I swear chief we weren’t playing cards.
First published – Mar 29 2007.
Back again,
Thought we could take another trip down memory lane.
I was working in the kitchen x-wing, Goulburn gaol and since things had been pretty boring around the place cards and gambling in general had gained even more popularity than usual.
On top of the usual comps and games at the wing me and a few other lads were running a work comp to try and hustle a bit of extra coin.
Now gambling is banned in gaol and so we had to keep it on the sly which wasn‟t easy since the games we played needed score sheets and win loss books.
The best spot for us to get a table or two going was in a cage at the rear of the kitchen.
This cage was just a concrete square about 2.2 meters by maybe 6 meters with fencing around it and a roof, it was for the lads to use outside for smoking.
We would all ways have someone at the back door of the kitchen who would call out if the screws were coming to check up on us and by the time they came through the door and walked through the oven room and into the cage the game would be well hidden.
The problem was that after an hour or so the screws would notice guys were missing from the work area especially since the games would attract a crowd and soon only 5-10 of the 50 odd blokes would be working!
I had been there over a year and never came close to being pinched playing cards but there was one screw that knew I was basically coming to work and gambling on cards all day.
He would get to the back door and hear our lookout call out and then he would try and jog round the corner to catch us in time but he was always too late.
Eventually I guess he got sic of being laughed at as he came around the corner and so he got shifty.
He walked all the way around the back of this massive kitchen complex and up to the cage from out of no where.
In the middle of a big hand we didn‟t notice he was there until he yelled busted!
After he called that out he fumbled for his keys and opened the back door of the cage up, the problem for him was it took a few seconds and we quickly hid the cards and score sheet under a near by bin.
He almost exploded when he got in and we denied we had been playing cards even though he had seen us.
We all burst into laughter until he looked on the hot water system above my mates head and found a deck of cards sitting in plain sight!
The worst thing was they weren‟t our cards!
He had found someone else‟s deck that they could have hidden better.
He cussed and cursed and docked us all every cent of that weeks pay ( $30 - 60
depending on the job).
The game went back to normal the next day and he never caught us again.
I suspect he didn‟t try as hard after catching us the first time, too much effort and he had already bragged to his fellow screws and taken the piss out of everyone for docking there pay that week.
He was a monumental dickhead that screw, kept us amused though cause even the other screws didn‟t like him and they usually stick together.
Other screws would tell us about his mis fortunes and embarrassing moments on the outside of the prison walls so that we could take the piss out of him more than we did them...Gold!!
I have to say though the shifty bastard did catch us that day, well sort of. lol Back soon.
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