Do you find yourself listening to the advice of female friends about
how to attract women and often find that it doesn’t work? I did for
years. I even made the ultimate mistake of asking girls I was dating
how I should act. Many guys have the mentality that if they want to
learn about what women want, they should ask women. It seems
logical enough but it doesn’t work for one major reason – Women
don’t know what they want! It’s a sad reality that very few women will
actually admit to you. A woman’s emotions are all over the place
because of hormones and thousands of years of genetic coding. She
is constantly battling whether to follow primal urges or to listen to
advice from women’s magazines or friends, or her conscience. One
day she might be in the mood for a sensitive guy, the next a funny
guy, then a week later she’s in the mood for a musician type. One
day she wants a guy who’s domineering and the next a sweet
sensitive guy who gives her all the space in the world.
To prove this, all we need to do is look at the book "Blink" written by Malcolm Gladwell. In the book he examines what he calls "The power
of thinking without thinking". The concept is that the reasons that we
SAY we do things are often very different than the reasons we
actually do them. Gladwell talks about a study done by two Columbia
University professors who set up speed dating events in New York
City. The men at the events were given 6 minutes to talk to eight
different women to see if there was an attraction there. After meeting
everyone in the room, the men and women were given a secret ballot
to check off which people they were interested in. If both people
checked off each other, they were given each others' email
addresses. The professors asked all of the women to fill out a
questionnaire before each speed dating event, after the event, one
month later and six months later. The questionnaire asked the
women to rate what they were looking for in a mate on a scale of 1 to
10. The categories are: Attractiveness, shared Interests, sense of
humor, sincerity, intelligence and ambition. After each 6 minute date,
they were also asked to rate the person they just dated on the same
scale. After repeating this "experiment" an innumerous amount of
times what the professors found was astounding. The questionnaire
that the women filled out about what they were looking for in a mate and the guys that they actually selected had absolutely no correlation.
In fact, what they said they wanted in a man and the men they
choose were often completely opposite. Another amazing observation
made by the professors was that the women's ranking order of what
they were looking for often changed the day after the event. They
found that if a woman met a few guys that she liked who were more
"attractive and funny" than "sincere and intelligent", the next day
when she filled out the same questionnaire, her preference order
would completely change. She'd all of a sudden rank attractive and
funny higher than sincere and intelligent. After doing this experiment
with thousands of women, this pattern held true in almost all cases!
Another thing that happened in almost all of these cases was that
when filling out the same questionnaire one month later they'd go
back to the original answers they had chosen the first day they filled
the questionnaire out.
This doesn't necessarily mean that women have no idea what they
want, it's just incomplete. This is where you step in with your
confidence and technique to "complete" it. The description that she
starts with of her ideal mate is her conscious ideal. But much of this goes out the window when subconscious thought, feelings and
genetic programming kick in. This is why you need to take what a
woman says about what she wants in a man with a grain of salt.
Never assume that you're not her type, even if she says it. YOU can
easily become the type of man she wants.
Throw Logic Out the Window
I'm about to tell about a mistake that 99% of guys (who haven't read
this book) make when trying to get a woman to like them. They try to
use logic to appeal to women. They try to reason their way into to her
pants. This will NEVER work. Why? Because women work very
differently then men. The sooner you understand and accept that the
better off you’ll be. Women are not creatures of logic - they are
creatures of FEELING. They don't use their brains to feel attraction
and most men spend the majority of their time trying to appeal to her
brain instead of making her feel. You can never convince a woman to
have feelings for you if she doesn't. Watching a guy try to convince a
girl to like him can be fun to watch. It’ll never work because women
are genetically programmed to use feeling, not logic, as their primary gauge of attraction.