The next month brought numerous visits from Theoton. They only talked. He went so far as to leave the door open. No one could question what went on inside the nursery. Sometimes, if Vasy was awake, Theoton played games with his son. Other times, if Vasy was drowsy, he read or sang to the boy. If Vasy was already asleep by the time Theoton was through with business and dining, he’d come into the nursery, kiss his son’s cheek tenderly, then turn his attention to Nerissa.
In addition to Vasy’s progress, they spoke of many things. She learned a great deal about the history of Ithaca. Also, the manufacture of shields and armor. She asked him to explain the details of negotiating contracts. With a bemused smile, Theoton obliged. He was convinced she only asked out of politeness. Insisting that he couldn’t bear to bore her, he kept his answer short. He quickly changed the subject to the sights he’d seen during his recent trip to Stratos.
Then Theoton asked about her family. He had no way of knowing this was a very painful subject, but Nerissa calmly related the events leading to her family’s exile. Surprisingly, it helped to say these things aloud. Without a tear, she continued on, describing every disastrous turn that took away her loved ones like a farmer’s scythe cuts corn.
“But how did you become enslaved?” asked Theoton three hours later. It was so late into the night, gray light had begun to creep in through the nursery’s high window. “I mean, I understand that you were orphaned. And stripped of every kinsman who could shield you. Still, you’re a beautiful and fascinating girl. Of course, a dowry’s essential to marry well, but it’s hard to believe there wasn’t some patron who’d take you for a concubine. You would have been free and treated well. Why was it necessary to sell yourself into slavery?”
“What makes you think I sold myself?”“I just assumed. Nothing you’ve told me suggests that you were taken captive. Or was it pirates?”
“It was neither.”
“Then what?”
“It was jealousy, my lord.”
“Jealousy? I don’t understand. Who was jealous of you?”
“My cousin Chloe. But I was jealous of her, too. And if you aren’t sore from sitting here
so long, I’ll tell you what we did.”
“Why not? It will soon be light outside. There’s no sense trying to get an hour’s sleep
before it’s time to rise. My andron faces east, you know. I can never fall off when the birds are
singing. So go ahead. I’d like to hear all about this Chloe.”
I hated death. I also hated every God. Where once I’d venerated the entire Pantheon, now they’d forced me to detest them. They’d taken all my family, except for Chloe. I suspected that they’d picked my spiteful cousin as a further test. I could almost hear them laughing as they diced.
Would I slit Chloe’s throat today, or would I persevere in honoring my duty? Would I ease Chloe’s delirium as I’d done for half a month since hauling her onto this raft? Would I shade her with my own blistered back? Would I drip most of our precious stock of water onto Chloe’s lips? Or would Eris prevail, convincing me to throw myself into the flat and empty sea.
But then, that would be killing Chloe, too. I wondered which of the immortals had wagered I’d destroy two lives as my final act. In addition to the grief I’d sown among the wives and children of slain foemen. And all my many kinsmen who might remain alive, had my resolve been strong enough to shun the vanity of virtue.
If my eating knife’s dull blade could bring back even one of those who’d died, I would have gladly sawed through Chloe’s throat. Yes, I’d have to live on with the knowledge that I was a murderess, but could it be any worse than knowing that I was reviled on Olympus? It seemed impossible that the callous Fates could spin anything more onerous than what I’d borne already.
But no, I resisted taking on the burden of hauling Chloe’s soul upon my back. Nothing remained inside my spirit but an abhorrence of death. It wasn’t that relentless Helios had driven feeling from my mind. There wasn’t a moment when I could stop seeing all my loved ones’ deaths at once.
The only way I’d kept my sanity was by compressing all my sorrow into a drop of gall so bitter, it would have burned clean through forged iron. Every second since I’d swallowed this malignant bolus, I felt it eating through my entrails like a heated dagger. At least I’d ensured a lengthy route before it could worm up to my heart and gorge itself on my last will to survive.
In truth, I would have considered it miraculous if this had finally occurred. Through all the ordeals since our banishment from Smyrna, death rejected me time after time. The Gods couldn’t have provided clearer proof that they’d disowned me. Their hatred was so great that they wouldn’t even allow me to join the foulest criminals in Tartarus, where triple-banded night’s walled with impenetrable bronze. I knew exactly why even a place amid Earth’s murky roots would be denied. It started on that day I’d failed to save Euredon, the kindest, bravest, and most generous of brothers ever granted to a girl.
I was amazed to feel a tear slide down my cheek. Never mind the fact I’d taken in no water for a day. I hadn’t thought that I could ever cry again. I opened my parched lips and caught the fat tear on my tongue. It tasted holy in a way, like embracing Euredon’s noble shade… I didn’t feel forgiven, but maybe, just maybe, there might be some way to gain redemption.
I don’t know how long I stared out at a puff of cloud low in the sky. It grew no larger, but my leg cramped in sudden agony as if I’d sat motionless for hours. It felt as if my femur ground into the socket of my hip. I had to reach over Chloe’s head and knead my thigh until the pain became an ache that I could bear. While doing this, I noticed that Helios had drawn level with the little cloud. Another cheerless day was coming to an end.
And then I saw the owl. It must be a very large one, because I could see its feathers rustle as it passed the cloud. Even at this distance, I plainly saw its talons beckon. The hot air shimmered across the glassy water. I was wondering, could this really be a herald from Athena? Or was my mind slipping into death at last?
As gently as possible, I slid out from under Chloe. I set her head down on a barely damp sail cloth that I’d wadded up. Three days earlier, I’d spread it out to catch fresh water during the one brief squall of rain. Now kneeling on our raft, a section of deck planks that was the only piece still floating from Father’s boat, I used my hands to paddle toward the cloud. I tried to watch the owl, but soon lost sight of it.
I feared that it had only been a product of my fading psyche, after all. What would an owl be doing far out to sea? Though I’d often accompanied Father in his boat throughout my childhood, I’d never seen an owl hunt for fish. And after everything I’d done to earn Athena’s scorn, after all the misery that I allowed to happen, why would the Gleaming-eyed Virgin finally take me back into her heart?
But I felt the giant owl grasp me gently in its talons. I paddled on for hours, until it was more a motion of my fingers than my numb shoulders. I don’t remember landing, but woke at first light on a rocky shore. The place Athena guided us was a narrow strip of shingle, where a sluggish stream emptied in the sea.
Chloe lay beside me, breathing shallowly. There was no sign of our raft, but the sail cloth was spread over Chloe’s body. We both were naked, since our clothing had been torn from us while escaping Laestrygon. Chloe’s skin was much fairer than mine, so she needed to be covered. While I was now as brown as a yearling fawn, Chloe might have died if I’d allowed Helios to fondle her throughout our voyage.
It didn’t bother me that I was naked. Which might seem curious to you. As you know, despite the many things I’d seen, I was still a modest maiden. But this appeared to be a deserted coast. There were no footprints in the sand, no ships in sight, no sign of man’s inhabitation. Gannets nested in jagged rocks nearby, as if they had no reason to be wary. Two squirrels ran out from the trees to chase each other, not half a dozen stadia away. The land behind this beach was thickly forested. Whether we’d come to an island or the mainland of Hellas, I knew the nearest settlement must be far away. Otherwise, the wildlife would never be so fearless. I had to wonder if we’d be stranded here, with little hope of rescue.
Happily, there was no shortage of fresh water. And the gannets’ eggs would provide a much needed meal. Light-headed, I struggled to my knees. I used a sharp rock to cut off a large piece of the sail cloth, stood, breathed heavily until I’d gained my balance, then labored past my dizziness to stumble toward the stream.
I knelt down by its bank and had a look. The water seemed all right. Alive with tiny fish and shrimp. A little brackish when I tasted it, but fit to drink. I allowed myself small sips, and then a larger swallow from cupped hands. Then I soaked the piece of sail cloth and brought it back to Chloe. After coaxing my sleeping cousin to swallow a mouthful, I went to gather eggs. I chased off the gannets, ate three eggs raw, then brought back more for later.
My strength somewhat recovered, I searched the forest for herbs. Mother had taught me a great many that have healing power. I found the daisy-like pyrethrum to bring down Chloe’s fever, valerian root to induce a deeper sleep so she might recover quickly, and a bee’s nest full of honey to treat the sores afflicting both of us.
Exhausted by these chores, I slept until Apollo’s chariot had drawn Helios far across the sky. I woke to sounds of laughter. They were girlish voices, coming from the forest. I was astonished. This coastland must be settled, after all.
I checked Chloe, whose breathing now was easier. I dripped some water into her mouth. I wrapped myself in the piece of sailcloth that I’d cut off before, then picked up the four remaining eggs. If I was to find a welcome here, Mother had always said it was good manners for guests to bring a gift of food.
Following the stream, I stepped into the trees. I soon approached a place where the banks widened into a pond. Through the last few boughs of myrtle, I saw three maidens plashing in the shallow water. They appeared to be two or three years older than me. All were very shapely, which was easy to see, because they all were naked.
Then I saw they’d hung fine robes of green and blue and yellow on nearby branches. They must have washed their clothes and were enjoying the warm weather while their garments dried. In that case, I thought it best to drop my sailcloth before I stepped into the clearing. I wrapped the eggs in it. If the maidens were hungry, there’d be one egg for each of us.
They seemed to be in a very happy mood, laughing as they tossed a wooden ball. When one of them missed, the others would tease her merrily. They’d splash water at her as the girl retrieved their floating orb.
“Hello,” I called as I stepped into the sunlight. “I hope you don’t mind me joining you. My cousin Chloe and I landed on your beach last night, after Athena directed our raft here. I heard your laughter, so I followed its sound. I wanted to ask what place this is.”
The maidens stopped their game and turned to face me. They looked puzzled, as if they didn’t understand Ionic.
I tried again in Aeolian, then in the Egyptian dialect spoken on Crete. They still didn’t answer, but smiled at me in a friendly way. I’d noticed that these girls were quite bronze in complexion, about as dark as my skin after Helios had baked it. Finally, the tallest of the three nodded with understanding when I used Phoenician. Though I’d never conversed in it before, one of Father’s cherished scrolls was in this southern language. He had a copy of the same epic in Ionic. From reading both of them, I’d learned enough Phoenician to get by.
“You say you came here on a raft?” said the tall maiden. “Were you the victim of a shipwreck?”
“No, wild men on Laestrygon attacked my family. They smashed our ship, and they… they--”
I couldn’t say the rest.
“We’ve heard of Laestrygon. A captain once came here who said they’re cannibals.”
“It’s true.” I shuddered as the loathsome stench from their soup pots came back to me. “You aren’t near them, are you?”
“We’re not near anyone. Visitors are rare on Scheria.”
“My name’s Nerissa. My father was Asclemelion of Smyrna.”
“I’m Nausicaa, daughter of Alcinous. He’s the Basileus of Scheria, or some people would say ‘king.’ You must come up to my father’s hall, and tell your story. Though they’re busy now preparing for the contests where my husband will be picked, everyone will be pleased to see you. We get so weary of the same old stories. Oh, and did you mention that you came here with a cousin?”
“Yes, but she’s suffering from fever. I’ve found herbs to treat her, though. I think she’ll live.”
“We’ll help you carry her up to the hall. Come on, girls, get dressed.”
We brought Chloe to the oikos of King Alcinous. His household dwelt in a sprawling palace, with many columns and towering doors of cedar studded in bright metal. On closer inspection, I saw these bolts were made of gold. Nausicaa had servants carry Chloe into an airy chamber paneled with ash wood. Its arched windows overlooked a narrow bay. Its polished floors gleamed brilliantly. When I’d done all I could for Chloe, the princess Nausicaa gave me a beautiful white gown of silk. Once I’d bathed and used a borrowed strigil to scrape my skin, I changed from my wrapped sail cloth, and dressed my hair. Then I was led into the hall and introduced to Nausicaa’s parents.
King Alcinous looked very wise, with understanding eyes. He’d been well-named, for Alcinous means strong-minded in their language. Still, I could see his queen was the shrewd power here on Scheria. Her name, Arete, means steadfast. She looked me up and down, then asked me how I’d come to wear her daughter’s pearl white gown.
I explained about my shredded clothes. Queen Arete accepted my story readily, commenting that my bearing and my educated way of speaking proved me to be well-born. I started to disabuse her of this error, but quickly reconsidered. After all, my parentage is as good as any girl’s, whether she’s the daughter of a king or some great hero’s bride.
“I’ll be glad to tell you the whole tale,” I promised. “But since it will take hours, perhaps you’d rather I waited until the palace isn’t quite so busy.”
The story of my travels proved to be the highlight of their festival. Despite much wine, they all listened with close attention. Queen Arete interrupted several times, requesting greater detail on the battles that I’d seen, but no one doubted my honesty.
Unlike the other maidens who served at the feast, I was given an honored position alongside Nausicaa on a couch at the chief table. Though I was a stranger, destitute, and halting in their language, they treated me extremely well, almost like a visitor from Mount Olympus.
Earlier, they’d sacrificed an all-white ox to Zeus, then held athletic contests. There were no events for orators or poets, as we Hellenes favor at our festivals. The Scherians weren’t a particularly artistic people. Their concept of excellence was far more physical than ours. To them, the only criteria were fighting prowess and athletic skill.
I’ve hardly mentioned these contests, but the Scherians themselves had paid them little mind. The reason was that Nausicaa’s brother Vorous won all of the events. Discus, javelin, wrestling, pankration, running, chariot racing, and jumping. As I soon learned, this had been the case for five years straight. There’d be no marriage for Nausicaa until someone could defeat him at any of these contests. No wonder she hadn’t been more excited about the courtship games.
As for Vorous, he was a striking youth of twenty years or so. With merry hazel eyes, a beaming grin, and a body so well built, it must have made Ares seethe with envy, Vorous was the darling of every girl on Scheria. But he wasn’t expected to marry until he was much older. It turned out to be a very minor island, far from trade routes. The population that its arable land could support was small. Moreover, they were a notably healthy people, who often lived to a prodigious age. They had no enemies, and thus no battles. Therefore, it was the custom for Scherian men to delay marriage into their middle years, in order to limit the number of newborns.
I learned all this from Nausicaa, as we talked late into the night. If she was saddened by the failure of her suitors for another year, she made no mention of it. Rather, she questioned me intently about the medicines I’d used on Chloe. While we sat up in my cousin’s room, I took hours to explain the many properties of plants I’d learned from Mother.
Soon, everyone at the palace knew of my herbal skills. They came to me with pains and sores, complaints of baldness, gout, and toothache. Not that they lacked healers on Scheria. There was a midwife and a very elderly physician. He wasn’t jealous of my popularity. He adopted several of my cures, and taught me many things that Mother hadn’t known. But remember, this was an extremely isolated place. They relished gaining information.
Even Queen Arete and Prince Vorous came to me with problems. I was able to ease the queen’s excessive flatulence. Grateful that I mentioned it to no one, she promptly rewarded me with the promise of a fast ship to take me home once Chloe was recovered. Vorous also had an embarrassing problem. He asked for a remedy that might lend iron to his-Forgive me, I can’t say it to you, lord. Suffice to tell, it’s why older men chew mastic resin. And I don’t mean to sweeten their breath or clean their teeth. Though these bushes only grow on Chios, I knew of a common herb with a similar effect. I was able to find some near the palace. Vorous returned the next day to present me with an elegant string of pink-tinged pearls. I think his current lover was very grateful, too.
That evening, Chloe sat up unaided for the first time on Scheria. Her eyes were clear, her fever gone. Her voice was weak, but she was able to hold down some broth that I made. Her blisters had healed, and by the next day, she was able to walk with me in the garden. I told her everything that had happened on Scheria during her delirium.
“Those pearls are gorgeous,” she said suddenly. Who gave them to you?”
“Prince Vorous,” I said.
“Are you promised to him now?”
“No, not at all. He spends time with many girls, each one far more beautiful than me.”
“Then why such a generous gift?”
“I did him a service. No, not what you’re thinking. It was medical, you understand. I’ve won a surprisingly honored place on Scheria.”
“Oh? What was this service?”
“I can’t tell you. I promised him.”
“So it’s like that? I wonder, what could be so private?
“That’s between me and Vorous.”
“Vorous, is it, not, ‘the Prince?’ I think there’s something else between you that you’re not telling me.”
“No, nothing, Cousin. He’s as handsome as a god, and any maiden would want him, so I’d be lying if I said he stirs no feelings in me. But it’s not like that. I’m just his sister’s little foundling in his eyes. A young stranger with some healing knowledge.”
“Oh, come off it. You can admit the truth. You want him, just like you wanted Andrastus. I can see it in your blushing face.”
“Drop it, would you? The only thing I want is to get home and build a shrine for all our loved ones. Have you forgotten everything that’s happened?”
“Of course not… I merely thought it healthier if you admitted your true feelings. I could have helped you with the Prince. Wouldn’t you like to be a princess?”
“That’s the last thing on my mind. But if you’d like to have a go, don’t worry about me. I’m not your rival, Chloe.”
“Maybe not intentionally. But Prince Vorous wouldn’t have given you those beautiful pearls if he didn’t desire you.”
“As a matter of fact, I think it’s you he desires. He saw you sleeping while I was tending you. He gazed at you and asked me what your name was. He even returned with a question about the treatment that I’d already twice explained. I’m pretty sure it was to look at you some more.”
Satisfied with my answer, Chloe went back to her chamber. She said it was to rest, but she emerged an hour later wearing a silvery gown that Nausicaa had left for her. It was diaphanous, intended to be worn over a linen sheath. Chloe, of course, had neglected to wear the undergarment. She looked radiant, her fair skin recovered in its luster. Her upswept hair was bound with silver thread that Nausicaa’s maids provided. I’d given her some perfume that I’m made from essence of sea roses.
When she entered the court, every pair of eyes followed Chloe’s graceful stride. Still, I could see Chloe’s disappointment that Vorous wasn’t present. She carried it off well, introducing herself to the king and queen as I translated. She politely answered their questions about her health and added some details of our journey that I hadn’t known.
But as soon as possible, Chloe excused herself, saying that she must lie down. I was hardly surprised to learn later that she’d gone to find Prince Vorous. Naturally, she couldn’t speak Phoenician with him, but I don’t suppose that talk was necessary. She didn’t return to her room that night.
The next evening, Chloe asked to borrow my pearl necklace. I gladly gave it to her, but then she decided it didn’t look right with her silver gown. I think it was a test, to see if I’d lend it. Chloe wouldn’t have wanted to wear it, even with a gown of complementary shade like mine, since Vorous would know it was the gift he’d given me. Chloe still thought I was her rival, just as I’d been for Andrastus. Or wanted to be, that is, if he’d ever noticed I wasn’t his little playmate any more. But Chloe had certainly noticed the womanly shape I’d started to acquire. She hardly wanted to remind Vorous of me.
She came back soon, however. It seemed that Vorous was otherwise occupied. Chloe was furious. She didn’t speak to me all night. As if it were my fault that Vorous hadn’t fallen in love with her to the exclusion of all other girls. You could hardly blame him, could you? They weren’t even able to converse. Then again, this point was probably in Chloe’s favor. If he ever talked with her, it wouldn’t take long to learn Chloe’s true character.
I felt a little pleased, but hid it well. I liked Vorous, so I’d never wish him saddled with my viper of a cousin. Aphrodite may have blessed her with an exquisite face and a body men found irresistible, but her heart was poisonous. Those who didn’t shun her, they did so at their peril.
The next morning, I went to Chloe’s chamber with the tonic she still needed to rebuild her strength. She wasn’t there, but when I saw her again that afternoon, she seemed in a much better mood. She took me by the hands and smiled joyfully.
“Nerissa, I’ve had wonderful news,” she said.
“Vorous loves you, after all?” I asked.
“No, it’s much better than that. I’ve learned Andrastus is alive!”
“He is?” I felt like all my blood and breath had turned to joy. I could have risen up to Mount Olympus on a cloud of gratitude. “I’ve prayed so many times for this, but I never thought the Gods would listen to me.”
“I wouldn’t say so if I hadn’t seen the proof.”
“But how did you find out? This island gets no visitors. You’ve seen how much they make of us… Unless-Don’t tell me that he’s washed up on its shore?”
“No. The news is better. Andrastus didn’t come to Scheria half drowned. His ship is anchored at the same cove where we landed. He must have traced us here.”
“I don’t understand how he could he do that. We left no message anywhere. No one knows what happened to us… Oh, never mind. You say he’s at the cove? But why didn’t you lead him to the palace?”
“I told him he should come, but Andrastus thought he should stay with his ship. After all, this is a strange place, and we’ve known many enemies. He doesn’t speak their language, so how could he be sure of his reception? It’s one thing for maidens like us, but he’s a warrior who’s come here in a war ship.”
“That’s true. He’s right to practice caution. Andrastus has no way of knowing these are the most benevolent of people. You’d better lead me to him. I’ll explain.”
And Chloe did. She took me to the cove, where a sleek bireme was waiting. As a fisherman’s daughter, I had an eye for nautical lines -- I could see this was a very fine example. Strong enough to resist the fiercest storms, yet built so light it could be hauled overland. Shallow enough to row up rivers or maneuver along dangerous coastlines. It had a pair of cables strung from bow to stern, providing a taut construction without adding weight. This made the bireme virtually waterproof. And unlike most long-boats, this one had an anchor, so it rested easily there in the cove. It was so beautiful, I thought it must have been designed by Athena, Herself, She who’d invented ships.
We rowed out in the little skiff that Chloe had left on the beach, and then we climbed aboard. But my joy at finding Andrastus alive turned to outrage when two sailors seized my arms. They bound me with tight lashings as Chloe left.
I quickly learned this ship had nothing to do with Andrastus. He was nowhere near Scheria, if indeed he was alive. Still convinced I was the reason she couldn’t ensnare Prince Vorous, Chloe had taken advantage of a merchant’s yearly visit. She’d arranged to sell me to its captain. I’d been so desperate to hear Andrastus was alive, I’d foolishly ignored all the gaping flaws in Chloe’s ruse. When we reached Tyre, the merchant captain sold me to the slaver Hycron.
After hearing Nerissa’s story, Theoton began to visit every evening. Lady Phyllis never accompanied her husband into the nursery. In all this time, she summoned Vasiledes only once. And this occasion was because her neighbor Rhialete happened to visit with her little boy. It disturbed Nerissa, who knew a thing or two about the longing children feel for a mother’s love. But she could also see that there was an advantage.
Lady Phyllis’s lack of maternal sympathy kept Nerissa away from the woman’s disapproving eye. Now that Arsinoe and Demitria served at all meals in the banquet hall and family dining room, she rarely came into contact with the Mistress. In this large house, they passed in hallways only twice. Both times, Lady Phyllis was with friends. Naturally, she didn’t deign to notice Nerissa’s presence.
But the threat of being sold to Stenarch remained strong. Nerissa could feel it every time Praegon’s cold eyes swept over her. The steward always represented Lady Phyllis’s views. Clearly, she had a full report of her husband’s visits to the nursery. She knew that Theoton wasn’t bedding their son’s gerula. It would count for little with her, since she’d also know that Theoton had never paid nearly this much attention to his son.
Praegon’s iciness said that Lady Phyllis was far past suspicion. She knew it wouldn’t be long before Theoton shamed her with a new bedmate right in her home. That she hasn’t sold me off at once, Nerissa realized, or even invented excuses to punish me, means she fears Theoton’s reaction. They seemed to have a very complicated relationship, each cautious of the other’s anger.
Praegon, too, was obviously afraid of Theoton. Acid tongued with the other slave girls, he never said anything insulting to Nerissa. But Dora still looked at her with hostility. At meals, she took far more pleasure in catty remarks than in the food. At the spring, she’d purposely slop water on Nerissa. Now that her strength was restored, Nerissa knew she could easily beat Dora in a fight -- after all, she’d defeated many warriors, including women, during her clan’s travels -but Dora’s jealous behavior didn’t rile her. In fact, it was reassuring. She took it to mean that Theoton wasn’t sleeping with Dora, either.
She wondered where he looked for pleasure. That day at the women’s banquet, Dora had mentioned that the Master kept a courtesan in town. She’d like to ask him about this, but she couldn’t find the words. Every day as she walked with Vasy and Lyconas to the natatorium, she wondered where this woman lived. She’d find excuses to walk through the sailors’ quarter, imagining the sort of dwelling where a courtesan would entertain her patron.
She pictured what the woman looked like. Was her hair a sleek black like Dzunga’s or golden like her own? The image that formed in her mind was a voluptuous beauty with red tinged tresses like the flowing mane of a roan horse. They were so long and full, when the courtesan unwrapped them, she could envelop Theoton. Nerissa envied the woman this imagined screen. Then again, Theoton had praised the style when she’d twined her hair into a braided ring encircling her head.
She wondered if she paled in beauty next to the courtesan. Her face had healed and she’d recovered much of the lost weight, enough that pale Selene had resumed her monthly visit. In fact, her breasts were full and tender now. Of course, they still were badly scarred. She worried that Theoton would be disgusted when he finally saw them. A well-made face or not, he’d see her as hideous. A monster to be shunned, not caressed. She could never heal enough