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The Dumbbell's Dictionary

which cannot even call a terrorist a terrorist, especially if the terrorist in question happens
to be a Muslim.
C
Julius Caesar, n. Reminds us that Gaul was divided into three parts: Gallia Cisalpina,
Gallia Transalpina, and Gallia Narbonnensis (the present day vicinity of Marseilles.) He
conquered all of them. I can’t help speculating as to whether he may have had three Gaul
bladders.
C.A.F.E. Standards, n. Another lovely job-killing law that would be enforced by our ever
more socialist national government. According to the Michigan-based Center for
Automotive Research, the CAFÉ mandate that automobiles average 62 mpg by 2025
„…could force vehicle prices up by nearly $10,000, reduce sales by 5.5 million vehicles
annually, and eliminate more than 260,000 jobs.’ Then of course there is one little item
that CAFÉ supporters neglect to dwell on. That is, automobiles that can meet the CAFÉ
standards (not necessarily a realistic assumption), will be smaller, lighter, and more likely
to kill people in a crash.
John C. Calhoun, n. Prominent southern legislator in the mid nineteenth century. Along
with Henry Clay and Daniel Webster, member of the Senate’s „Great Triumvirate.’ Are
we finally beginning to understand why he said that he hated equality but loved liberty?
Caligula, n. Third Roman Emperor. Full name: Gaius Germanicus Caesar, nicknamed
Caligula, meaning little boots. Was a sensible ruler during the first two of his four years.
He went hopelessly insae during his third year, and things only went downhill from there.
His two most famous pronouncements were that he would like to make his horse a
Consul, and that he wished the Empire had but a single neck so that he could sever it with
a single blow. Assassinated by his own Praetorian Guard.
Calvary, n. Troops on horseback.
Camelot, n. It, in the form that liberals insist we believe in, never existed. It was invented
out of whole cloth by Jackie Kennedy and Theodore H. White shortly after John Kennedy
was assassinated.
Camera, n. Device for taking photographs. Be sure to have one with at least one aperture
in front. Otherwise, no photos.
Capitalism, n. A free market and a free economy. Churchill reminds us that under
capitalism, granted, a few are miserable, but that under socialism, we are all miserable
together.
Captains Courageous, n. Exactly what you will try your best to find if Obama continues
to emasculate the military.
Card Check for union voting, n. What the hell has happened to the American labor
movement, which used to be the way (c.f. Samuel Gompers.) of giving the individual
union member the right that he should have had in the first place? Nowadays, with liberal
Democrats running the show, when you sign the card, you’re bound to have Big Brother
(i.e. organized labor) looking over your shoulder. Is this the type of thing that the
warriors at Bunker Hill and Valley Forge were working to achieve? Not likely.
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