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The Dumbbell's Dictionary

My Mind, n. Of all the things I’ve lost, it’s what I miss the most.
Nails, n. Don’t paint them before driving them into the wall. Also, be happy that they
don’t have nerves. Otherwise, being hit on the head with a hammer would undoubtedly
not make their day.
NAMBLA, n. North American Man Boy Love Association. There is simply no cure for
this disgusting mind-set (not disease) except, that is, physical castration.
Name-Dropping, v. Carrying names around may be all right, but dropping them too
frequently can become boorish.
Names, n. As Shakespeare reminds us, „What’s in a name?’ Indeed. I’ve asked myself
many times over the years why the Hollywood Studios and their producers would not let
well enough alone, but had to rename their stars so that those names would resonate with
public as seen from the local marquis. For example: Leonard Sly becomes Roy Rogers.
Roy Fitzgerald becomes Rock Hudson. Archibald Leach becomes Cary Grant, and on and
on. And this is only touching the surface, not even dealing with such as Ava Gardner,
Lana Turner, or Doris Day.
Nanny State, n. Is it not that in which we are currently living? Decisions made for us by
an omnipotent government, life styles imposed, how much of our own money we can
keep. And it goes on and on, forever.
Nanotechnology, n. Already becoming the wave of the future. My questionis: Why not
Napoleon Bonaparte, n. Corsican Emperor of France, twice. Said to have had his
aspirations to universal dominance due to his short physical stature, to say nothing of the
backs and fourths of Josephine.
One of his most famous sayings is that an army travels on its stomach. I disagree. It
travels on another part of the anatomy. Consider: During World War II, the German G.I.
was issued only three sheets of toilet paper per day. The American G.I. was issued
twenty-two. We beat the Germans in western Europe. Q.E.D.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder, n. Pretty well describes Barack Obama. That is not so
say, Heaven forbid, that he is in love with himself, or is it? Well, let’s start with his
asinine statement that „We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.’ Compare that infantile,
self aggrandizing nonsense with the self-effacement of George Washington.
Next, let’s take a look at some of the character traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder
as described by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Three should
suffice. Thus: “The narcissist believes that he or she is „special’ and unique and can only
be understood by, or associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions).”
Secondly, and perhaps even more important, “The narcissist requires excessive
admiration.” Now recall how close Obama has come to declaring himself the new
Messiah. And finally, the narcissist thinks only of himself, and discounts the feelings and
convenience of everyday people he inconveniences to keep himself up and running.