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The Retro Express

These are special shoes dear lady, they are magnetic. That is they have
magnetic soles, and since the Retro Express is powered by positive magnetic
power, and positive electric magnetic power is channeled all through the floor
of the Retro Express, and my shoes are positively charged, they never touch
the floor. Actually, it is very comfortable after you wear them for a while.
But Mr. Ramblin, that still does not explain why they………?
I am sorry Ms. I failed to mention that positive and negative magnetic
forces attract each other, and if two fields of magnetic force are both positive,
or both negative, they will repel each other. Since my shoes are positive, like
the floor, my shoes repel against the floor, and it looks like I am suspended in
air. Which I am!
OK, Today all of you have requested that we go back only 100 years!!
Since it is now the year 2008, 10 seconds from when we leave, all of you will
be able to observe what it was like in 1908. I want to remind you not to get up
from your seats until we arrive at our destination. Once we are there feel free
to get up and look out the windows, and if you need to use the bathroom there
is one on each end of the Retro Express cabin. Information about 1908 will
automatically be piped into the listening device that you have in your ear, and
as I said, any questions you have just ask. Each of you has an individual
direct line into master computer, “Reginald”. “Reggie” is programmed to
answer what ever you ask. Your voice will activate “Reggie”….
Really Ramblin, please!!!!…….
Sorry “Reginald”, ah!where was I? Oh yes, via the little lapel pin each
of you were given when you entered the Retro Express. OK ! In a few
moments the shields on the windows will close, and we will be in complete
darkness for the 10 seconds it takes for us to arrive at our destination, the year
1908. You will feel a vibration beneath your seats, but do not be alarmed, it
will only last for 10 seconds, and your seat belts will hold you in your seat
until we get there.
Alright? OK “Reginald”, close the shields!
While Reginald takes care of the shields which are closing slowly now,
for many of you it will be the first time in your life you have a chance to
experience what complete, total, darkness is like. When there is no light there
are no shadows, and no points of reference…………
Ladies and gentleman this is how the world looks to a blind
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