As soon as I got to the Cote des Neiges Road crossing, instead of continuing due west I decided to descend to Sherbrooke Street. I felt like taking the busy/scenic route. Besides, I’ve always enjoyed walking from a lower neighbourhood to a higher one. That’s what happens when you walk due west on Sherbrooke Street. Even the language spoken is miraculously changed.
I can’t help it I’ve always been an Anglophone cat. You can’t take the Anglophone out of me. It just won’t come out.
As I was walking a driver of a blue Pontiac moving east slowed down then parked some thirty feet in front of me.
There was something about this creep that I didn’t like. I zoomed in on him with my incredible feline vision.
This guy was middle-aged, chubby-faced, bald, and looked like a pervert. Forgive me, but I can’t describe what exactly makes a person look like a pervert. It’s something that a cat senses.
“Honey, would you like a ride to Toronto? I’ve got plenty of food inside my car; milk, tuna, beef, chicken, and plenty of bottled water.
Look, I’m not a freaking buncher! Now, get into my freaking car or else I’ll shoot you with my gun!”
For a split second I found myself in a state of shock. What the heck was I going to do? I was in a situation where I could only run forwards or turn then flee. Crossing the street would’ve been extremely dangerous. Oncoming vehicles going in two directions were a continuous problem.
I decided to blitzkrieg the pervert. But, I’d have to do it in the right way.
“Okay Honey, I’ll get into your car, but please put your gun away.”
“Okay, I’ll put my gun way.”
As soon as I was within a few feet of the blue Pontiac’s side window I leaped through it then pounced on the pervert with incredible ferocity.
I sustained a clawing and biting campaign until I scored a knockout.
I had flesh and blood underneath my claws. I was proud of myself for beating a pervert without any mercy whatsoever.
Anyhow, I memorized the license plate just in case another attempt was made on someone else.
I continued my walk on Sherbrooke Street until arriving at Atwater Street. Once there, I turned right then took a left shortly afterwards. I was no taking a somewhat straight path home.
It took me another twenty minutes of walking to get home. As soon as I entered my apartment I ran to my bedroom then crashed out like a little baby.
At 4:00 A.M. I received a phone call. I let the home phone ring seven times before I answered it.
“Hello, who is this?”
“Jody Wilson, is that you?”
“Yes Gertrude, it’s me!
“Jody, please, I want to have tact, but at the same time I don’t like to beat around the bush. I don’t want you to come here for nothing.
Jody, I’m very sorry but your beloved friend Linda passed away a few minutes ago.
Apparently, the poison had spread throughout her body like wildfire.
Don’t worry I’ve made arrangements for a very quick burial. There shall be no proof of any foul play.
Jody, is there anything that I can do for you?”
“Yes, please make certain that Linda’ family is notified and that she receives a proper burial. I don’t believe that I’ll be welcome in their services.”
“Jody, if there’s anything that you need just call me up. If you ever forget my number and want to get a hold of me, I’m the Head Nurse at the Special Rooms section.”
We said our goodbyes then I hung up the phone. That was the last time that I ever spoke to Gertrude.
The following ten days were a living hell. I just couldn’t get the image of Linda’s face out of my mind. She was such an incredible friend.
Most of the time, we’re able to get over the death of a loved one. However, patience is called for.
It was on a beautiful Friday evening while I was taking a long walk through Westmount that I came across an old friend.
As soon as I decided to enter Westmount Park a black limo pulled up behind me. A few seconds later, the chauffeur honked his horn several times. At that moment there was no doubt in my mind that I was the target of the honking.
As soon as I turned back to get a better look at the chauffeur the passenger opened the door, and then gave me a big grin.
“Frank, is that you?!”
“Of course, honey, who else would be a passenger in a limo on a Friday evening?”
“I haven’t seen you in ages! What have you been doing with yourself?”
Honey-bun, I would like you to join me for a steak dinner. Please, don’t be shy. I’m your beloved friend.”
I entered the limo with high hopes for fun. I guess you could say that I was on the rebound. Any friend would’ve been welcome.
Frank rolled closed the limo door then ordered his chauffeur to make a U-turn and drive to his favourite steakhouse.
As soon as the coast was clear, the chauffeur made an ‘illegal U-turn’.
Sometimes, patrol cars or Security cars are hidden in the shadows. The officers on duty have nothing to do but swat flies, eat their donuts and drink their coffee. For them, giving out a ticket is like going to Disney World. It’s fun and exciting.
Thankfully, there were no ‘officers’ around. The chauffeur drove west for numerous blocks then he parked in from of a highclass restaurant.
The scent of steak, fries, and other foods was so intense I forgot to look at the logo. I can’t tell you the name of the restaurant.
Anyhow, we exited the limo then entered the restaurant drooling like hungry dogs. The chauffeur was actually frothing at the mouth.
“Mr. Bogey, how are you?”
“I’m fine, thank you! This is Miss Wilson, and you know Stan my chauffeur. I want the best table you can scrounge up, right now! Got it?”
“Yes, Mr. Bogey, I’ll find you the best table in the house. Just follow me, please.”
We followed the head waiter to a secluded, but very beautiful corner of the restaurant. The lights were dim, wall fixtures were beautiful, and the chairs and tables were incredible. Even the tableware and the utensils were shiny and expensive looking.
“Mr. Bogey, I hope that you like this spot?”
“Yes, now we shall sit down. Get us three menus, buns, margarine, and extra large milks.”
“At your service Mr. Bogey, is there anything else that you’d like?”
I noticed that the head waiter wasn’t being friendly to Frank out of friendship; he was terrified of him. Something was strange about this situation. However, I was too happy to see my friend. I brushed off my observation a short while later when the waiter placed our buns, margarine, and milk on the table.
“Jody, this is my chauffeur Stan Bambino. He’s a good guy. Don’t listen to those creeps that say bad things about Stan. He’s not a big ‘boss’s hit man’.
Jody, people are envious of Stan. Look, he’s tough, goodlooking, gets to drive around all day, and has many girl friends. He’s almost as incredible as I am.”
We ate and drank our appetizers then waited patiently for the waiter to return.
When the waiter returned Frank ordered for the three of us. Neither Stan nor I said a word. It was like we knew that he was in charge of ordering. That’s the kind of guy Frank was.
“Listen to me carefully, bring the three of us a steak each, large fries, garden salad, and coleslaw. Wait for fifteen minutes before bringing the pop and dessert.
Miss Wilson is my special guest. For her, you must give her the regular dessert and a large ice cream sundae; everything extra on it except for the chocolate. No freaking chocolate!
And one more thing, don’t make us wait too long, or else! Got it?”
“Yes, Mr. Bogey. I’ll be back with your order in a jiffy.”
“Jody, you’re so cute and adorable. Are you living with anyone? I mean does anyone pay for your rent?”
“No way Stan, I’m my own cat. Thankfully, I’m all paid up for at least one year. Afterwards, I’ll pay direct from my account to Kelly & Harrison Ltd.
Stan, why don’t you get married? I mean, like, you’re at your peak.”
“Jody, there’s no reason for me to get married. I’ve got a fat black book. In fact, I’ve got over one hundred names and phone numbers of beautiful women. Mind you, I can never outdo Mr. Bogey.”
“Wow, Frank! You’re so cool!”
“Honey, I always make certain that they’re smiling and say ‘yes’ before I lion them. You see, I’m not a thug! I respect the women in my life.”
A short while later, the terrified waiter returned with our order. It looked, smelled, and tasted out of this world! It was incredible!
A few minutes after we began our meal four gorgeous looking women entered the steak house. As soon as they spotted us they approached our table.
“Mr. Bogey, can I be your kitty tonight?” asked one of the women.
“Yes, but on the condition that I have three of you and my chauffeur has the fourth one.”
“Oh Mr. Bogey, you’re so awesome! You’re such a powerful man!”
“Okay girls, I don’t like to be bothered while I’m eating. I’m having a special business luncheon with Miss Wilson.”
That was enough of a hint to make the four women exit the steakhouse and wait for us in their van.
“Frank, don’t you want those four girls to eat with us?”
“Jody, I’m Mr. Bogey! I’m a big shot in the greater metropolitan area. People, including those girls, respect me. My enemies fear me.”
I didn’t push the conversation. While I was questioning Frank he began to slobber. That was my cue to stop talking. I didn’t want him to bite me.
However, after we ate our main course and began to eat our desserts and drink our pops Frank opened up to me.
“Jody, you know something: I’ve ‘lioned’ several thousand women in my lifetime. I mean, like, I do respect them. I mean, like ... they always say yes, they smile, and they act like they want it. Also, I never drug them.”
“But, like, what if one of those girls sends you the three golden words. Will you respond?”
“No way, I’m a lion! I can’t get all emotional and loveydovey with every girl that ‘I lion’.
Stan, I notice that you’ve finished your dessert and pop. Why don’t you go out to the limo, get inside, and listen to some cool music. I have some personal business with Miss Wilson.”
Without hesitation, Stan left the steakhouse. I kind of got the jitters. I mean, Frank had this serious look on his face.
It was then that I noticed that the steakhouse was empty. The waiter and the chef were the only two workers on duty; strange but not impossible.
“Waiter, come here! Give me the check!”
“Yes Mr. Bogey!”
The waiter wrote out the check then quickly came over to our table. After Frank paid for the food he ordered the waiter to scram; but in his own words.
“Look, I’ve got very important business to attend to with Miss Wilson. Now, I noticed that you were closing up shop soon. So, I recommend that you and the chef go to the kitchen and clean up. I don’t want anyone to bother us. That means ... you’ll lock the door and put up the ‘closed sign’. Got it?”
“Yes Mr. Bogey, immediately!”
The waiter did as Frank ordered and then he entered the kitchen. The kitchen was located behind two large, massive doors. Frank and I could have a nice private conversation without having to worry about anyone listening in on us.
“Jody, I want you to guard my handbag while I use the restroom. Can you do that?”
“Gosh I certainly can, Frank!”
I was very flattered that Frank trusted me with his valuables.
Frank entered the restroom then exited a short while later. For some unknown reason, he was wearing surgical gloves.
As soon as Frank sat down he explained to me why he was wearing surgical gloves.
“Jody, I just had an allergic response to the hand soap in the restroom. I get that sometimes. Thankfully, it’ll go away in a short while.
Now it’s your turn to wash up. Be thorough and dry yourself good.”
I entered the restroom to clean up. I made sure that my face and paws were dry before exiting the restroom. Thankfully, the hair dryer in the restroom blew warm air. It’s easier to handle for a cat. Hot air is too bothersome.
However, the hand soap felt very soft. It didn’t seem like it would cause any harm to a human’s hands. Anyway, I exited the restroom then returned to our table.
“Jody, do you still want to be filthy rich?”
“Yes, I certainly do!”
“Jody, do you want to own several mansions?”
“Yes, I certainly do!”
“Jody, do you want to take regular vacations across Canada travelling first class and without ever having to worry about expenses?”
“Yes, I certainly do!”
“Jody, do you want to be respected by the public at large?”
“Yes, I certainly do!”
“Jody, do you want to eat and drink the best there is in this beautiful world?”
“Yes, I certainly do!”
“Jody, would you like to know how to acquire all of the aforementioned good things I asked you about?”
“Yes, I certainly do!”
“Jody, this is a blueprint of the Royal Bank of Canada (RBC) on Guy Street.
I’ve received valuable information about a gigantic money deposit; all in cash! It’ll be kept inside a special safe. I need that money really badly! And so do you!”
“But Frank, what about the security guard? What about the cameras, especially the hidden ones. What about the security system? What about witnesses?”
“Honey, don’t worry about that. Everything has been taken care of. We’ve got a person on the inside who has told me about the one hundred million dollars in the special safe. Also, the security system’s wiring will be neutralized by a rat. I’ve made a deal with him; a year’s supply of cheese for the job.
In addition, before, during, and after our operation there’ll be three pigeons perched on top of a building near the RBC. They’ll be our ‘watchdogs’. If anyone tries to peer into the RBC the pigeons will swoop down upon the person like eagles.
As for the cameras, our ‘insider’ will neutralize them. Now, I can say for certain that we have a fool-proof plan.”
“Did you say one hundred million dollars?”
“Yes, honey, one hundred million dollars! I’ve got several guys who’ll load up our van with the loot.
But we need a keen-eyed, keen-eared feline like you. You’ll have a generalist’s job. You can lookout for danger on our way to the RBC, when we park, and of course when you’re inside.
We’ll have a German shepherd name Alex with us. He’ll be the ‘safe cracker’ and bodyguard if anyone does get inside the RBC while we’re there.
Jody, do you want in?”
“Yes, Frank! I love you! I want in!”
Frank and I studied the RBC blueprint for fifteen minutes before we left the steakhouse. I was told to wait patiently for a phone call before the weekend. The operation was set for a Saturday night when much of the city is drunk; exactly which Saturday I didn’t know.
We left the steakhouse and then headed straight for the limo. The Stan was waiting patiently for us inside the limo, and the four beautiful women were waiting in the back.
As soon as we entered the limo the four women began to talk about how much they loved Frank. Stan didn’t dare complain to his girl about that. Frank Bogey got whatever he wanted whenever he wanted it.
“Stan, drive back to the park, but go slow and easy. I want to enjoy this rode.
Girls Miss Wilson is my special kitty. Now say hi to her, or else.”
“Hi Miss Wilson, how are you doing?”
“I’m fine, thank you.”
“Okay, girls, that’s enough! Miss Wilson and want quiet so we can rest up from our gargantuan dinner.”
Frank rolled down the partition window in front of us and the one behind us literally sound-proofing our section of the limo. In effect, whatever we said was between us and nobody else.
Stan drove back to the Westmount Park, slow and easy as Frank had ordered.
As soon as we arrived at the outskirts of the park Frank rolled down partition window then ordered Stan to continue onwards to Rosemount Street. I figured the order was for a good reason so I stayed quiet.
“Stan, now take a left on Rosemount Street. Then I want you to park my limo in a dark spot, but don’t go up the hill!”
The girls in the back were sipping on Martinis and other alcoholic beverages, therefore pre-occupying them.
“Jody, I love you! You’re like the daughter that I’ve never had! I want the very best for you! In fact, after we complete this operation I want to sell my mansion then move to another part of town. Maybe, Mount Royal or somewhere like that.
Now Jody, I think that the girls in the back have waited long enough. Would you like to me to drop you off at home, or anywhere else?”
“No, actually, please drop me off here. I want to walk around and think about my life. I have to prepare myself for the big day. I really need my share of the loot!”
Frank opened the door for me then said goodbye. As soon as Frank closed the door Stan gave me three honks then drove off.
I decided to walk to the Westmount Park and have a seat for a while. I had to think this matter out. A successful operation would literally set me up for life. I would no longer have to worry about money matters.
However, if we were discovered, or worse yet, caught red handed, I’d end up spending the rest of my life in an animal shelter. The thought alone brings shivers to my spine.
A short while later I entered the Westmount Park then headed straight for the closest bench.
As soon as I arrived at the bench I leaped unto it then crashed out for a half an hour.
When I came to it seemed like a month had passed. It started raining on me. There was nothing to do but head for cover. Thankfully, some thirty yards from my position was a gigantic tree.
I ran to the tree then leaped up unto the largest branch in sight. I was happy to have such incredible cover. No wonder, there are many tree lovers in this world.
The rain turned into a downpour then faded roughly a half an hour later.
As soon as I leaped onto the ground I heard a voice calling out to me. At first I tried to ignore it. It was late and time to head home. I wasn’t looking or any trouble and I wasn’t in the mood to answer any questions.
“Hey, please come here! Please, I know who you are! You’re Jody Wilson, the cat who can’t make it with her own kind!”
Initially, I walked away, but then opted to turn back to see who was calling out my name.
Using my incredible feline vision I scanned the area until I spotted a squirrel hiding in the bushes. As I watched her she grinned back at me.
I decided to approach her because there was no indication of anger on her face or through her posture.
As soon as I was within a few feet of her she cautiously approached me.
“Hey, kitty, how are you?”
“I’m fine, thank you.”
Kitty I’m Ginger van Rodent. I’m glad to meet you.
Please, don’t tell anyone what I’m about to tell you. If you do ‘they’ll’ kill me without any mercy, compassion, empathy, or afterthought. I mean, it’ll be a very slow and agonizing death.
The underground or the mob doesn’t like it when people tell the truth about their doings.”
“I promise I won’t tell anyone what you say to me; cat’s honour on that!”
“Jody, this is the second time that I see you associating with Mr. Bogey.
Jody, Mr. Bogey’s a horrible mob boss! He’s a two-bit criminal who’ll use you for any purpose/s necessary then spit you out when you’re no longer useful to him.
Mr. Bogey and his associates are very violent men and women. Believe me I’ve seen them in action. You can’t cross or protest against the ‘Bogey gang’ without being beaten senselessly or murdered.
Jody, Mr. Bogey’s a smooth talker. He’ll hurt you in the end! Take it from a squirrel that has seen them all. I’m telling you the truth!
Jody, I know that he’s gotten you involved in something illegal. Please leave the city and change your name. Mr. Bogey is the real monster!
Jody, I know this because my friends and I listen in on peoples’ conversations. Squirrels sometimes pretend to eat when they’re really listening-in on people.
But, Jody, please ... I’m not like those other girls! I’m not really a snoop. I’m just curious of my surroundings. You never know when someone will say something important.
Jody, please ... Mr. Bogey’s a two-bit thug! Don’t do whatever he wants you to do! Please!”
“No he’s not! Frank’s a good man. He’s very wealthy and he’s kind of cute, too.”
Jody, please don’t do this! I’ve seen others like you perish without any trace!”
“No way, Ginger! You’re angry because Frank is rich and he loves me. He’ll never betray me!”
“Okay, Jody, have it your way! Now, I’ll be on my way!”
I left the park disillusioned. I didn’t know what to think of it all. But I did know that Frank had been very kind to me. No, I couldn’t believe the word of a total stranger over Frank’s character. I thought that Frank loved me. Boy, if I only knew.
I walked home in a state of utter exhaustion. I’d had it with being awake. I just wanted to hit the sack for a good twelve hours or more. Then I could think more clearly.
Thereafter, everything that I did was a blur. I must’ve looked like a zombie.
I hit the sack and dreamt many a dream for much of the night and through most of the morning. Thankfully, nobody called me up or knocked on my apartment door. I’d forgotten to turn off my mini cell phone and my home phone.
Everything went just fine for the following two weeks, except I was wondering why Frank hadn’t called me about the operation.
Then on a Thursday evening, while I was eating pizza the phone rang. It took me a few seconds to realize that it was the home phone that was ringing and not my mini cell phone.
I gently put down my slice of hamburger pizza then leaped unto the kitchen counter and lifted up the phone. You should’ve seen me! I did all of that in one smooth movement.
Cats have been blessed with incredibly strength, agility, and flexibility.
“Hello, how may I help you?”
“Honey, this is your Uncle Frank!”
I was flattered that Frank referred to himself as my uncle. Actually, I also blushed. I was lucky that nobody was around.
‘Frank, how are you? Please tell me about the operation? Are we ready or not?”
“Honey, we should meet up in near the Georges Vanier Library. But not too close or else we’ll attract too much attention. If a patrol car passes us we’re dead goose.
I want to meet up underneath the ball field bleachers. Nobody will see us there. If for some freakish accident we’re spotted by the cops we’re bringing along several baseball bats, gloves, ball caps, and three baseballs. We’ll tell the cops that ‘we came here to play ball’.
Jody, don’t worry! Everything’s in place! Oh ... we’ll meet up at 10:00 P.M. Please eat up, drink up, rest up, and use the restroom before the meet-up. I want all of us to be at peak performance for the big operation!
Now, Jody, there are several persons involved in our operation; three pigeons, two rats, two midgets, a retired prize fighter dog, you, and yours truly.
Jody, I can’t explain on the phone what each person’s duty is. I’ll give you and the rest of the crew a complete rundown while we’re under the ball field bleachers.
Jody, there’s one more thing. For security reasons you and I should erase any displays of our telephone numbers. That’s it. Also, I want you to nuke your computer. Everything should be destroyed. There should be no trace of us being together or of our friendship. Don’t worry this rule applies to each of us. Now, Jody, do you have any questions?”
“No, I’ll ask about the duties of the other persons under the bleachers.”
Jody, remember what I told you; I’m a lion! I cannot and will not harm you or worse yet, betray you! Trust me for what I am. I’m your beloved uncle!”
On the night of the operation I made sure that I was fully rested, fed, watered, and ‘bath-roomed’.
I left my apartment at 8:45 P.M. then walked across the hallway to the elevators. Once there, I felt the jitters. For thirty whole seconds I was shaking like a dog. Then, I took several deep breaths and relaxed my muscles.
Thankfully, when I got back to normal I pressed the ‘DOWN’ button then waited impatiently for the elevator to arrive.
As soon as the elevator door opened I leaped inside then leaped again in order to push the ‘L’ button.
I left my apartment building without incident. Believe me I was very thankful for that. I became a bit paranoid, believing that the doorman was going to call 911 because he could read my mind.
As I was walking away from my apartment building I realized that I was going to move out as soon as those millions of dollars were deposited into my bank account.
I began to daydream as I was walking to the ball park bleachers. So much so that when I began to descend the mountain I was almost run over by a black Trans Am. Although the driver was speeding I was walking in the middle of the street unaware of the world around me. That was a no-no!
I continued my walk without any incident until arriving I began to cut through Westmount Park. It was there that I came across a group of squirrels gathered together and also standing directly in my path.
I didn’t want any trouble with anyone especially while I was walking to the meet-up place.
As soon as I reached the water fountain located in front of the public restrooms I stopped dead cold. I was within a few feet of the squirrels.
“Hello guys ... excuse me but I need to get through.”
Situated amongst the squirrels was Ginger. She took two steps forward then spoke her words.
“Jody, please! We have a pretty good idea of what you’re up to. There’s a big job tonight. There’s much money involved, but dirty money it is. There may even be gold and silver as a bonus. But that won’t do you any good.
Jody, word’s around that members of the Bogey gang are going to hit an establishment some time during the weekend.
Jody, I told you once, and now I’ll tell you again: please get out of this horrible predicament that you’re in! Leave town and never return! Change your name and keep a low profile for a year or two. Otherwise, you may disappear in the St. Laurence River.”
“Ginger, I’m just taking a walk. I don’t want to do anything stupid this weekend or any other weekend. Besides, I’m fairly wealthy. Why should I steal from anyone?”
“Jody, we can’t stop you, but ... please remember that you were warned about Mr. Bogey.
If for some chance there’s much money involved in your big job that’ll be a reason to knock you off. Your share will then be incorporated into the smaller group.
Jody, you’re just a kitten. You don’t belong in the ‘criminal league’. I know for a fact that there’s much good in you.”
We went back and forth with our conversation until I’d had enough of it all. I interrupted Ginger but in a polite manner. I was now off to the ball field bleachers.
What those squirrels gave me was the shock of my life! I had no idea that the word had gotten around about our big operation.
As I continued my walk I began to have doubts about the infallibility of our operation. Maybe, the police were waiting for us near the RBC. Then, we’d all be dead goose!
As soon as I arrived at the Lionel Groulx Metro Station I debated with myself whether to continue or just turn around and forget the whole operation.
If in fact I did forget about the operation I’d certainly have to leave Montreal. In fact, I’d have to move far away.
This was the first time that I realized that I was very deep into this operation. Also, I wanted to be filthy rich.
I continued walking to the ball park bleachers with my mind focused on the loot. That’s what kept me going and forgetting about morality or empathy. My