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The Dumbbell's Dictionary

Missile Crisis? Never forget that he lied to us about many things, not the least of which
was his Adkins Disease and his many back surgeries.
Joseph Kennedy, n. As far as is known, only man to have raped Gloria Swanson and then
take her movie studio away from her. Also known for telling his sons, around the dinner
table, that they could have anything they wanted, no matter what. Not exactly a paragon
of morality. Went on to buy JFK’s congressional seat in 1946, leading of course to JFK in
the Senate, and then the Presidency.
And let’s not neglect old Joe’s time as a rumrunner during the days of prohibition. And
further, his cowardly fleeing into the countryside of England every night during the
WWII bombing of England (the Blitz). What may be the most perplexing of his sins is
the fact that those sins, consisting of insider trading and many other violations of the
requirements of stock trading at the time, were rewarded by FDR by appointing Big Bad
Joe to head the Securities and Exchange Commission. See „The Sins of the Father.’
Robert F. Kennedy, n. Vicious little monster of the vaunted Kennedy clan (America’s
only royal family) who, not satisfied with getting eleven children on Ethel, decided to
follow older brother into the Gardens of Earthly Delight that Marilyn Monroe provided.
(According to a recent newspaper article, one of the most moral of men.) I suspect that, at
this late date, I’m simply too old to understand some of the younger generation’s
understanding of morality. My fault, or theirs? And just exactly how did Marilyn die?
Ted Kennedy, n. Hero of Chappaquidick. Superb liberal Massachusetts Senator re health,
labor and other issues, when he wasn’t in a drunken state chasing waitresses under the
restaurant tables. Wonderful public servant. Don’t believe me? Ask Joan. I would be
more than remiss if I did not state, at this juncture, that Ted Kennedy was the furthest
thing from a public servant. No, no, he was a public master, irrespective of his so-called
good efforts in support of the masses (a hideous term).
John Maynard Keynes, n. Influential British economist prominent early in the twentieth
century. (1883-1946) His 1919 work, „Economic Consequences of Peace,’ a withering
critique of the Versailles Treaty imposed on Germany by the victors in World War I has,
with his predictions of German reaction, made him something of a modern prophet. I do
not feel that the same can be said for his monumental 1936 work, „General Theory of
Employment, Interest, and Money,’ even though the ideas he expressed therein
profoundly affected, for many a year, the practice of macroeconomics.
His emphases on „pump priming’ and deficit spending simply don’t work. If you don’t
believe that, I suggest you consult the writings of von Mises, Hayek, Friedman, and
Sowell for an antidote. Richard Nixon famously said in the mid-seventies that we are all
Keynesians now. He was a bit ahead of his time. If he were still with us, he would
recognize that we are in fact all Keynesians now, thanks to the trillions in debt piled up
by the Obama administration.
Kenya, n. Country in east Africa. I’ve been there, and so has Obama. My question is: was
he there during his inception? Shouldn’t we at least consider the words of his purported
grandmother?
Kernal, n. Outranks a Major.
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