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The Dumbbell's Dictionary

Want to try around fifty million over the course of the last century? Where, oh where, is
Jessie Jackson when you need him?
Euphemism, n. Perhaps the keystone in the arch of political correctness. And just why is
it that the honest and forthright use of language is considered inappropriate in
„progressive’ circles? The answer is simplicity itself: Don’t rely on those afraid of the
truth to express the truth.
Evanescent, adj. Lasting only a little while, but even then perhaps too long.
Eve, n. History’s first woman, and probably the most damned, especially by certain
organized religions, down through the ages. She may, however, have gotten a bum rap,
due to the fact that rumor has it that apples didn’t yet exist, and that the fruit she offered
Adam was actually a pomegranate.
Evil, n. Does it exist? Ask your fellow humans. Recall that Madison tells us that in order
for evil to succeed, it is only necessary that the good do nothing. And let us not forget
C.S. Lewis in his „Men Without Chests’ chapter in his „Mere Christianity.’ Thus, once
man has managed to conquer the entire known universe, he will have nothing left to
conquer except other men. And finally, the cause of evil is evil itself. Evil therefore being
its own cause, its cure does not lie in the application of traditional social policies.
Eviscerate, v. Tot take the guts out of your opponent, specifically, to act like a
predominant liberal Democrat politician.
Evolution, n. Theory which, accepted as fact by far too many, especially scientists and
left-wing intellectuals, has yet to be proved. Think about the microscopic rotifer with the
rotating tail. That tail needs to rotate if the organism is to survive. A tail in half rotation
would not get the job done. A more convincing case could be made in regard to the
human eye. Either it’s all there, or it isn’t. It wouldn’t work in the throes of an evolving
Evolutionary Psychology, n. In his „How the Mind Works,’ Stephen Pinker would have
us believe that he can retroactively read the mind of early man trudging the African
savannah, and that this ancestor of us all would have been gratified by a clear sky due to
the fact that he would be better able to spot predators than would be the case on a cloudy
day. Doesn’t leave much room for esthetics, does he? I think Doctor Pinker would have
been well-served in consulting Aristotle. This is, in my not so humble opinion, another
example of an intellectual farce.
Exception That Proves the Rule, n. Nonsense concept, acceptable only by so-called
liberal intellectuals. Exceptions do not prove rules. Things happening according to the
rules prove the rules.
Exercising, n. An absolutely wonderful activity, which I support wholeheartedly,
provided only that other people are doing it.
Exhaustion, n. State of a hydrocarbon particle after it has passed through an automobile’s
catalytic converter.
Expectations, n. Why, pray tell, do our realizations usually not measure up to them?