bottom line you would not do what I told you to do so your still fired."

Labor board said; "I would win the case," but another turn of events came about in my life the case was dismissed. I could no longer fight the cause after what happened next. My sales on pot triple dip acid and the 98% coke was tripling every couple of days.

Even when a lot of people would rip me off sometimes for only a couple hundred dollars sometimes for over nine hundred dollars it still didn't hurt me. Pit Bull was moving to California talking to me about leaving me all his business. He said; "I was the only one he trusted this much to take over." He introduced me to a big burley gorgeous guy.

This gorgeous bearded man man said; "When you take over you will never see me. This will be the only time you will see me. I'll tell you where to pick up you drop the money." Billy continued threatening to take my truck a brand new F- 150 Ford Explorer the dope money the baby and leave.

You know how people are whoever has the money and dope people will stick by you and be faithful. Everyone kept telling me what he was planning. He had no vehicle, no home, no food, no money and no alcohol or drugs without me. Every time he left me or kicked me out he would go back to living like a rat sleeping on floors without sheets or blankets well you know the story.

The man just can't be cleaned up. I was beginning to see I married a sorry, dirty, rotting alcoholic. Remember although I was still doing drugs I wasn't clouded by alcohol anymore. Good consolation, reasoning, justifying or what? I could see what I could not see over the years of alcoholism. What could I have seen in this man? How could I have overdosed over him?

Many wasted years, many wasted tears and many wasted times with abusive alcoholic men. Sex had never been anything worth bragging about now it was never, but I was glad of that. I hated it when he did want it I knew it wouldn't ever be worth my time. It wasn't on my mind anymore. Billy wasn't blessed with much to talk about in the penis area.

Nor could he go beyond himself getting off. No