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The Dumbbell's Dictionary

Howard Fast, n. Author of „Spartacus,’ a novel which, while treating with the trials and
tribulations of the rebel gladiators in first century B.C Rome, does not fail to inflict upon
the reader the author’s collectivist, yea, communist, proclivities.
Father, n. Just what does it mean to be one? For starters, it can mean walking the floor at
midnight with a baby that can’t sleep. Then there is the repairing of a bicycle wheel, and
oh so much more important, guiding a young person through the rocks and shoals of
adolescence toward adulthood. Holding tight when everything seems to be falling apart:
that’s the essence of fatherhood.
Fatherhood, n. I recently came across a Yiddish proverb that says a lot about fatherhood
in very few words. Thus: „When a father gives to his son, they both laugh. When a son
gives to his father, they both cry.’
Fattest Knight at King Arthur’s Round Table: Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from
eating too much pi.
Fatuous, adj. Condition of being overweight.
FBI, n. Due to recent procedural changes, proceeding from the Clinton Administration
onward, could now be characterized as „Feed Basket Information.’
The Federal Budget, n. Or rather, the continuing lack thereof. On April 15th of this year
2011, the Republican House, bless them, passed a sensible budget that includes both tax
decreases and entitlement cuts. No so the Democrat Senate, which refuses even to
consider the House budget, and has not passed a budget of their own for two years
running.
All this while Obama dithers, saying this about the budget (and debt ceiling) one day, and
that on another day. And this gem, from Charles Krauthammer’s latest column: „And
what have been Obama’s own debt-reduction ideas? In last week’s news conference, he
railed against the tax break for corporate jet owners six times.’ (My note: And all this
while he lives rent-free in a pretty good house, while Michelle and the girls use Air Force
2, which is indeed another jet, to gallivanting all over the world on vacation after
vacation, staying in world-class hotels at taxpayer expense.)
Krauthammer continues: „I did the math. If you collect that tax for the next five thousand
years – that is not a typo it - would equal the new debt Obama racked up last year alone.
To put it another way, if we had levied this tax at the time of John the Baptist and
collected it every year since – first in shekels, then in dollars – we would have 500 years
to go before we could offset half of the debt added by Obama last year alone.’ This writer
rests his case.
Federal Funds, n. Any time you encounter the use of that term to describe the money used
to bail out a certain activity or area of the country, you need to bear in mind that federal
funds are nothing more than someone’s money, including your own.
The Federalist Papers, n. If you haven’t read them, you have no right to call yourself an
educated American.
Feedback, n. Surely better than backfeed.
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