The Sex Diaries
THE SEX DIARIES
Annie/Thursday, 13th April
We should have done this ages ago. It just makes so much sense. But of course Mr I-Know-Everything wouldn’t
have anything to do with it. Now, maybe, he’ll see that dealing with problems is better than hiding them.
I intend keeping this diary religiously. Fiona feels that the reason a lot of these therapies fail is because people
don’t apply themselves properly. It takes effort to achieve results, so you won’t see any slacking from me. I
will write something, if only rubbish, on these pages every day. I used to keep a diary when I was in my teens
on an off-and-on basis. Admittedly it was more off than on, but my life was so full then. I had so much to write
about and not enough time to do it. Now, it’s possible, that the reverse will apply. Came home from work, fed
the men, stuck a washing on, watched TV, went to bed. Fiona says she doesn’t mind us putting in the minutiae
of our lives, that it can be cathartic. Dickhead probably doesn’t know what that means. But I can understand
where she’s coming from. I want to put my life into some sort of context, especially with regard to the hopes
and ambitions I once had. Who am I? Where am I going?
Mr Wilson, no doubt, will spew his sexual fantasies onto his diary pages in the first few days and then clam
up like the repressed git he is.
But I think Fiona will keep the rod to his back. I admire her, she seems like a strong person. I’ll need to thank
Kate for recommending her. Kate! Who would have imagined her ever needing a sexual counsellor? Who
would have imagined us? Annie and Phil, the perfect couple, if they only knew.
Not that there’s anything massively wrong with our relationship or anything. I love him, and he loves me. I
I’ll need to think of a filename to save this under in case Roddy finds it. Either that or get him his own computer,
but money’s a bit tight just now. I know! I’ll call the file ‘Homework’, he’ll avoid that like the plague!
Anyway, this is meant to be a sex diary. Despite a lengthy session with Fiona yesterday (and some excellent
words of advice from her) Mr and Mrs Wilson did not have anything remotely like sex last night.
Annie/Friday, 14th April
No sex last night either. We had a bit of a kiss and a cuddle in bed, but just when I thought he was up for it,
he turned over and fell asleep.
I said, “I think we should talk about this, Phil”, and he said, “Uuunhuhh”, which is unusual as he can usually
only manage words of one syllable.
Work is crap just now. Veronica, our Head Teacher, has it in for me. She thinks I don’t maintain enough