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The Dumbbell's Dictionary

little minds to shrink; but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his
conduct, will pursue his principles unto death.”
Sarah Palin, n. One of the shining lights not only of the Republican Party, but of
America. The lady is gutsy, gifted, and glamorous and, I suspect, better read than Ms.
Katie Couric. So she went to several colleges and took a few years to earn her degree.
Well, so did I. And I herewith state that if she runs in 2012 and is nominated, I will
undoubtedly vote for her. After all, I recall seeing a recent poll that gave Donald Trump
68% to Obama’s 13. Well!
Palladium, n. Our protector and safeguard of our liberty, according to General
Washington. That derives from the statue of Pallas Athena, which graced the Acropolis
of Athens in the fifth century B. C. It did indeed, work for a number of years.
Pampered puppy, n. Ridiculous. Have you ever seen a puppy wearing pampers?
Pandora’s Box, n. Pace Greek mythology, when Pandora lifted the lid from the box, she
discovered to her dismay that it contained nothing but music – rap music. She quickly
replaced the lid, but it was too late. The Western World had already begun to disintegrate.
Pansy, n. Flower that San Francisco produces altogether far too many of.
Paradise, n. Two dice.
Paramecium, n. If you have one mecium and then get another, you end up with a
paramecium.
Paranoids, n. Sad to say, even they have enemies.
Paraphrase, v. Can be an interesting exercise, thus ruining Shakespeare: Uneasy lies the
head that wears the curlers.
Parliament of Whores, n. In P. J. O’rourke’s apt phrase in the title of his book, pretty
much describes the machinations in Washington. Thus, we all too often get not honest,
vigorous politicians of integrity, but public whores who are against sin and for
motherhood, as long as these ideals can be maintained at our expense.
Party, n. It took a lot of nerve for the Bolsheviks in Russia in 1917 to call their system of
communism a party, which is how they tried to justify their strange mix of economics and
politics in one organization. That „party’ tried to take over the world. It remains absurd
even to imagine the American Republican or Democratic Parties involved in espionage,
or government toppling, or the establishment of a gulag.
Blaise Pascal, n. Seventeenth century French philosopher who was famous for, among
other things, saying that if all men knew what others said of them, there would not be
four friends in the world. I do believe he was much too generous in settling on the
number four. He further advised us that „Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully
as when they do it from religious conviction.’
Patriotism, n. Samuel Johnson called it the last refuge of a scoundrel. Notice that he did
not call it the first refuge. Ambrose Bierce did, however call it the first refuge. Now,
where does that leave us? Pace these two gentlemen, I’ll be forward enough to tell you
exactly where this leaves us. Patriotism is neither the last, nor the first refuge of a
scoundrel. It is, however, the true expression of a patriot’s native belief in the rectitude of
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