The Magic of Oz
The College of Athletic Arts
Dorothy and her friends arrived at the Royal Palace at an opportune time, for
Ozma was holding high court in her Throne Room, where Professor H. M.
Wogglebug, T.E., was appealing to her to punish some of the students of the
Royal Athletic College, of which he was the Principal.
This College is located in the Munchkin Country, but not far from the Emerald
City. To enable the students to devote their entire time to athletic exercises, such
as boating, foot-ball, and the like, Professor Wogglebug had invented an
assortment of Tablets of Learning. One of these tablets, eaten by a scholar after
breakfast, would instantly enable him to understand arithmetic or algebra or any
other branch of mathematics. Another tablet eaten after lunch gave a student a
complete knowledge of geography. Another tablet made it possible for the eater
to spell the most difficult words, and still another enabled him to write a beautiful
hand. There were tablets for history, mechanics, home cooking and agriculture,
and it mattered not whether a boy or a girl was stupid or bright, for the tablets
taught them everything in the twinkling of an eye.
This method, which is patented in the Land of Oz by Professor Wogglebug,
saves paper and books, as well as the tedious hours devoted to study in some of
our less favored schools, and it also allows the students to devote all their time to
racing, base-ball, tennis and other manly and womanly sports, which are greatly
interfered with by study in those Temples of Learning where Tablets of Learning
But it so happened that Professor Wogglebug (who had invented so much that
he had acquired the habit) carelessly invented a Square-Meal Tablet, which was
no bigger than your little finger-nail but contained, in condensed form, the equal
of a bowl of soup, a portion of fried fish, a roast, a salad and a dessert, all of
which gave the same nourishment as a square meal.
The Professor was so proud of these Square-Meal Tablets that he began to feed
them to the students at his college, instead of other food, but the boys and girls
objected because they wanted food that they could enjoy the taste of. It was no
fun at all to swallow a tablet, with a glass of water, and call it a dinner; so they
refused to eat the Square-Meal Tablets. Professor Wogglebug insisted, and the
result was that the Senior Class seized the learned Professor one day and threw
him into the river--clothes and all. Everyone knows that a wogglebug cannot
swim, and so the inventor of the wonderful Square-Meal Tablets lay helpless on
the bottom of the river for three days before a fisherman caught one of his legs
on a fishhook and dragged him out upon the bank.