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The Dumbbell's Dictionary

Rolaids, n. According to an elementary school class, the proper way to spell „relief.’
Makes one wonder.
Rolling Stones, n. The conventional wisdom is that they don’t gather moss. I beg to
differ. Some years ago I worked with a young man named Gregg Moss. He was
absolutely captivated by the Stones.
Romance, n. Seems in recent years to have been superseded by what Tom Wolfe calls, in
one of his latest books, „Hooking Up.’
Rome, n. The Eternal City. Of course she wasn’t built in a day, but what is also worth
remembering is that she didn’t expire in a day. Rather, over the centuries she rotted from
within, making it easy for the barbarians massed across her empire’s borders. That said,
classical Rome left us with the De Rerum Natura of Lucretius, the Discourses of
Epictetus, the Orations and writings of Cicero, the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius, and
the Annals of Tacitus. These five in themselves are sufficient justification for her
Rome and America, n. Is there yet another parallel between present day America and
Rome of the late Republic and early Empire? Consider the Roman’s felt need to provide
the mob with „bread and
circuses.’ Then reflect on the desire manifest by certain liberals/progressives to provide
so many federal services that, at some point, every one of us will have become a client of
the government (read: Nanny State.).
Eleanor Roosevelt, n. Lovely lady with a heart as big as the world, and a mind of similar
capability as a turnip. Else, why would she shake hands with Stalin’s butcher, Andrei
Vishinsky, at a United Nations function in the late 1940’s?
Theodore Roosevelt, n. Our first imperial president. He proved that forevermore when he
stated that he could do anything that the Constitution did not absolutely prohibit. One
wonders whatever happened to the concept of enumerated/delegated powers. He did,
however, have his good points.
Thus, when it was suggested to him that the government should take over the railroads,
he responded indignantly that those suggesting such action had no idea how inefficient
and undependable federal workers were. And this, almost 100 years ago. Some things
don’t seem to change. There are far too many present instances of federal workers acting
like those attending meetings of the Cheyenne Social Club. (Having spent twenty-two
years with an agency of the Department of Energy, I speak from experience.)
Root Causes, n. Absolutely asinine quest in place of punishment. You don’t worry
yourself about the source of a rabid dog who attacks you. You shoot the son of a bitch. It
matters not whether he was infected by a bat, a gopher, or another rabid dog. What
matters is your survival.
Jean Jacques Rousseau, n. One of Western history’s most famous and most destructive
philosophers. His observation, in regard to the Noble Savage, that man was born free and
is everywhere in chains, was a flat out lie, contrary to all of Western Civilization, and the
precursor to, not only the French Revolution, but also to Karl Marx and Fredrick Engels.