The Dumbbell's Dictionary
Triumvirate, n. Rule of three dictators in ancient Rome. The first consisted of Caesar,
Crassus, and Pompey, established in 60 B.C. The second, and far more lasting,
established in 43 B.C. shortly after Caesar’s assassination, consisted of Mark Antony,
Amelius Lepidus, and Octavian (later, Augustus). The second Triumvirate was scheduled
to last until 37 B.C., but didn’t quite work out that way, for it was not long before
Octavian was able to seize power in the name of the man who had adopted him.
Troglodyte, n. The caveman masquerading as a progressive who would have you believe
that regression to the time of the absolute rulers is an advance into the glorious future.
Trojan, n. Ancient condom over which a ten year was fought.
Trojan Horse, n. As Homer reminds us in the Iliad, beware of Greeks bearing gifts.
Beware even more, however, of geeks bearing gifts, such as „Hope and Change.’ Hope
for what, exactly? Change to what? Whoever, in his abysmal ignorance, thinks that any
change will be change for the better, does not live in the habitable universe.
Trojan War, n. If we are to believe Homer in his Iliad, it never should have been fought.
Was Helen worth it?
Troopergate, n. Do you doubt it? If so, your imagination and, yea, your belief system, has
a much narrower range than does mine. Imagine this alley-cat, while occupying the
mansion of the Governor
of Arkansas, using Arkansas State Police for procurement purposes, even to the extent of
bringing women into the Executive Mansion.
Leon Trotsky, n. Second only to Lenin as one of the chief architects of the Russian
(Soviet) revolution, original commander of the Soviet Army. Here is what he had to say
about socialism in 1918, intending the saying to encompass all times and all places. „To
reject terror is to reject socialism.’ In this one instance, an honest man, for notice that he
placed terror before socialism. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to turn that around and
admit that socialism cannot be imposed without terror.
Trotsky was in a position to know, for in espousing a socialist world-wide revolution at
the same time Stalin was operating under the goal of „socialism in one country,’ he got on
and stayed on Stalin’s wrong side. Stalin proceeded to expel him from the Soviet
Communist Party, after which expulsion he fled to Mexico for his own safety, to no avail.
On Stalin’s direct orders, he was killed with an axe blow to the head in 1944.
True Love, n. Here’s how Dean Koontz, in his latest novel, „The Dead Town,’ has one of
the protagonists describe it, and it is truly worth remembering. Thus: „True love was the
Excalibur of emotions, and if you recognized it when you saw it, if you drew that noble
shining blade from the stone, your life would be a grand adventure, even if you lived it
entirely in one small town.’
Harry Truman, n. At first, and in view of his being a failure haberdasher and then being
called „The Senator from Pendergast,’ didn’t have much of a reputation around the
Capitol. But, and this is a very big but, when the presidency descended upon, him, he did
more than a creditable job. Examples aboud: The Marshall Plan, Nato, and the Truman
Doctrine apropos of Greece in 1947, that any Soviet plan to enslave democracies would
be met by military force.