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Will? I Am! : my Theo-ry of Everythink

good of it if only an Einstein could wrap his or her brain around its dimensions? No, it’s
got be the sort of thing that makes everyone clap their hands and exclaim, ‘Aha, but of
course! How obvious! Why didn’t I see it before? It was in the room with me the whole
time, but there was something good on TV.’
So, something obvious in hindsight. Of that I have no doubt. But, for the first person to
figure it out, it could be a different kettle of fish. Breaking new ground might not be so
straightforward for that trailblazer, because the meme, however simple and easy its
basis, must at the same time be a whopper. Undoubtedly it’d be all-encompassing in
scope—an oak in a nutshell. Landing it could take some effort. Pulling up that turnip could
take some grunt.
What do you say? Do you feel inclined to join me? If so, let’s saddle up and start our
search. Tally ho, on with the hunt and, as a teacher was wont to speed me on my way to
the school’s dental clinic, “The best of British luck!” Never mind that I don’t live in that
part of the world.
In the pursuit of our quarry, I’m expecting to cover quite a lot of territory. There’s the
whole wide world web there for us to explore. We’re bound to trespass across all sorts
of jealously-ring-fenced fields. We’re likely to step on a fair few toes and put the odd
nose out of joint. Along the way, people with a vested interest in various ideologies—I
allude to religion, cosmology, philosophy, ethics, human nature, sociology and so forth—
are liable to be offended. That can’t be helped; you can’t make an omelette without
breaking eggs. So, are you up for some rough-and-tumble?
If I had my way—and why on earth shouldn’t I; am I not as worthy as any other
person?—any world-changing idea worth its salt would lick the boxes of a long list of
interconnected concerns (see Appendix 1 for my entire list). For my money, it needs to
address questions such as:
Is there a meaning to life? What is death? Is there such a thing as reincarnation? Is
there an afterlife? Is there a God in charge, and what sort of a job does she think she’s
doing? Does granny’s dear, wee, sweet pet have a soul? What is the nature of good and
evil? What is the essence of time? Is the universe, like diamonds, forever? Is there a
‘right’ religion—one we’re meant to follow and never ever question? How does love fit into
the box? (Were the Beatles right?) What is sex for, and is it okay? (Again, see under
Beatles.) What merit, if any, lies in abstaining from alcohol, drugs, meat and tobacco?
Are humans really at the top of the pole? What should I, personally, do with my life? Do
I have an assigned role or am I free to please myself? Should we act ‘selfishly’ or is it
better to devote ourselves to the lives of others? Is the pursuit of happiness an
admirable goal? Is there such a thing as free will? Is everything predetermined, or can
we change the future? Why are there wars, poverty, starvation and terrorism, and what
can we do about them? Isn’t it a waste of time and effort to try to save the world? If
there is a higher power, why doesn’t he, she or it appear to give a damn? Does anyone
really know what it’s all about, or are we all just floundering in the dark? Is there a
mountaintop guru that we can approach for help? Is it even possible to become
enlightened? If so, where’s the manual?
Okay, I don’t deny that this is a formidable set of questions, so is it pie in the sky for
me to expect to resolve, not just one of them—enough in itself to induce a reader to
keep turning (and me writing) these pages—but all. All those birds killed with a single
stone! That would seem to be an unimaginably tall order. Nevertheless, I do insist that
I’m after an idea-meme that is able to explain everything—completely, and to my utter
satisfaction. Yes, I’m asking for the earth here, but why settle for anything less? Simply
put, I want a full and frontal grand solution—logically elegant and overarching—to every
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