Before we start, please keep one thing in mind; Confidence and arrogance are two totally different things. If you confuse the two, you will most certainly become a very unhappy person with very few real friends. Arrogance isNOT a “quality” and it won’t help you reach your goalsany faster.
Confidence in oneself, or the lackthereof iswhat stopspeople from getting tightly focused on what they want to achieve. That little voice telling them they can't do something istheir biggest UN-motivator. What can YOU do to gain confidence?
Thiscan take a bit of practice and looksreally funny, but try it, it works. When you wake up, give yourself a great big hug. Do the same when it’stime for sleep.
You’ve heard thissaid a million times before: “How can you expect othersto love you if you don't love yourself?” It’strue. Practice the morning and evening hugsfor 2 weeks, maybe 3 weeksif you're the stubborn type and you’ll see how well it works.
Every time you passa mirror, lookinto it and flash your biggest and best smile at yourself. It might feel strange at first, but eventually it’ll make you feel brilliant about yourself. Tell yourself “Looking good!” or “Wow, I love me!” or similar phrasesoften enough to actually start believing it.
Thiscan be anything from listening to music, trekking in the Andes, doing some volunteer workor even just taking a shower. Anything that givesyou a positive feeling about yourself worksfor thisone.
Face it. Nobody knows you better than you know yourself, no matter how many people try to tell you differently. So if your body, mind or gut istelling you something, then take notice of it, and don't worry about what other people may possibly have to say about it.
In timesof stress, take a time-out break. Wander into your own mind and have a conversation with yourself about anything at all. Tell yourself how lucky you are to be you, and praise yourself for every good and positive thing you can attribute to yourself.
If anything feelslike it’sdragging you down, get rid of it. If it’sclutter, tidy up, if it’sa friend full of negativity explain nicely that you don’t really feel up to talking right now. If it’syour kidsacting up, leave the room for a while and so on.
Surround yourself with thingsthat bring out good feelingsin you. Examples could be thingssuch ashappy, upbeat friends, a nice new picture, a new car, an old comfy blanket, candles, picturesof your family, your girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse etc.
Did you hear something about somebody who said something about somebody else? Drop it! Rumoursare nasty, horrible thingsthat will only bring you down. Best way to kill a rumour? Ignore it!
Be totally honest with yourself at all times. If there’ssomething you don't like, admit it. If there’ssomething you don’t want to do “right now” and it isn’t necessary for health and safety reasonsthen just don’t do it until you feel like it.
Same goesfor the positive aspects. If there’ssomething you want to do, and it’snot hurting anybody, then go ahead and do it. If you start feeling great about yourself for no apparent reason admit it and enjoy the feeling.
Take full responsibility for your own actions. Don't shove the blame for anything over onto someone or something else. We all make choicesin our lives, and once we take responsibility for those choiceswe tend to choose better for ourselves.
Once we start to choose better, we feel better and thingsstart falling into place. On the other hand, don't take over someone else’sresponsibilitiesjust because you feel “you have to”.
If you feel unsafe, unsure or nervousthen go inside yourself and pretend you’re a hot-shot lawyer, actor, actress, singer or whatever you need to be. Make believe you’re presenting yourself asthat person would until you feel better. Trust me, you WILL feel better, and eventually have no need to be anything but yourself.
If you’re trying to do something but don't get it right first time round, then try again, and again, and again, constantly learning from your mistakesuntil you get it right. When you finally DO get it right, you’ll feel wonderful about it.
If you’ve done something really good, and people compliment you on it, accept the complimentswith thanks! Understand that they’re complimenting because they really ARE impressed with what you’ve done.
Believe in you and give yourself a pat on the back. (Although physically it would probably be easier to just give yourself a round of applause).Standing up straight will ALWAYS make you feel better about yourself than slouching does. Stand with your feet slightly apart, suck in your tummy and behind, broaden your shouldersand straighten your neck. It’san amazingly quickconfidence boost.
Make it a rule to say hi to at least one person you don't know EVERY day. Give them the smile you flash at yourself in the mirror, the biggest and best one you can find. They’ll smile backautomatically, and they’ll walkaway with a little extra confidence boost thanksto you.
People look their best when they smile, and they also feel better by smiling too! Thisultimately meansyou get a confidence boost too, for making someone else feel good about themselves.
If you think something can’t be done, then you'll end up proving yourself right eventually. So never say never, just keep plugging along until it worksfor you. If other people are telling you it can’t be done, you're going to feel such immense satisfaction at actually doing it that your confidence will soar.
Don't sit around the house just doing nothing. Get up, go out, cycling, walking, exercising, anything that might invigorate your brain. A lively brain full of thoughts will help you gain confidence.
Happy foods, such aschocolate, strawberries, lemons, ice-cream etcwill increase the serotonin levelsin your brain, leading to an increased feeling of happiness.
Feeling happy isa natural confidence boost. So go on, enjoy your food! (in moderation, of course).Isthere something you are afraid of? Face it full on. Doing something scary and overcoming the fear isa fantasticway to boost your confidence. So go on, jump out of that plane (with a parachute of course), drive that car, speak in front of a large crowd, askfor a promotion, or whatever it isthat scaresyou. You'll feel absolutely brilliant once it’sdone.
Create a goal that you really want to reach. Possibly something like weight lossbefore a certain time, giving up smoking or having a certain amount of money in the bankwithin so many monthsetc. Take baby steps, and use your willpower until you succeed at reaching your goal.
It will be really hard, as will power can be veryelusive at times, but keep going and don't give up. Once you have reached that first goal by using your willpower you will have the confidence to create new goalsAND reach them.
Any time you find yourself worrying about something you haven’t done, or something you thinkyou should have done, askyourself positive questions. Instead of thinking “I’m terrible for missing my friend’sbirthday” think “What can I do to make my friend feel special?”
Or, instead of “Why can’t I ever seem to do thingson time?” change it to “What can I change to better manage my time” Creating positive questionswill release the negative energieswhich have a tendency to pull down your self confidence.
Accept that not everything worksout the way we plan it. Decide to accept any mistakes and rejectionsaspart of a learning curve that we all need to go through.
Without mistakes, you can’t learn from your own experiences. Remember, experience buildsconfidence, so alwayslearn asmuch asyou can.Write a list of every single thing you're good at, anything from clipping the dog’stoenailsto putting up a shelf. Take the time to sit and actually think about what you ARE good at and add them all to the list. You'll be surprised at how many thingsyou end up jotting down, no matter how minor or trivial they may seem at the time.
Whenever you have a spare 5 minutes, or if you're feeling a little low, take the list out of your pocket and read it. Thisisa great little way to give yourself a nice confidence boost.
There are lotsof waysto help others, and feeling useful and helpful are great waysof building your confidence. Just make sure you do thingsbecause you WANT to do them. You could call a good friend who may be down at the moment-even take them out for coffee, you will brighten both your days, or you could possibly help out at an old folkshome or similar. Knowing that people appreciate your help will boost your confidence for sure.
Think of the one thing you do best of all. Thinklong and hard about thisone. Thought of something? Now, find a discussion group or similar related to that topicand spread your wisdom by answering questions, offering advice or help to anybody needing it. If you can’t find a group, you could even start one yourself.
People will lookup to you and that will give you all the more reason to feel confident about yourself.